Damage Control - ARC by Mary Jeddore Blakney Page B

measured it. And it depends on how small you
write, too."
    "I think I know where to find a pen that has
run beyond its ink," said Laitt. "I will try to get it today."
    "That would be great, thanks. It's kind of
hard to write with a fork."
    Laitt had never provided, directly, for a
Human's sexual needs before, and wasn't sure how to proceed. She
decided to start by talking. "Is it hard to be without other
Humans?"
    Jade bowed her head and seemed to be staring
at her feet. "My family doesn't even know if I'm alive or
dead."
    "I cannot help you communicate with them,"
Laitt said as gently as she could manage. "But perhaps I can help
fix your other needs."
    "What, like a dry pen?"
    "I will look for a dry pen later today, when
I leave you," Laitt said. "Now, since your friends are not here,
perhaps I can substitute for them."
    "Oh, that's very nice of you," the Human
said, but she didn't smile.
    "What do you enjoy most to do when you are
with a friend?"
    "Oh, I don't know. Skiing, going to a
baseball game, going to the beach."
    The only part of that, that Laitt understood,
was the part about going. She hoped they were activities that could
be done in Jade's quarters, or at least in a secure part of the
keev-ship. "Which one is your favorite?"
    The Human thought for a moment before
answering. "I can't pick," she said at last. "I just like them all.
It depends on the time of year."
    "What do you do at this time of year?"
    "Stack firewood, usually."
    "You enjoy this?"
    Jade laughed, just a little. "No, but I have
a friend who loves it. So we stack hers, and then we stack mine.
It's not so bad doing it together, and it goes faster."
    This task was proving more difficult than
Laitt had anticipated. She tried a new angle. "What do you like to
do with your husband?"
    "Oh, I'm not married. You're married,
right?"
    "Yes, our anti-fertilization failed."
    "Anti-fertilization," Jade repeated. "Oh, you
must mean birth control. Do you have a child?"
    "Yes. I told you I am married."
    "Married means you have a husband—or a wife,
maybe. It doesn't mean you have a child."
    "How can I have a husband unless I have an
egg first?"
    "In my culture, we usually get married first
and then have children."
    "I understand. This is because you incubate
your eggs inside your bodies."
    "I don't think that has anything to do with
it. We just get married, and then we decide if we want to have
children."
    "I don't understand. How is it possible to be
married if there is no child?"
    "Because it's two different things. Marriage
is when you love each other and make the commitment to live your
life together. Having a child is, well, having a child."
    "I think that we have nothing like a Human
marriage," Laitt said. "For us, when there is an egg, the father
and mother live together to raise the child. That is all."
    "Are you saying that on your planet, nobody
gets married?"
    "No, many people get married. Almost everyone
get marrieds when the wife lays an egg."
    "Oh, so you lay an egg, and then you move in
together, and then you get married?"
    "I don't know what is get married for your
people. For my people, to have an egg and raise it together is to
get married."
    "What about love, though?" Jade asked.
    "Love is very important. I think that on all
the planets, always love is very important."
    Laitt had run out of time to help Jade with
her sexual needs, for now. She had her appointment with Colonel
Elwood Rocco, and would have to help Jade later.
    The colonel entered the conference room with
a young man in a tan uniform.
    He didn't waste any time. "We have plenty of
toilets," he said. "We are requesting chairs."
    "What is the difference between toilets and
chairs?" Laitt asked.
    "A toilet deals with bodily waste in a
sanitary manner," the young man translated, "whereas a chair is
just a piece of furniture for shitting in." The translator seemed
to have a slight speech impediment, or possibly a regional
accent.
    "I hear you saying one message two times,"
Laitt