asked me,
grinning.
“Jude!”
I shouted, my cheeks getting flushed.
After
Kris got into the driver’s seat, he turned and glared at Jude.
“Shut
up, asshole.”
“What?”
Jude asked, feigning innocence. “I’m just saying that there’s nothing like an
unplanned pregnancy to fuck up some pretty big plans.”
I
rolled my eyes and sighed and was about to say something back to him, but Kris
put a hand on my leg and stopped me.
“Jude,
not that it’s any of your fucking business, but yes, I wore a condom. I always
do because neither one of us is ready for a kid. Besides, Jess is only
eighteen. She’s too young.”
“That
doesn’t mean anything, Kris. Crystal was what, sixteen when she had you, Jess?”
Beau asked.
“Yes,
Beau, but look at how my life has been. You really think she was ready to have
a baby at sixteen? Hell, she’s thirty-four and still not ready to be a mother.”
Ryder
leaned forward in his seat and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Well,
we all know you will never be like her when you have kids someday. The best
thing that bitch ever did in her life was make a fucking awesome daughter,” he
said, shaking my shoulder. “We’re going to miss you, Jess.”
I
swallowed the quickly-forming lump in my throat and turned my face to smile at
him. I knew that Ryder cared about me like a brother would, but in that moment
with him saying something that in his own way was so incredibly sweet, I was
truly touched.
“Thank
you, Ryder. I’ll miss you guys too, so much,” I replied, placing my hand on his
before he sat back in his seat. I took a deep breath as I glanced back at my
friends, all of them smiling at me and I felt a hot tear fall from my eyes.
Kris
started the truck and before he put it in gear, he turned and gently caressed
my cheek with his fingers.
“Hey,
no tears. This is a good thing,” he said. “This tour is only for three months
and then we’ll be back.”
I
nodded and put on my best smile. “Right. Three months is nothing,” I replied,
putting my seat belt on. “Just make sure you call me as often as you can. I
want to hear all about the crowds and other bands you guys get to work with.”
“Dad
got us a prepay phone to use for now, so we can check in every day if we need
do,” Ryder replied.
“Why
can’t she just come with us?” Jude asked.
I
shook my head and forced out a laugh. “Jude, you guys are getting your first
big break in the rock world opening for a pretty huge band. You’re trying to
make a name for yourself so the last thing you need is to be known as the band
that has some girl following them around,” I answered.
“It
wouldn’t be like that. Maybe you can be our, like, wardrobe chick or something
like that,” Jude said.
“We
just don’t want to leave you behind with Crystal,” Beau answered softly. “We
care about you, Jess.”
“Guys,
it’ll be fine, stop worrying,” I said with a forced smile, lying as best as I
could. “I have avoided her for the most part for the past eighteen years. This
was eventually going to happen and I can’t expect you all to be there every
time I need help. I will be okay until you get back.”
I
glanced at Kris, who was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that I could
tell his knuckles were white even in the dark and his jaw was clenched so tight
I was afraid he would break a tooth. He backed the truck out of the parking
spot and started to drive, his eyes focused on the road but not saying
anything.
We
rode the rest of the way in silence and I kept stealing glances at Kris. The
look on his face was one of pure agony and worry. Seeing him looking this way
was making my resolve completely crumble. I was trying to be strong and not let
him see how scared and sad I was that they were leaving, but seeing him
starting to break was making it impossible to do that.
Our
first stop was Ryder’s house and I’m sure Kris had every intention of just
dropping him off but when we pulled into the
grinning.
“Jude!”
I shouted, my cheeks getting flushed.
After
Kris got into the driver’s seat, he turned and glared at Jude.
“Shut
up, asshole.”
“What?”
Jude asked, feigning innocence. “I’m just saying that there’s nothing like an
unplanned pregnancy to fuck up some pretty big plans.”
I
rolled my eyes and sighed and was about to say something back to him, but Kris
put a hand on my leg and stopped me.
“Jude,
not that it’s any of your fucking business, but yes, I wore a condom. I always
do because neither one of us is ready for a kid. Besides, Jess is only
eighteen. She’s too young.”
“That
doesn’t mean anything, Kris. Crystal was what, sixteen when she had you, Jess?”
Beau asked.
“Yes,
Beau, but look at how my life has been. You really think she was ready to have
a baby at sixteen? Hell, she’s thirty-four and still not ready to be a mother.”
Ryder
leaned forward in his seat and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Well,
we all know you will never be like her when you have kids someday. The best
thing that bitch ever did in her life was make a fucking awesome daughter,” he
said, shaking my shoulder. “We’re going to miss you, Jess.”
I
swallowed the quickly-forming lump in my throat and turned my face to smile at
him. I knew that Ryder cared about me like a brother would, but in that moment
with him saying something that in his own way was so incredibly sweet, I was
truly touched.
“Thank
you, Ryder. I’ll miss you guys too, so much,” I replied, placing my hand on his
before he sat back in his seat. I took a deep breath as I glanced back at my
friends, all of them smiling at me and I felt a hot tear fall from my eyes.
Kris
started the truck and before he put it in gear, he turned and gently caressed
my cheek with his fingers.
“Hey,
no tears. This is a good thing,” he said. “This tour is only for three months
and then we’ll be back.”
I
nodded and put on my best smile. “Right. Three months is nothing,” I replied,
putting my seat belt on. “Just make sure you call me as often as you can. I
want to hear all about the crowds and other bands you guys get to work with.”
“Dad
got us a prepay phone to use for now, so we can check in every day if we need
do,” Ryder replied.
“Why
can’t she just come with us?” Jude asked.
I
shook my head and forced out a laugh. “Jude, you guys are getting your first
big break in the rock world opening for a pretty huge band. You’re trying to
make a name for yourself so the last thing you need is to be known as the band
that has some girl following them around,” I answered.
“It
wouldn’t be like that. Maybe you can be our, like, wardrobe chick or something
like that,” Jude said.
“We
just don’t want to leave you behind with Crystal,” Beau answered softly. “We
care about you, Jess.”
“Guys,
it’ll be fine, stop worrying,” I said with a forced smile, lying as best as I
could. “I have avoided her for the most part for the past eighteen years. This
was eventually going to happen and I can’t expect you all to be there every
time I need help. I will be okay until you get back.”
I
glanced at Kris, who was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that I could
tell his knuckles were white even in the dark and his jaw was clenched so tight
I was afraid he would break a tooth. He backed the truck out of the parking
spot and started to drive, his eyes focused on the road but not saying
anything.
We
rode the rest of the way in silence and I kept stealing glances at Kris. The
look on his face was one of pure agony and worry. Seeing him looking this way
was making my resolve completely crumble. I was trying to be strong and not let
him see how scared and sad I was that they were leaving, but seeing him
starting to break was making it impossible to do that.
Our
first stop was Ryder’s house and I’m sure Kris had every intention of just
dropping him off but when we pulled into the
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