Derailed by Alyssa Rose Ivy Page A

can’t keep blaming yourself for your dad. People make their own decisions. No one else can make their choices for them.”
    “Yeah, but we can influence their decisions.”
    “I’m not going to push you, but maybe you need to go look at the crossing—force yourself to move on.”
    “Maybe one day.” I doubted it would be anytime soon. “Can you please take me home?”
    “You sure? Do you really want to be alone?”
    Part of me wanted to tell Gavin about Adam, lay it all out there, but I couldn’t do it. “I need to be.”
    “All right.” He pulled back out onto the road, and we rode in silence until we got to my house. He touched my arm before I could get out. “You know you can get through this, right?”
    “Yeah, I know.” I told him what he wanted to hear, but I wasn’t sure that I knew anything anymore.
    “When can I see you again?”
    I half choked, half laughed. “You want to see me again?”
    “Of course. I thought I made myself clear earlier. But anyway, we have a joint bachelor-bachelorette party to plan.”
    I hadn’t even considered the bachelorette party. I had no idea where I would come up with money for it. I was already dangerously close to dipping below the minimum in my checking account. “They want a joint party?”
    “They thought it would be more fun that way. Those two can’t stand to be away from each other for long.”
    “I can see that. Okay, I’ll call you.”
    “I’m going to hold you to it.”
    “All right.” I got out of the car to head to the door.
    Gavin followed, stopping with me on the front step. “Take care of yourself.”
    “I will. Thanks for dinner.”
    He smiled. “Anytime.”
    I went inside, locking the door behind me before going right up to my room. Gavin’s headlights reflected off the windows as he pulled out.
    I changed into pajamas before stretching out on my bed, pulling a dog eared paperback from the shelf. I started to read A River Runs Through It for the umpteenth time, reveling in the comfort of a well-worn book. I’m not sure exactly what made me love that book so much. It was sad—but also so real.
    My cell rang. It was Ben, and I let it go to voice mail. Part of me, or really most of me, craved his presence, but I needed to stay away. I waited until my phone beeped, announcing the voicemail before dialing in to hear it.
    “Hey, it’s me. I was wondering what you were up to tonight. I came by earlier, but you were out I guess. Feel free to come over or just give me a call. Okay, bye.”
    Great, Ben had stopped by to see me. I decided to just text him back; there would be too much temptation if I heard his voice. I told him I was exhausted and going to bed. Thirty seconds later, my phone rang again and I just bit the bullet and picked up.
    “Hello.”
    “Hey. If you’re going to bed, can I come join you?”
    “I mean really going to bed. I haven’t exactly had much sleep lately.” Of course, even if I hadn’t been spending time with him, I wouldn’t have slept much.
    “All right. If you’re sure.” He didn’t bother to hide his disappointment.
    “I’m sure.”
    “Okay, so I guess I’ll see you Saturday morning then, for that photo shoot.”
    “Oh yeah, great! Did you double check with your dad?”
    “Yes. He had no problem with it, but my mom gave one condition.” It sounded like he was smiling.
    “What condition?”
    “You have to come over to their house for dinner Saturday night.”
    “Seriously?”
    “Completely. I think she’s disappointed you haven’t come by to see her yet.”
    “Oh.” I honestly didn’t think she’d want to see me. She’d come over herself when I broke up with Ben to ask me to reconsider and give him another chance. Seeing Mr. Mathews was one thing, seeing his wife was another.
    “Maybe we’ll find another place to do the pictures.”
    Ben snorted. “Molly! You can’t be that scared of Mom. You two always got along, and she loves you. You know that.”
    “She might have loved me