what it feels like to be a tiny field mouse stalked by a farm cat with hunger pangs. ‘He’s here. He’s watching us.’
‘We’re alone.’
I don’t believe it. O’Shea touches my arm. ‘Bo, you can’t let him intimidate like you this. We can’t even see him and you’re terrified.’
‘You know what he’s capable of.’
‘So let’s fight then. Two against one.’ He smiles wanly. ‘That’ll even up the odds up a bit.’
It won’t and he knows it. I wait, my fists curled, but X still doesn’t show. Neither are we being followed. I breathe in slowly through my nose, trying to bring my heart rate down again. Eventually, when it seems like O’Shea is right, I sag. ‘You’re right. He’s not here.’
O’Shea licks his finger and holds it up in the air. ‘Say that again. Say that I’m right again and you’re wrong.’
I smooth my hands down against my thighs to get rid of the clammy sweat gathering there. O’Shea watches then pulls me into a hug. ‘He doesn’t care any more, Bo. He got what he wanted. He’s just toying with you.’
I twist away. ‘It’s not that I’m afraid of dying.’
O’Shea remains calm. ‘I know that.’
‘I’m not even afraid of the pain.’
He regards me levelly. ‘You’re afraid that X will continue living and that you won’t be able to make him pay for what he’s done. It’s not just X though. All the damned Kakos daemons were involved in bringing down the Families.’
I meet his eyes. ‘But X is the one who made it personal. I don’t care about the others.’ O’Shea frowns but doesn’t argue.
I run my hands through my hair. ‘This was a mistake,’ I whisper. ‘Coming here was a mistake. Staying in the city was a mistake.’ I feel as if someone has dunked a bucket of icy water over me and now I finally understand what’s real. I’ve been kidding myself that I could take on X; it’s time to wake up and smell the damned blood. I drag in a breath. ‘We’ve not even seen X and I’m a mess.’ I tilt up my chin. ‘We should leave London. Tonight.’
‘What happened to that Bo Blackman determination? This is your city. Are you going to let him force you out?’ O’Shea seems puzzled, as if he doesn’t understand the severity of the situation.
‘It’s important to know when to quit.’ I glance back. My head is throbbing. ‘Nothing happened. No one spoke to us, no one threatened us, but I can feel it. It’s like I can taste it in the air. There’s nothing I’d like more than vengeance but I need to grow up.’ I think of what I said to Rogu3. ‘There are more important things. If we leave, there’s still hope for the future. Maybe, when we’re all back to full strength and we have the numbers, we can do something. But at this moment we’re powerless. I’m powerless. I was a fool to think otherwise.’
O’Shea nods, loyal to a fault. ‘Okay, then. Let’s go.’
Since the moment Michael opened his eyes, I’ve been waiting to confront X. The thought of bringing him to his knees was all that kept me going. That, and wishing for Michael to get better. Now, clichéd as it sounds, it feels like a gigantic weight has been lifted. There are other things apart from X for me to focus on. I can stop worrying about what will happen to London and start worrying about what will happen to me and mine.
I think about Bruckheimer and Berryhill and the witches and Vince Hale. Nah. They can all go hang themselves. I’m going to take the advice that everyone’s been giving me for days. I’m going to run away.
***
O’Shea and I jog to where the van is parked. I can still feel adrenaline firing through me. The female Kakos daemon doesn’t appear but there’s a prickling along the back of my neck that suggests she’s watching. She probably has her arm round X and they’re both laughing their heads off. I scowl with considerable ferocity.
‘What is it?’ O’Shea asks in alarm.
‘Too much damn thinking,’ I grunt.
‘That’s
‘We’re alone.’
I don’t believe it. O’Shea touches my arm. ‘Bo, you can’t let him intimidate like you this. We can’t even see him and you’re terrified.’
‘You know what he’s capable of.’
‘So let’s fight then. Two against one.’ He smiles wanly. ‘That’ll even up the odds up a bit.’
It won’t and he knows it. I wait, my fists curled, but X still doesn’t show. Neither are we being followed. I breathe in slowly through my nose, trying to bring my heart rate down again. Eventually, when it seems like O’Shea is right, I sag. ‘You’re right. He’s not here.’
O’Shea licks his finger and holds it up in the air. ‘Say that again. Say that I’m right again and you’re wrong.’
I smooth my hands down against my thighs to get rid of the clammy sweat gathering there. O’Shea watches then pulls me into a hug. ‘He doesn’t care any more, Bo. He got what he wanted. He’s just toying with you.’
I twist away. ‘It’s not that I’m afraid of dying.’
O’Shea remains calm. ‘I know that.’
‘I’m not even afraid of the pain.’
He regards me levelly. ‘You’re afraid that X will continue living and that you won’t be able to make him pay for what he’s done. It’s not just X though. All the damned Kakos daemons were involved in bringing down the Families.’
I meet his eyes. ‘But X is the one who made it personal. I don’t care about the others.’ O’Shea frowns but doesn’t argue.
I run my hands through my hair. ‘This was a mistake,’ I whisper. ‘Coming here was a mistake. Staying in the city was a mistake.’ I feel as if someone has dunked a bucket of icy water over me and now I finally understand what’s real. I’ve been kidding myself that I could take on X; it’s time to wake up and smell the damned blood. I drag in a breath. ‘We’ve not even seen X and I’m a mess.’ I tilt up my chin. ‘We should leave London. Tonight.’
‘What happened to that Bo Blackman determination? This is your city. Are you going to let him force you out?’ O’Shea seems puzzled, as if he doesn’t understand the severity of the situation.
‘It’s important to know when to quit.’ I glance back. My head is throbbing. ‘Nothing happened. No one spoke to us, no one threatened us, but I can feel it. It’s like I can taste it in the air. There’s nothing I’d like more than vengeance but I need to grow up.’ I think of what I said to Rogu3. ‘There are more important things. If we leave, there’s still hope for the future. Maybe, when we’re all back to full strength and we have the numbers, we can do something. But at this moment we’re powerless. I’m powerless. I was a fool to think otherwise.’
O’Shea nods, loyal to a fault. ‘Okay, then. Let’s go.’
Since the moment Michael opened his eyes, I’ve been waiting to confront X. The thought of bringing him to his knees was all that kept me going. That, and wishing for Michael to get better. Now, clichéd as it sounds, it feels like a gigantic weight has been lifted. There are other things apart from X for me to focus on. I can stop worrying about what will happen to London and start worrying about what will happen to me and mine.
I think about Bruckheimer and Berryhill and the witches and Vince Hale. Nah. They can all go hang themselves. I’m going to take the advice that everyone’s been giving me for days. I’m going to run away.
***
O’Shea and I jog to where the van is parked. I can still feel adrenaline firing through me. The female Kakos daemon doesn’t appear but there’s a prickling along the back of my neck that suggests she’s watching. She probably has her arm round X and they’re both laughing their heads off. I scowl with considerable ferocity.
‘What is it?’ O’Shea asks in alarm.
‘Too much damn thinking,’ I grunt.
‘That’s
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