This disturbs me; I don’t like the idea of him having been in pain all this time and unable to communicate that with us.
“We can give you a higher dose of medication for the pain.” Evan has been doing well with the one-word answers until now, but he pauses before finally answering no.
“Evan, you don’t need to be in pain, please let them help you.” His eyes move to me.
“No.” he answers again.
“Mrs. Lawson, if I may…we can wait a little while, if his blood pressure goes up I’ll have to insist though. Things are progressing so well I don’t want any increased pressure on the brain.”
I still don’t know this physician's name and I scan his white coat for a badge, but I can’t see it.”
“Yes, I understand Dr…?”
“Carmichael, I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself properly.”
“It’s ok, so, Dr. Carmichael, as I was saying, I understand, I’m an ICU nurse in the States but isn’t allowing his pain level to get out of control a risk in and of itself?”
“Yes, I don’t expect it will go that far though. You will tell the nurse won’t you, Mr. Lawson?” I interrupt before he can answer.
“No, no he won’t tell you. He’s stubborn and proud, and he will let it go until it’s unbearable.” My hand is now being crushed, his brow furrowed deeply, jaw ticking.
“Don’t,” he pushes the word out with effort.
“No Evan, I know you and you’ll wait too long. Let them up your dose until tomorrow at least…please.” Dr. Carmichael is looking at me like an escapee from an insane asylum; clearly he doesn’t think I should be arguing with the infamous Mr. Lawson. Evan closes his eyes, squeezing them tight.
“Ok.”
I sigh in relief, thank God! He continues to keep his eyes closed; he’s done with this conversation, and this is his way of communicating that.
“Thank you, Dr. Carmichael; will we see you in the morning?”
“Yes, I’m sleeping here tonight and I will return for rounds at 7 a.m.” I reach across the bed with my free hand and shake his hand and give a curt polite smile before he exits. Evan’s eyes are still closed, but his grip is tight. When I look up to follow his movements out the door, I’m again distracted by Isaac’s expression, and I look at him with question frowning and tilting my head to the side. He ever so slightly shakes himself from his thoughts when he catches my eye.
He quietly comes to stand by me, placing his hand on the small of my back and looking down at Evan whose eyes snap open as soon as Isaac’s hand has connected with my back. He looks menacing, he can’t see Isaac’s hand touching me, but he feels a disturbance in our force field. These gestures between Isaac and I have become so natural that it takes me a moment to figure out what is going on. Not Isaac though, he realizes his lapse in judgment and removes his hand at once. This isn’t good, I am in so deep with Evan I can’t even imagine what he could have to be jealous of and Isaac has quickly become my best friend second only to my husband.
Somehow I’ve got to fix this, but not right now. “I’m glad you’re awake, sir.” Isaac addresses him formally; it seems so strange to hear him talk like this. Isaac is his employee, but he’s also the closest thing to a friend Evan’s got other than me and he needs friends, whether he wants them or not. Gabriella and Simone are now on the other side of the bed; she has his other hand clasped between hers.
“Hey brother, you decided to join your own party. It’s good to see those eyes, I’m glad you’re back.” She is awarded a hint of a smile, the only one he’s given out so far. Shifting his eyes back to me, I know before he can get the word out what he needs.
“Sleep.,” he says. He looks exhausted, this small amount of interaction is more than he’s had in days, and I have to remind myself of the need for baby steps.
“Yes, baby, close your eyes, rest, I’ll be here when you wake up again. Promise.”
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