vulnerable.”
I stared at Benjo. His black, button eyes, which used to glint with a twisted, terrifying intelligence, were now dead and blank. How much, I wondered, was he aware of? Did he sense us here? Did he want to break free and punish everyone?
A shudder passed through me. I was a Fixer. Would they put me in there? Drain me till I was nothing more than a shell? Then any chance of undoing my decisions would be over for ever. No, there had to be another way to end the war.
“Perhaps we will find a Fixer in our new batch of recruits. Has your sister shown any potential in that regard?” Vine continued without looking at me.
“My sister? You mean Katie? What has she got to do with anything?” I said.
“Well, we had hoped she might turn out to be another Fixer. I’ll have a full report once the cadets have gone through the final stage of their training next week…”
Vine carried on talking but I couldn’t hear what he was saying, as the blood pounding in my head drowned it out. What if Katie was a Fixer like me? What if they took her and put her in this machine?
“I have to see her,” I said, cutting Vine off.
He looked a little shocked at my rudeness – he was obviously not used to people interrupting him.
“Well, if you think that it would help this situation.”
I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself from shouting that there was no way Katie was ever going to end up helping in “this situation”. I’d tear this whole place to the ground before I would allow Katie to come anywhere near it. I glanced at Benjo, his black eyes staring at nothing, at everything. This punishment, if that’s what it was, was the least he deserved. But there was no chance in hell I was going to let Katie end up the same way. I’d give myself up to this machine first.
I swallowed, pushing the rage deep down. “I have to see her,” I repeated.
“You will need to complete your report on the prisoner first,” he said.
“I can do that, sir,” Aubrey said.
I was overcome with gratitude and warmth for Aubrey. I knew I could trust her: in this reality and in every reality. There was nothing I couldn’t deal with as long as she was with me. I believed that together, we could find a way home. A way back for us both. But it would have to wait. Vine and Benjo and Aubrey all of this could wait. For now, I had only one concern: my little sister.
“Very well,” Vine said. “You are dismissed.”
I took one last look at Benjo and left.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The corridor walls looked like they were moving in and out like great lungs, expanding and then contracting in on me. I reached out and touched the wall on my left to make sure it was solid, that it was only my head messing with me. The slick dampness seemed to seep through my fingertips and up my arm to settle around my heart like a cold fist.
I forced myself to walk on till I got to the too-bright lights of the Hub. Throngs of S3 staff scurried around like ants. Everyone had a purpose, everyone knew where they were going. Everyone but me.
The tightness in my chest intensified. Pain shot down my left arm. I was having a heart attack. I was dying…
“Commandant?” a soft voice said. I felt a warm hand take my clammy palm.
CP was looking up at me, her large blue eyes peering out from under her long fringe, concern twisting her tiny mouth.
“Commandant, are you OK?” she said.
I laid a hand on her shoulder, marvelling at how her frail frame felt so solid, so real. She helped me straighten up.
“Yes, of course,” I said, changing my desperate grip on her shoulder to a reassuring pat. “I’m tired, is all.”
I tried to smile. But whatever expression took hold of my face only seemed to make CP look even more concerned.
“Can I get you something? A cup of tea? My Nan always said that a cup of tea would sort anyone right out.”
I laughed and some of the tightness lessened. “She was a wise woman, your Nan.”
“She’d want to get some food
I stared at Benjo. His black, button eyes, which used to glint with a twisted, terrifying intelligence, were now dead and blank. How much, I wondered, was he aware of? Did he sense us here? Did he want to break free and punish everyone?
A shudder passed through me. I was a Fixer. Would they put me in there? Drain me till I was nothing more than a shell? Then any chance of undoing my decisions would be over for ever. No, there had to be another way to end the war.
“Perhaps we will find a Fixer in our new batch of recruits. Has your sister shown any potential in that regard?” Vine continued without looking at me.
“My sister? You mean Katie? What has she got to do with anything?” I said.
“Well, we had hoped she might turn out to be another Fixer. I’ll have a full report once the cadets have gone through the final stage of their training next week…”
Vine carried on talking but I couldn’t hear what he was saying, as the blood pounding in my head drowned it out. What if Katie was a Fixer like me? What if they took her and put her in this machine?
“I have to see her,” I said, cutting Vine off.
He looked a little shocked at my rudeness – he was obviously not used to people interrupting him.
“Well, if you think that it would help this situation.”
I had to bite down on my lip to stop myself from shouting that there was no way Katie was ever going to end up helping in “this situation”. I’d tear this whole place to the ground before I would allow Katie to come anywhere near it. I glanced at Benjo, his black eyes staring at nothing, at everything. This punishment, if that’s what it was, was the least he deserved. But there was no chance in hell I was going to let Katie end up the same way. I’d give myself up to this machine first.
I swallowed, pushing the rage deep down. “I have to see her,” I repeated.
“You will need to complete your report on the prisoner first,” he said.
“I can do that, sir,” Aubrey said.
I was overcome with gratitude and warmth for Aubrey. I knew I could trust her: in this reality and in every reality. There was nothing I couldn’t deal with as long as she was with me. I believed that together, we could find a way home. A way back for us both. But it would have to wait. Vine and Benjo and Aubrey all of this could wait. For now, I had only one concern: my little sister.
“Very well,” Vine said. “You are dismissed.”
I took one last look at Benjo and left.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The corridor walls looked like they were moving in and out like great lungs, expanding and then contracting in on me. I reached out and touched the wall on my left to make sure it was solid, that it was only my head messing with me. The slick dampness seemed to seep through my fingertips and up my arm to settle around my heart like a cold fist.
I forced myself to walk on till I got to the too-bright lights of the Hub. Throngs of S3 staff scurried around like ants. Everyone had a purpose, everyone knew where they were going. Everyone but me.
The tightness in my chest intensified. Pain shot down my left arm. I was having a heart attack. I was dying…
“Commandant?” a soft voice said. I felt a warm hand take my clammy palm.
CP was looking up at me, her large blue eyes peering out from under her long fringe, concern twisting her tiny mouth.
“Commandant, are you OK?” she said.
I laid a hand on her shoulder, marvelling at how her frail frame felt so solid, so real. She helped me straighten up.
“Yes, of course,” I said, changing my desperate grip on her shoulder to a reassuring pat. “I’m tired, is all.”
I tried to smile. But whatever expression took hold of my face only seemed to make CP look even more concerned.
“Can I get you something? A cup of tea? My Nan always said that a cup of tea would sort anyone right out.”
I laughed and some of the tightness lessened. “She was a wise woman, your Nan.”
“She’d want to get some food
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