Dead Souls

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Authors: Nikolái Gógol
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souls? What use could they be to
any one?"
    "If that is so, they might come in useful to ME," mused the old
woman aloud; after which she sat staring at Chichikov with her mouth
open and a face of nervous expectancy as to his possible rejoinder.
    "Dead folk useful in a household!" he exclaimed. "Why, what could you
do with them? Set them up on poles to frighten away the sparrows from
your garden?"
    "The Lord save us, but what things you say!" she ejaculated, crossing
herself.
    "Well, WHAT could you do with them? By this time they are so much
bones and earth. That is all there is left of them. Their transfer to
myself would be ON PAPER only. Come, come! At least give me an
answer."
    Again the old woman communed with herself.
    "What are you thinking of, Nastasia Petrovna?" inquired Chichikov.
    "I am thinking that I scarcely know what to do. Perhaps I had better
sell you some hemp?"
    "What do I want with hemp? Pardon me, but just when I have made to you
a different proposal altogether you begin fussing about hemp! Hemp is
hemp, and though I may want some when I NEXT visit you, I should
like to know what you have to say to the suggestion under discussion."
    "Well, I think it a very queer bargain. Never have I heard of such a
thing."
    Upon this Chichikov lost all patience, upset his chair, and bid her go
to the devil; of which personage even the mere mention terrified her
extremely.
    "Do not speak of him, I beg of you!" she cried, turning pale. "May
God, rather, bless him! Last night was the third night that he has
appeared to me in a dream. You see, after saying my prayers, I
bethought me of telling my fortune by the cards; and God must have
sent him as a punishment. He looked so horrible, and had horns longer
than a bull's!"
    "I wonder you don't see SCORES of devils in your dreams! Merely out
of Christian charity he had come to you to say, 'I perceive a poor
widow going to rack and ruin, and likely soon to stand in danger of
want.' Well, go to rack and ruin—yes, you and all your village
together!"
    "The insults!" exclaimed the old woman, glancing at her visitor in
terror.
    "I should think so!" continued Chichikov. "Indeed, I cannot find words
to describe you. To say no more about it, you are like a dog in a
manger. You don't want to eat the hay yourself, yet you won't let
anyone else touch it. All that I am seeking to do is to purchase
certain domestic products of yours, for the reason that I have certain
Government contracts to fulfil." This last he added in passing, and
without any ulterior motive, save that it came to him as a happy
thought. Nevertheless the mention of Government contracts exercised a
powerful influence upon Nastasia Petrovna, and she hastened to say in
a tone that was almost supplicatory:
    "Why should you be so angry with me? Had I known that you were going
to lose your temper in this way, I should never have discussed the
matter."
    "No wonder that I lose my temper! An egg too many is no great matter,
yet it may prove exceedingly annoying."
    "Well, well, I will let you have the souls for fifteen roubles each.
Also, with regard to those contracts, do not forget me if at any time
you should find yourself in need of rye-meal or buckwheat or groats or
dead meat."
    "No, I shall NEVER forget you, madam!" he said, wiping his forehead,
where three separate streams of perspiration were trickling down his
face. Then he asked her whether in the town she had any acquaintance
or agent whom she could empower to complete the transference of the
serfs, and to carry out whatsoever else might be necessary.
    "Certainly," replied Madame Korobotchka. "The son of our archpriest,
Father Cyril, himself is a lawyer."
    Upon that Chichikov begged her to accord the gentleman in question a
power of attorney, while, to save extra trouble, he himself would then
and there compose the requisite letter.
    "It would be a fine thing if he were to buy up all my meal and stock
for the Government," thought Madame to herself. "I must encourage

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