beside him and shivered. Cam slung my blanket around my shoulders.
“I spy,” I said, “with my little eye, something beginning with T.”
Cam’s gaze followed mine to the toilet. “Idiot.”
“Stockade expert, remember?”
He smiled a little at that.
I shifted, tugging my blanket more tightly around my shoulders.
“Cold?”
“A bit.”
Cam opened up the crackers on his ration pack and curled his lip. The crackers were soft and stale. I’m pretty sure the ration packs had been thrown together about the same time as my grandfather was born, but food was food, right?
I helped him out by eating half of his crackers. My belly was full enough that it was making me tired. I was still worried about Lucy, still seeing Marcello lying on the floor of the bathroom, and still angry about this whole fucking bullshit situation, but I’d spent enough time in the stockade to know that anger only ended up with busted knuckles. And I had Cam this time.
“Do you think it’s dark outside yet?”
“I don’t know. Probably.” He stuck a finger in his mouth, wet it, and used it to reach the crumbs in the bottom of his cracker packet.
Watching him suck his finger, suddenly I wasn’t so tired.
“What?” he asked. “Brady?”
I straddled him, tugging his blanket open.
“Um.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Cameras, remember?”
“Fuck the cameras, LT.”
“You can’t be serious,” he whispered.
I wedged a hand between us, shoving it down to find his cock. “It’s either this or I Spy.”
Cam grabbed my wrist and pulled it back. “Pretty sure those are not our only options.”
I sighed and shifted back off him. “Come on, LT. Some little fucker in intel, and we could have given him a show.”
Cam closed his eyes for a moment and leaned back against the wall. Then he shook his head and smiled. “Your brain does not work the same as other people’s. You know you’re crazy, right?”
“Stir-crazy.”
Cam opened his eyes. “Regular crazy.”
It had taken a long time back on Defender Three, when Cam had first been in my head, to get used to him. To realize that I didn’t have to be afraid of having him there. To realize that I didn’t have to be ashamed of all the stupid shit I thought. And said. And did.
Whatever.
It was nice to have someone see past all that, I mean. When it stopped being terrifying, anyhow. No walls between us. No spaces. Because sometimes I got so angry that I fooled myself there was nothing in me apart from rage, but Cam knew there was. He’d been able to see it even when I hadn’t. And he’d never laughed at me for being scared.
I reached out and laid my cold palm against his cheek. “I was horrible to you.”
“When were you horrible?”
“How about every time I called you a faggot in my head?”
He shrugged. “I’ve been called worse.”
“I’m sorry.” My throat ached, and my eyes stung with sudden tears. “I’m really sorry, Cam. And I’m not saying it just because now— Fuck .”
“Because now you’re on my side of the insult?” In the gloom his face was serious, but his voice was quiet. Gentle.
“Always was, I guess. Just too fucking stupid to know it.” I leaned toward him and pressed my lips against his. Inhaled his scent and wondered what sort of idiot I’d ever been that I’d tried to deny myself this. Cam was everything I’d ever needed. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” The words slid out of him as softly as a sigh. “So much, Brady. So much.”
Warmth rushed through me, a tidal surge.
“Yours was the first face I saw, remember?”
How could I forget? The med bay of Defender Three. Cameron Rushton in that Faceless pod, and a bunch of doctors—and me—in orange hazmat suits, ready to cut him out. It hadn’t gone to plan. Well, unless the plan had been to almost kill him. His heart had stopped. And me, sitting on the floor in a puddle of slimy fluid from the pod, my thigh bleeding and nightmares of infection running through my
“I spy,” I said, “with my little eye, something beginning with T.”
Cam’s gaze followed mine to the toilet. “Idiot.”
“Stockade expert, remember?”
He smiled a little at that.
I shifted, tugging my blanket more tightly around my shoulders.
“Cold?”
“A bit.”
Cam opened up the crackers on his ration pack and curled his lip. The crackers were soft and stale. I’m pretty sure the ration packs had been thrown together about the same time as my grandfather was born, but food was food, right?
I helped him out by eating half of his crackers. My belly was full enough that it was making me tired. I was still worried about Lucy, still seeing Marcello lying on the floor of the bathroom, and still angry about this whole fucking bullshit situation, but I’d spent enough time in the stockade to know that anger only ended up with busted knuckles. And I had Cam this time.
“Do you think it’s dark outside yet?”
“I don’t know. Probably.” He stuck a finger in his mouth, wet it, and used it to reach the crumbs in the bottom of his cracker packet.
Watching him suck his finger, suddenly I wasn’t so tired.
“What?” he asked. “Brady?”
I straddled him, tugging his blanket open.
“Um.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Cameras, remember?”
“Fuck the cameras, LT.”
“You can’t be serious,” he whispered.
I wedged a hand between us, shoving it down to find his cock. “It’s either this or I Spy.”
Cam grabbed my wrist and pulled it back. “Pretty sure those are not our only options.”
I sighed and shifted back off him. “Come on, LT. Some little fucker in intel, and we could have given him a show.”
Cam closed his eyes for a moment and leaned back against the wall. Then he shook his head and smiled. “Your brain does not work the same as other people’s. You know you’re crazy, right?”
“Stir-crazy.”
Cam opened his eyes. “Regular crazy.”
It had taken a long time back on Defender Three, when Cam had first been in my head, to get used to him. To realize that I didn’t have to be afraid of having him there. To realize that I didn’t have to be ashamed of all the stupid shit I thought. And said. And did.
Whatever.
It was nice to have someone see past all that, I mean. When it stopped being terrifying, anyhow. No walls between us. No spaces. Because sometimes I got so angry that I fooled myself there was nothing in me apart from rage, but Cam knew there was. He’d been able to see it even when I hadn’t. And he’d never laughed at me for being scared.
I reached out and laid my cold palm against his cheek. “I was horrible to you.”
“When were you horrible?”
“How about every time I called you a faggot in my head?”
He shrugged. “I’ve been called worse.”
“I’m sorry.” My throat ached, and my eyes stung with sudden tears. “I’m really sorry, Cam. And I’m not saying it just because now— Fuck .”
“Because now you’re on my side of the insult?” In the gloom his face was serious, but his voice was quiet. Gentle.
“Always was, I guess. Just too fucking stupid to know it.” I leaned toward him and pressed my lips against his. Inhaled his scent and wondered what sort of idiot I’d ever been that I’d tried to deny myself this. Cam was everything I’d ever needed. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” The words slid out of him as softly as a sigh. “So much, Brady. So much.”
Warmth rushed through me, a tidal surge.
“Yours was the first face I saw, remember?”
How could I forget? The med bay of Defender Three. Cameron Rushton in that Faceless pod, and a bunch of doctors—and me—in orange hazmat suits, ready to cut him out. It hadn’t gone to plan. Well, unless the plan had been to almost kill him. His heart had stopped. And me, sitting on the floor in a puddle of slimy fluid from the pod, my thigh bleeding and nightmares of infection running through my
Similar Books
