Defy the Stars by Sophie McKenzie Page A

with you, River. But it’s not fair. I mean apart from that
probably being the last thing you really want, if we were together again you’d have to deal with everyone else being angry or upset – your friends, your parents. I get that.’ He
squeezed my hand. ‘Still, as I’m here now I could walk with you back to the party?’
    ‘Sure.’
    We set off along the pavement. My head was spinning. On the one hand Flynn was saying that he wanted to be with me again. On the other, that he was planning on keeping his distance . . . for
my
sake, so that I could stay in this limbo place where I didn’t have to deal with the reality of a relationship and all the fallout it would bring.
    I stopped walking and took a deep breath. ‘Do you want to go out with me again?’
    Flynn frowned. ‘River, I already told you, I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I always have – I just didn’t used to believe I deserved you.’ He looked away.
‘I still don’t really.’
    I stared at him.
    ‘I know it’s not supposed to happen to people when they’re young,’ he went on. ‘But it’s happened to me. I
know
it. You’re the only person
I’ll ever truly love.
That’s
what’s in the stars, not what all those other people think.’
    We stood in silence again. My heart thudded.
    ‘I feel the same.’ My voice came out as a tiny whisper.
    ‘Oh, Riv.’ Flynn drew me towards him and we hugged.
    It was so good to be in his arms. I breathed in his scent, his shirt soft against my cheek, his chest firm and muscular underneath. Then I pulled away and placed my hands on his face.
    ‘I want to be with you,’ I stammered. ‘But so much has happened. And you
left
me. I get that you were all upset and confused last year, but you still handled the
situation really badly. And you got involved with Bentham, maybe at first because you were trying to help your mum, but you
stayed.
You might have taken the first bit of money for her, but
I can see the clothes you’re wearing and—’
    ‘Bentham wouldn’t let me leave,’ Flynn interrupted. ‘After the first job I wanted to stop, but he said I had to do one more so I said yes, but of course after I’d
done one more, there was another. Then another. I’d think he was finally letting me alone, then Cody would say I was needed again. In the end I realised he was never going to let me go, so I
got out.’
    ‘What did these jobs involve?’ I asked. ‘What kind of work did you do for him?’
    ‘I was just his bodyguard at first, but the jobs were different . . .’ Flynn hesitated. ‘It’s complicated. I was never involved in any real violence. I hate talking about
it. I feel so stupid that I got suckered into the whole thing in the first place.’
    I nodded. ‘That’s part of the problem though, don’t you see? I don’t know who you are any more – I mean I don’t know what you’ve been through and how
your life has been. And I’ve changed too.’
    ‘So you’re saying we need to get to know each other again?’ Flynn asked, his intelligent eyes burning with intensity. ‘I can do that. We can do it.’
    ‘Yes,’ I said, thinking about what he’d said. And getting to know each other means taking it slow, not leaping into a relationship or . . . or . . .’
    ‘Or a bed.’ Flynn laughed. He drew me close and hugged me again. ‘I agree. It sounds brilliant. I’ll do whatever you say, take it as slow as you like.’
    We started walking again, our arms around each other. I felt happier than I had done for ages, yet somewhere deep inside me I was anxious too. What would everyone say if they knew I was seeing
Flynn again? However slowly we took it, most of my friends and certainly both my parents would be appalled that I was letting him into my life once more. Not just because he had hurt me so badly
before, but because he was mixed up with murderous gangsters, one of whom was now trying to hunt me down.
    But Flynn had only gone with the gangsters to try and