Deaths Excellent Vacation by Charlaine Harris, Toni L. P. Kelner Page B

Serpentine was dead before my uncle even found out his real name. Don did send a team over to examine the apartment where Serpentine—or James Daily, as the autopsy certificate read—was found. Even though the person was clever at covering their tracks, Don could tell someone had hacked into Serpentine’s computer. Maybe it was a coincidence that some of the files that were accessed were about Tammy, or that Serpentine had been killed by a vampire. We knew Serpentine had undead connections since he sent a ghoul after Tammy. But maybe it was more than coincidence.
    “I told you vampires normally don’t bother with contracts on humans, but life never fails to surprise,” Bones said in a dry tone. “When we were at Bite, I told the gossipy bloke I spoke with that we’d be back tomorrow night. If we still go, it would allow me to dig for more information, but there’s a chance it could prove dangerous to you.”
    Tammy scoffed. “How dangerous? I’ve almost been electrocuted, shot, and eaten by a ghoul, remember?”
    “If another vampire did decide to get involved with the contract on you, he or she could follow us back here and try to take you out,” I said quietly.
    Tammy gave us a shrewd look. “And then you could catch them. Find out where my cousin is, I’d bet. I saw you in action against that ghoul, Cat. How about you, Bones? You’re a tough guy, right? Because I want this over. I want my life back.”
    Fabian floated in the room. “I could be the lookout. No other vampire or ghoul would notice me. I’d help keep Tammy safe.”
    Poor Fabian, he was right. Vampires and ghouls were notoriously disrespectful of ghosts. They ignored them more than most humans ignored homeless people.
    “Thanks, Fabian,” I said. “We could really use your help.”
    “It’s so weird when you do that,” Tammy muttered.
    I hid a smile. Some part of me thought Tammy didn’t believe Fabian existed and that we just pretended to speak with him to mess with her.
    “I’ll help protect her,” my mother said. Her face was closed off, as if she were fighting back memories. Once again, I hated what had been done to her because of me.
    Bones rose from his chair. “All right. If we’re going to Bite tomorrow, it’s time you learn to defend yourself, Tammy.”
    She gave him a startled look. “Isn’t that what I’m paying you two for?”
    I didn’t correct Tammy by saying my uncle and his department were getting her money, not Bones or me. I hoped Don wasn’t taking Tammy to the cleaners, but he was a government official.
    “You should still know basic skills. After all, you’re a pretty girl, and predators can have heartbeats, too.”
    Tammy brightened at the compliment. I hid a smile. Flattery would make her much more accommodating, as Bones would know.
    Bones went into the kitchen and came out with a steak knife. He dangled it in front of Tammy, who looked at it doubtfully.
    “What do you expect me to do with this?”
    “Stab me with it,” Bones replied. “In the heart.”
    Her mouth hung open. It was the first time I’d seen her speechless. “You’re kidding?” she finally got out.
    “You need to learn how to protect yourself against a vampire. Granted, your odds would be dismal, but your advantage is that no vampire would see you as a threat.”
    “That’s how I managed to kill so many of them when I was your age,” I chimed in. “The element of surprise can save your life.”
    Tammy looked at the knife again. “I don’t know . . .”
    Bones let out an exasperated noise. “Justina, come here and show her how it’s done.”
    My mother looked more surprised than Tammy had when the whole conversation began. I was taken aback, too.
    “You want me to stab you?” my mother asked in disbelief.
    Bones gave her an impish grin. “Come on, Mum. How many times have you dreamed about that?”
    My mother got up, took the knife, and then stuck it right in the middle of Bones’s chest. He never flinched or moved