little more than a sham. Best of friends for sure, with Todd she had the best of both worlds, the look and feel of a dutiful daughter, and the freedom to live her undercover life. For this reason alone, she had to love him.
Jasi rinsed and turned off the water with a sigh. The bottom line was that she was tired of pretending to be in love with Todd so she could continue to perpetuate the lie for her parents that she was a happily heterosexual woman. Falling for Belinda had certainly complicated things big time, but it was the fall out with Livia that worried her the most. The fact that her relationship with a dear friend was teetering on the edge of collapse was bad enough, but now someone knew her secret and, intended or not, had the power to destroy the delicate balance of her life with one whisper.
While Jasi pulled on one of her âonly on Sundayâ dresses, it saddened her to think that not one person whom she professed to loveânot her parents, her boyfriend, lovers, or friends really knew Jasi Westfield. Hell, she was no longer sure she did. Her parents, now in their late seventies and ready to be grandparents, thought she was straight and would be announcing her engagement any day now; her lesbian lovers thought her to be a bisexual vagabond, while her career-driven boyfriend, Todd, loved her âfreedom rulesâ attitude, and was perfectly happy with their no-strings attached relationship. Meanwhile, her platonic girlfriends knew her to be a crazy, bold, man-eating, insatiable but loveable ho whose personal mission was to stay single and fuck her way through life. Funny thing was, Jasi was none of these things, and yet if asked, she wouldnât know exactly how to describe herself. All she could say with total honesty was that the sad phrases practiced âliar,â âlost soul,â and âemotionally exhaustedâ certainly applied in some form or fashion. But now, with the potential of having her secret life exposed, âdeathly afraidâ was applicable as well. Jas was utterly terrified of losing everything. Good, Southern Baptists, an alternate lifestyle would not be understood, let alone accepted, and it would absolutely destroy her conservative, God-fearingmother and father. Liviaâs reaction to shut down and shut her out, was as disappointing as it was hurtful, and made it clear that even the best of friends could put ideology over alliance. And what about her students and their parents? What would be their reactions to their daughters spending time in the classroom with a lesbian? For some idiotic reason, teachers were expected to live the pristine lifestyles of monks and nuns to prove themselves worthy of passing on their knowledge to the children of strangers whose family lives were usually much more dysfunctional and outrageous than any teacher she knew.
Jasi reentered the bedroom and stopped to take a long look at her lover. Opening her eyes to the new day, Belinda looked sexy as fuck with her just woke up bed hair and lazy smile. Jasi leaned over to give her a loving kiss. âGood morning,â she said after their last smooch.
âMorning, Mamà . Where are you off to so early?â
Jasi smiled. She could listen to Belinda talk forever. She loved her sexy Puerto Rican accent. Fuck, she loved everything about this damn girl!
âStaten Island to see the folks. Standing Sunday date.â
âWant me to come with you?â
âNot this week, doll, but soon, okay?â Jasi promised, knowing full well it would be months and months before sheâd ever introduce her to her Jasper and Harolyn Westfield. Maybe after her infatuation died down. When they couldnât read the love and lust her eyes held each time they fell on Belinda. And after sheâd found the guts to tell Belinda the truthâthat she lived her life deep in the closet with the rest of the pathetic skeletons.
âOkay. Iâm going back to sleep. Iâm so tired.
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