Deep Surrendering (Episode Three) by Chelsea M. Cameron Page A

“He was out of town and she didn’t want to be alone.”
    “Is that what she told you?” Chloe said, cutting me off before I could say anything.
    “Yes. And knowing Serena, it’s true. She’s always got to be surrounded by people,” Fin said.
    “I was hoping she was your cousin,” I finally said. “But she’s not.”
    “No, she’s not. But I’d rather not talk about her right now, because I’m here with you.” He pulled me closer to his side and kissed my cheek.
    “Good answer, good answer,” Chloe said, giving him a slow clap of applause. “And on that note, I should let you do whatever you’re going to do. Make good choices.” She hopped up from the couch, gave Fin an intense look, blew me a kiss, and strutted out of the apartment, slamming the door.
    “You have interesting friends,” Fin said. “Mine are much more boring.” This was the first I was hearing of Fin actually having friends.
    I didn’t respond. Friends?
    “I have friends,” he said. “They exist. I swear.”
    “Uh-huh. I believe you. It’s just hard to, um, believe because you can’t date normally, so I figured you wouldn’t do friendship the same. Which sounds dumb now that I’m saying this out loud. Forget what I said.”
    “No, it’s a fair point. Well, I guess my friends are mostly coworkers, since those are the people I see the most.” He thought for a moment. “And then there are some people I’ve met doing … other things, but I wouldn’t necessarily consider them friends.” His face changed whenever we got close to something he didn’t want to tell me. We were still doing the “one secret per night” deal. I hadn’t gotten my secret for tonight yet.
    “What would you consider them?” I asked.
    He sighed and moved until he faced me. “That’s another conversation for another night,” he said, brushing my hair over my shoulder. The air sizzled between us, and I could feel the shift to darker Fin. I’d wanted to stay at his place, but he’d said he wanted to stay here tonight. And by stay, I hoped he meant for the entire night, including sleeping.
    “Is it?” I asked, my voice squeaking a little.
    “Mmhmm,” he said, stroking the sides of my face and then fluttering his fingers down to my shoulders. I knew what would happen if I let him continue.
    I grabbed on to his wrists and stopped his ministrations.
    “Secret first,” I said, as he fought my grip a little. He looked up into my eyes as if he was going to protest.
    But then he sighed and relented.
    “You agreed,” I said, giving him his hands back.
    “I did.”

 
     
     
     
     

     
    Fin moved away from me. He seemed to crave distance when he talked about his past. I gave him his space and waited, scarcely breathing.
    “Remember how I told you I pay for sex?”
    How could I forget? I saved myself from making a sarcastic response by just nodding and biting my lip.
    He took a deep breath and then held it for what seemed like forever.
    “There are women, all over the world that I see.” I figured that out on my own. I couldn’t quite see where this was going yet, but he’d stopped talking and I thought maybe he needed some encouragement to get the rest of it out.
    “And?” I said, tentative. I hated to say anything and break the spell he seemed to go under when he talked about things like this.
    “And one of them is in Boston. She works at a club that I visit.” Now I was the one holding my breath.
    Were there such clubs in Boston? Well, there probably were, but the average person wouldn’t know about them and they definitely wouldn’t be advertised as attractions to visit in a travel brochure.
    “Oh?” Every time he told me a new secret, I had this fear that this would be the one that I wasn’t able to handle. That this secret would cause me to reach the limit of what I could stand with him and then I’d have to say goodbye.
    “And I went and saw her last week. After I left you. We didn’t do anything. I was too busy