someone else into this mess. Not until I feel safe.
The pads of my fingers brush the stubble on his chin. “I wish,” I whisper. “I wish I could let myself get lost in you.” I continue to touch him. I allow myself a minute of normalcy. A few seconds where I’m only a woman and he’s only a man. It would be nice to believe that is the case, but our lives are complicated. There can be no dating because at any moment, when I go back to work, I might need to disappear. “If only you knew just how much I wish it could be.”
I lie this way, looking at him, hoping that maybe I can find love. Hoping that some day I’ll be able to put my past behind me and sleep in my husband’s arms, unafraid of what tomorrow will bring. I close my eyes and pretend that someday is today as I drift back to sleep.
“Charlie.” Mark’s voice seems far off. “Don’t fake sleep just to get a kiss.”
My eyes flutter open, and I scan the room. “What? What time is it?”
“We gotta move,” he says as he leans back off the bed. “Now.”
I bolt upright as I take in Mark’s alert demeanor. “What happened?”
“Erik got a location on the team. I don’t have time to explain.” He throws some stuff in a bag. “He was able to get their tracker working and thinks they’re hunkered down in a safe house. We have to move quickly.” He races around like a tornado but leaves nothing in his path. Mark stills and eyes me with confusion. “Are you coming or are you staying here?”
I scramble from the bed. “I just need a minute to freshen up.” I grab my bag and head into the bathroom.
I spend a few minutes making myself presentable and reflect on last night. I’m confused and unbalanced. Everything with Mark is so damn complicated. I’ve never allowed myself even a little bit of freedom with this kind of thing. Sure, I’ve had superficial relationships, but with him, it feels like . . . more.
“Charlotte!” Mark bangs on the door. He has the best timing. There goes my ‘more.’ “Let’s go! Either you’re out in thirty seconds or I’m leaving you.”
I throw open the door with my eyes narrowed. What I wouldn’t give to kick his ass. “I’m coming!”
“You can bet on that,” he mutters under his breath.
“What?”
He smirks. “I said I’d like to beat you with a bat.”
“Uh huh.”
We finish packing the room faster than I imagined possible. Instead of taking the front exit, Mark chooses the side. The energy around him is different. It’s as if he’s wound tight, ready for battle, and part of me feeds off it while the other is nervous. He’s always so calm and collected; whatever information he received has him rattled.
Once we’re in the car, I decide to ask. “What was the information?”
He sighs and his fingers tighten on the steering wheel. “They think they’re dark for a reason, but my office heard chatter of a possible location of the safe house they could be at. I can’t confirm it with him because if they are there, it could be a trap.” He faces me, and I nod.
My hand slides across the center console and grips his forearm. He relaxes slightly and shocks me by grabbing my hand. “Your guys are trained. It’s only been a few days. I’m sure they’ve survived worse.”
“The safe houses in the regions are stocked. If they’re there . . . they’re fine.”
His fingers lace with mine, and he keeps hold of me. “Mark,” I start but I don’t quite know what to say. Do I tell him how good it felt in his arms? How maybe when this is all over we could talk?
“You know, one day you’ll realize how perfect we are for each other. You’re going to look back and see how much fun we could’ve had.”
Damn him. “Do you have to ruin any moment we have together?”
“I’m just pointing out the obvious that you’ve failed to realize.”
“I don’t know why I’m asking, but what’s the obvious?”
He smiles without answering.
I wait.
And wait.
“Mark!”
“That
The pads of my fingers brush the stubble on his chin. “I wish,” I whisper. “I wish I could let myself get lost in you.” I continue to touch him. I allow myself a minute of normalcy. A few seconds where I’m only a woman and he’s only a man. It would be nice to believe that is the case, but our lives are complicated. There can be no dating because at any moment, when I go back to work, I might need to disappear. “If only you knew just how much I wish it could be.”
I lie this way, looking at him, hoping that maybe I can find love. Hoping that some day I’ll be able to put my past behind me and sleep in my husband’s arms, unafraid of what tomorrow will bring. I close my eyes and pretend that someday is today as I drift back to sleep.
“Charlie.” Mark’s voice seems far off. “Don’t fake sleep just to get a kiss.”
My eyes flutter open, and I scan the room. “What? What time is it?”
“We gotta move,” he says as he leans back off the bed. “Now.”
I bolt upright as I take in Mark’s alert demeanor. “What happened?”
“Erik got a location on the team. I don’t have time to explain.” He throws some stuff in a bag. “He was able to get their tracker working and thinks they’re hunkered down in a safe house. We have to move quickly.” He races around like a tornado but leaves nothing in his path. Mark stills and eyes me with confusion. “Are you coming or are you staying here?”
I scramble from the bed. “I just need a minute to freshen up.” I grab my bag and head into the bathroom.
I spend a few minutes making myself presentable and reflect on last night. I’m confused and unbalanced. Everything with Mark is so damn complicated. I’ve never allowed myself even a little bit of freedom with this kind of thing. Sure, I’ve had superficial relationships, but with him, it feels like . . . more.
“Charlotte!” Mark bangs on the door. He has the best timing. There goes my ‘more.’ “Let’s go! Either you’re out in thirty seconds or I’m leaving you.”
I throw open the door with my eyes narrowed. What I wouldn’t give to kick his ass. “I’m coming!”
“You can bet on that,” he mutters under his breath.
“What?”
He smirks. “I said I’d like to beat you with a bat.”
“Uh huh.”
We finish packing the room faster than I imagined possible. Instead of taking the front exit, Mark chooses the side. The energy around him is different. It’s as if he’s wound tight, ready for battle, and part of me feeds off it while the other is nervous. He’s always so calm and collected; whatever information he received has him rattled.
Once we’re in the car, I decide to ask. “What was the information?”
He sighs and his fingers tighten on the steering wheel. “They think they’re dark for a reason, but my office heard chatter of a possible location of the safe house they could be at. I can’t confirm it with him because if they are there, it could be a trap.” He faces me, and I nod.
My hand slides across the center console and grips his forearm. He relaxes slightly and shocks me by grabbing my hand. “Your guys are trained. It’s only been a few days. I’m sure they’ve survived worse.”
“The safe houses in the regions are stocked. If they’re there . . . they’re fine.”
His fingers lace with mine, and he keeps hold of me. “Mark,” I start but I don’t quite know what to say. Do I tell him how good it felt in his arms? How maybe when this is all over we could talk?
“You know, one day you’ll realize how perfect we are for each other. You’re going to look back and see how much fun we could’ve had.”
Damn him. “Do you have to ruin any moment we have together?”
“I’m just pointing out the obvious that you’ve failed to realize.”
“I don’t know why I’m asking, but what’s the obvious?”
He smiles without answering.
I wait.
And wait.
“Mark!”
“That
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