Thank you."
"I didn’t mind it a bit," Digger said.
Outside, Digger saw Terlizzi’s car still parked in front of Dr. Langston’s office, so he strolled across the green toward the ivy-covered brick administration building at the far end of the field.
The entire right side of the building’s first floor was turned over to THE PRESIDENT’S OFFICE, according to a large sign on the wall. He looked through the large double glass doors and saw Connie, the long-haired blonde, sitting at a front desk. When he walked inside, she recognized him and smiled.
"Help," he said. "I need an education fast."
"Gee, I’m sorry, but I don’t teach formally."
"Informally was more what I had in mind," Digger said.
"What were you interested in studying?"
"Boston nightlife on Tuesdays. Can you help? Or is it the USO for me?"
"Don’t cry. I’ll save you," she said.
"Good. Where and when?"
"Where are you staying in town?" she asked.
"Harbor View Apartments."
"I’ll meet you at Muggsy’s. It’s a seafood restaurant down the street from where you are."
"I’m not eating scrod," Digger said.
"Why not?"
"Because I’ve never seen a scrod. I’ve seen a halibut and a bass and a trout and a tuna, but I’ve never seen a scrod. I don’t think there is a scrod. You never hear anybody say he’s a scrod fisherman, do you, but you hear about tuna fishermen all the time."
"We’ll eat lobster tails," she said.
"Good. I hate lobster tails, too, but at least I know what they are."
"Eight o’clock," she said.
"I’ll be there," Digger said. "You’ve saved me from a lifetime of misery."
"I’ll bill you." As he reached the door, she called out softly: "Hey."
"What?"
"What’s your name?" she asked.
"If I tell you, you’ll use it to call and break our date."
"No, I won’t. What’s your name?"
"Digger," he said.
Crossing the green, he saw Terlizzi coming down the steps of Langston’s office building.
"Can I drop you anywhere?" Terlizzi asked.
"Wherever you’re going. I’m staying over near Faneuil Hall. How’d it go?"
"You didn’t tell me she was a looker," Terlizzi said.
"I saw the wedding ring on your finger. I thought you wouldn’t be interested."
"For her, I’ll make an exception," Terlizzi said.
"Are you going to tell me about your love life or how things went?" Digger asked.
"As far as my love life goes, mine went. My wife and I are getting divorced."
"Good for you," Digger said.
"If she’s got a clue on who wrote that letter, she wouldn’t tell me," Terlizzi said. "But I think I impressed her to be careful. I’m going to impress her more at dinner tonight."
"You’re going to hate it," Digger said.
"Why?"
"The woman’s beautiful, but she’s a liberal. She’s going to be talking student rights and police infringement on civil liberties and Amerika with a K. And that’s going to be before the appetizer. When the onion soup comes, you’re going to drown her in it. Pack her nose with melted mozzarella."
"You don’t understand anything about women," Terlizzi said.
"No one does," Digger agreed.
"I’ve got her convinced that under this rough exterior, there’s a bleeding heart just waiting to sneak out. Concerned about minorities, about improving the economic lot of all our citizens. I’ll go through her like a dose of salts."
"When you’re with her, pump her on Rampler and Rolan. Those two are bad news, I think," Digger said.
"Got it," Terlizzi said.
"Got the names? Rampler and Rolan."
"I got them. You mentioned them before and I wrote them down."
"Julian, you’re really irresponsible."
"This from a guy who was forty minutes late for his wedding?"
"It was your fault," Arlo Buehler said. "You wanted to stop for a drink."
"Yeah, but you’re the one who insisted we had time to get laid before the ceremony."
"Why didn’t you make it to the hospital?" Buehler asked.
"Remember the letter I showed you last night?"
"That chain letter thing? Yeah."
"It turned out true. Somebody on
"I didn’t mind it a bit," Digger said.
Outside, Digger saw Terlizzi’s car still parked in front of Dr. Langston’s office, so he strolled across the green toward the ivy-covered brick administration building at the far end of the field.
The entire right side of the building’s first floor was turned over to THE PRESIDENT’S OFFICE, according to a large sign on the wall. He looked through the large double glass doors and saw Connie, the long-haired blonde, sitting at a front desk. When he walked inside, she recognized him and smiled.
"Help," he said. "I need an education fast."
"Gee, I’m sorry, but I don’t teach formally."
"Informally was more what I had in mind," Digger said.
"What were you interested in studying?"
"Boston nightlife on Tuesdays. Can you help? Or is it the USO for me?"
"Don’t cry. I’ll save you," she said.
"Good. Where and when?"
"Where are you staying in town?" she asked.
"Harbor View Apartments."
"I’ll meet you at Muggsy’s. It’s a seafood restaurant down the street from where you are."
"I’m not eating scrod," Digger said.
"Why not?"
"Because I’ve never seen a scrod. I’ve seen a halibut and a bass and a trout and a tuna, but I’ve never seen a scrod. I don’t think there is a scrod. You never hear anybody say he’s a scrod fisherman, do you, but you hear about tuna fishermen all the time."
"We’ll eat lobster tails," she said.
"Good. I hate lobster tails, too, but at least I know what they are."
"Eight o’clock," she said.
"I’ll be there," Digger said. "You’ve saved me from a lifetime of misery."
"I’ll bill you." As he reached the door, she called out softly: "Hey."
"What?"
"What’s your name?" she asked.
"If I tell you, you’ll use it to call and break our date."
"No, I won’t. What’s your name?"
"Digger," he said.
Crossing the green, he saw Terlizzi coming down the steps of Langston’s office building.
"Can I drop you anywhere?" Terlizzi asked.
"Wherever you’re going. I’m staying over near Faneuil Hall. How’d it go?"
"You didn’t tell me she was a looker," Terlizzi said.
"I saw the wedding ring on your finger. I thought you wouldn’t be interested."
"For her, I’ll make an exception," Terlizzi said.
"Are you going to tell me about your love life or how things went?" Digger asked.
"As far as my love life goes, mine went. My wife and I are getting divorced."
"Good for you," Digger said.
"If she’s got a clue on who wrote that letter, she wouldn’t tell me," Terlizzi said. "But I think I impressed her to be careful. I’m going to impress her more at dinner tonight."
"You’re going to hate it," Digger said.
"Why?"
"The woman’s beautiful, but she’s a liberal. She’s going to be talking student rights and police infringement on civil liberties and Amerika with a K. And that’s going to be before the appetizer. When the onion soup comes, you’re going to drown her in it. Pack her nose with melted mozzarella."
"You don’t understand anything about women," Terlizzi said.
"No one does," Digger agreed.
"I’ve got her convinced that under this rough exterior, there’s a bleeding heart just waiting to sneak out. Concerned about minorities, about improving the economic lot of all our citizens. I’ll go through her like a dose of salts."
"When you’re with her, pump her on Rampler and Rolan. Those two are bad news, I think," Digger said.
"Got it," Terlizzi said.
"Got the names? Rampler and Rolan."
"I got them. You mentioned them before and I wrote them down."
"Julian, you’re really irresponsible."
"This from a guy who was forty minutes late for his wedding?"
"It was your fault," Arlo Buehler said. "You wanted to stop for a drink."
"Yeah, but you’re the one who insisted we had time to get laid before the ceremony."
"Why didn’t you make it to the hospital?" Buehler asked.
"Remember the letter I showed you last night?"
"That chain letter thing? Yeah."
"It turned out true. Somebody on
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