gives me. “You don’t have to tell me anything. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. You’re still pale. Sit for a while.” Peter stands and walks over to his bag, and pulls out a Hershey bar. He walks back to me and holds it out. “Here, eat this.”
I take it and sit up straighter. I’m hoping I can blame this on low blood sugar. “You carry around chocolate in your briefcase?”
He smirks as I bite into it. “Maybe. Truth is, that was going to be my dinner.”
“Oh.” I go to hand it back to him. There’s a big bite mark in it. I have a huge mouth. Peter’s hands brush against mine. Gently, he pushes the candy back to me.
“You finish it.” His hands are still on mine. Peter looks into my face, trying to catch my gaze. “What set you off? It was as if you were somewhere else for a minute.”
I don’t look at him. Shoving the candy bar in my mouth, I bite down. The chocolate tastes like sand. I can’t think about it. I try to push away the past, but I’m caught in a bear hug. The beast has left the leash. I’m speaking. I don’t know why, but I nod. “I was. I’m sorry. It reminded me of something.”
Peter squeezes my hands. I glance up at him and our eyes lock. My stomach flutters. He holds my gaze and doesn’t look away. Peter breathes, and his voice is so soft. “Can I help you?” My gaze shifts back and forth between his blue eyes. I press my lips together and fight off the emotions he’s making me feel. I can’t feel them. Not now. Not ever. I shake my head so softly that I hardly move.
A sad smile moves across Peter’s lips. “I wish I could.” I say nothing. I can’t speak. I have no voice. I just stare at his dark blue eyes. It feels as though I let the lifeboat sail away. I’m drowning in a sea of pain. He reached out, but I can’t take his hand. I can’t tell him what happened, and he can’t fix it. Even if Peter knows, no one can change the past.
A girl walks in behind him. I barely notice her. “Dr. Granz?”
Peter startles and turns around. The girl doesn’t think his behavior is strange, but Peter is too nervous. I see it. I see the way his shoulders tense, the way he slips his hands into his pockets, and the way he steps between us. She’s holding her text book, asking something about Iambic Pentameter and rhyme schemes. He tells her that neither is required for the assignment. The girl’s head nearly blows up.
Peter answers her questions as I finish my candy bar. When I’m done, I go to stand up. Peter points at me and says, “I can’t let you leave. Sit. Finish the assignment in here.”
“I’m fine,” I prote st, but my voice is wrong. It doesn’t come out when I try to speak at a normal volume.
The girl looks back at me. “You look feverish. Do you need an aspirin or something? I have one in my purse.”
“No , thanks, I’m okay.” Aspirin won’t fix what’s wrong with me.
The girl nods and walks to the door. Before she leaves, she looks back. “Better do what he says or you’ll end up in the nurse’s office overnight. I’ve done that before and it sucks. The cots are horrible.”
I nod and watch her walk away. Glancing at Peter, I say, “I’m fine. Really.”
“You’re a horrible liar. Just sit and write your poem. I won’t bother you.”
I want to say that he always bothers me. I want to say that he’s a huge distraction, but I don’t. I roll my eyes and pull out a sheet of paper. I start writing without thinking. It isn’t until I’m done that I realize what I’ve written.
I’m staring at the page when Peter looks up at me from his desk. “Done already?”
I laugh. “No. I’m going to rewrite it.” I crumple up the page and toss it. The paper sails through the air and bounces off the side of the trash can by the door, and falls on the floor. I jump out of my seat at the same time as Peter. We both head toward the paper, but Peter gets it first.
He smoothes it out. “I’m sure it’s fine. It
I take it and sit up straighter. I’m hoping I can blame this on low blood sugar. “You carry around chocolate in your briefcase?”
He smirks as I bite into it. “Maybe. Truth is, that was going to be my dinner.”
“Oh.” I go to hand it back to him. There’s a big bite mark in it. I have a huge mouth. Peter’s hands brush against mine. Gently, he pushes the candy back to me.
“You finish it.” His hands are still on mine. Peter looks into my face, trying to catch my gaze. “What set you off? It was as if you were somewhere else for a minute.”
I don’t look at him. Shoving the candy bar in my mouth, I bite down. The chocolate tastes like sand. I can’t think about it. I try to push away the past, but I’m caught in a bear hug. The beast has left the leash. I’m speaking. I don’t know why, but I nod. “I was. I’m sorry. It reminded me of something.”
Peter squeezes my hands. I glance up at him and our eyes lock. My stomach flutters. He holds my gaze and doesn’t look away. Peter breathes, and his voice is so soft. “Can I help you?” My gaze shifts back and forth between his blue eyes. I press my lips together and fight off the emotions he’s making me feel. I can’t feel them. Not now. Not ever. I shake my head so softly that I hardly move.
A sad smile moves across Peter’s lips. “I wish I could.” I say nothing. I can’t speak. I have no voice. I just stare at his dark blue eyes. It feels as though I let the lifeboat sail away. I’m drowning in a sea of pain. He reached out, but I can’t take his hand. I can’t tell him what happened, and he can’t fix it. Even if Peter knows, no one can change the past.
A girl walks in behind him. I barely notice her. “Dr. Granz?”
Peter startles and turns around. The girl doesn’t think his behavior is strange, but Peter is too nervous. I see it. I see the way his shoulders tense, the way he slips his hands into his pockets, and the way he steps between us. She’s holding her text book, asking something about Iambic Pentameter and rhyme schemes. He tells her that neither is required for the assignment. The girl’s head nearly blows up.
Peter answers her questions as I finish my candy bar. When I’m done, I go to stand up. Peter points at me and says, “I can’t let you leave. Sit. Finish the assignment in here.”
“I’m fine,” I prote st, but my voice is wrong. It doesn’t come out when I try to speak at a normal volume.
The girl looks back at me. “You look feverish. Do you need an aspirin or something? I have one in my purse.”
“No , thanks, I’m okay.” Aspirin won’t fix what’s wrong with me.
The girl nods and walks to the door. Before she leaves, she looks back. “Better do what he says or you’ll end up in the nurse’s office overnight. I’ve done that before and it sucks. The cots are horrible.”
I nod and watch her walk away. Glancing at Peter, I say, “I’m fine. Really.”
“You’re a horrible liar. Just sit and write your poem. I won’t bother you.”
I want to say that he always bothers me. I want to say that he’s a huge distraction, but I don’t. I roll my eyes and pull out a sheet of paper. I start writing without thinking. It isn’t until I’m done that I realize what I’ve written.
I’m staring at the page when Peter looks up at me from his desk. “Done already?”
I laugh. “No. I’m going to rewrite it.” I crumple up the page and toss it. The paper sails through the air and bounces off the side of the trash can by the door, and falls on the floor. I jump out of my seat at the same time as Peter. We both head toward the paper, but Peter gets it first.
He smoothes it out. “I’m sure it’s fine. It
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