were tinged with a dull orange and streaked through with charcoal scars.
Ken saw me watching the darkened houses slip past and said, “I’m sorry about your friend.”
“Thanks,” I said, not really wanting to talk with him.
“I mean it,” he said. “I know you don’t think I understand. After what I said earlier, I mean. But I do. I do understand.”
We passed two men on their knees who were eating a body they had ripped apart. They looked up as we drove by, blood and gore oozing from their lips.
“I lost somebody too,” he said.
“Yeah?”
He nodded. “That zombie I told you about? That one I tied up back at the school?”
“I remember.”
His glasses were hanging on the tip of his nose, but he didn’t touch them. He looked down at his lap and took a breath.
“Her name was Margaret Sewell. She was a teacher at the school.”
“Were you guys—”
“No,” he said quickly. “Nothing like that. I would have liked us to be, but I never got the nerve to ask her out.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Thanks.” And then it was his turn to look out the window.
We drove on for a little while, dodging crowds when we saw them, staying away from traffic jams, and we talked about the zombies.
“You basically have three kinds of zombies,” he said. “At least that’s how we divide them up on my website. You got the Hollywood zombies, like in the movies, though sometimes people call those Pittsburgh zombies because that’s where Night of the Living Dead was made. They’re dead people that have been re-animated somehow.
“Next you’ve got the Haitian voodoo zombies. Those are living people who have had their free will stolen by a witch doctor. They’re used as slaves, primarily. Some argue that the Hollywood zombie is just an extension of the Haitian voodoo zombie, but I don’t think so.
“The reason I got into talking about zombies, though, is because of the philosophical kind. They’re mainly a thought experiment that philosophers use to talk about consciousness. It’s really just a sexy version of the classic ‘other minds’ problem, but I think it’s a really cool way of stating the problem. How do I know I’m not the only being in the universe with consciousness? That sort of thing.”
I turned off the street we had been driving down because of a large crowd and said, “But I thought you said we were dealing with a virus.”
“I still think we are,” he said. “I’m just telling you about the website. These people walking around here don’t really fit into any of the categories I mentioned.”
“So, what’s your take on them?”
“Well, first off, these people are all still alive. A lot of the hard questions would go away if they were dead. Some of the hard questions, anyway. You’d still have to deal with the religious implications of re-animated corpses, but as it is right now, those zombies are going to raise a lot of legal issues for people such as yourself.”
“Questions like what?”
“Well, they all revolve around the issue of consciousness. How much of it do those people have left. If they have any degree of it, then we have to ask if they’re culpable for attacking the living. Can you arrest a zombie, or even a near-zombie, for eating somebody? And what about the living? The people who aren’t infected? Obviously it’s self-defense if they shoot a zombie who’s trying to eat them, but what about all the thousands of zombies that are just wandering around, unable to find somebody to eat? Do we shoot them because they might attack us? Do we have an obligation to contain them and try to find a cure for this virus? Do we take the utilitarian approach and kill them all before they have a chance to spread the virus to the rest of the world?”
I almost laughed at him. “Is that the kind of thing you guys discuss on your website?”
“Well, yeah. Those are all valid issues.”
“Sounds like something for the courts to decide,” I said. “Maybe the
Ken saw me watching the darkened houses slip past and said, “I’m sorry about your friend.”
“Thanks,” I said, not really wanting to talk with him.
“I mean it,” he said. “I know you don’t think I understand. After what I said earlier, I mean. But I do. I do understand.”
We passed two men on their knees who were eating a body they had ripped apart. They looked up as we drove by, blood and gore oozing from their lips.
“I lost somebody too,” he said.
“Yeah?”
He nodded. “That zombie I told you about? That one I tied up back at the school?”
“I remember.”
His glasses were hanging on the tip of his nose, but he didn’t touch them. He looked down at his lap and took a breath.
“Her name was Margaret Sewell. She was a teacher at the school.”
“Were you guys—”
“No,” he said quickly. “Nothing like that. I would have liked us to be, but I never got the nerve to ask her out.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Thanks.” And then it was his turn to look out the window.
We drove on for a little while, dodging crowds when we saw them, staying away from traffic jams, and we talked about the zombies.
“You basically have three kinds of zombies,” he said. “At least that’s how we divide them up on my website. You got the Hollywood zombies, like in the movies, though sometimes people call those Pittsburgh zombies because that’s where Night of the Living Dead was made. They’re dead people that have been re-animated somehow.
“Next you’ve got the Haitian voodoo zombies. Those are living people who have had their free will stolen by a witch doctor. They’re used as slaves, primarily. Some argue that the Hollywood zombie is just an extension of the Haitian voodoo zombie, but I don’t think so.
“The reason I got into talking about zombies, though, is because of the philosophical kind. They’re mainly a thought experiment that philosophers use to talk about consciousness. It’s really just a sexy version of the classic ‘other minds’ problem, but I think it’s a really cool way of stating the problem. How do I know I’m not the only being in the universe with consciousness? That sort of thing.”
I turned off the street we had been driving down because of a large crowd and said, “But I thought you said we were dealing with a virus.”
“I still think we are,” he said. “I’m just telling you about the website. These people walking around here don’t really fit into any of the categories I mentioned.”
“So, what’s your take on them?”
“Well, first off, these people are all still alive. A lot of the hard questions would go away if they were dead. Some of the hard questions, anyway. You’d still have to deal with the religious implications of re-animated corpses, but as it is right now, those zombies are going to raise a lot of legal issues for people such as yourself.”
“Questions like what?”
“Well, they all revolve around the issue of consciousness. How much of it do those people have left. If they have any degree of it, then we have to ask if they’re culpable for attacking the living. Can you arrest a zombie, or even a near-zombie, for eating somebody? And what about the living? The people who aren’t infected? Obviously it’s self-defense if they shoot a zombie who’s trying to eat them, but what about all the thousands of zombies that are just wandering around, unable to find somebody to eat? Do we shoot them because they might attack us? Do we have an obligation to contain them and try to find a cure for this virus? Do we take the utilitarian approach and kill them all before they have a chance to spread the virus to the rest of the world?”
I almost laughed at him. “Is that the kind of thing you guys discuss on your website?”
“Well, yeah. Those are all valid issues.”
“Sounds like something for the courts to decide,” I said. “Maybe the
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