Dads: A gay couple's surrogacy journey in India by Hans M. Hirschi Page B
Authors: Hans M. Hirschi
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got the preliminary results last Wednesday in an e-mail, but I've put off blogging about it because I really wanted to see the detailed report to be able to make more sense of the numbers (although I have no real clue what I'm looking for). I am more than a little bit disappointed that we still haven't received the report, I really am. Here's why:
We seem to have a twin pregnancy. Both Alex and I were through the roof with the news, until I read the e-mail in more detail.
“The scan reveals non-identical twin fetuses which correspond to the weeks of gestation. Fetus A shows bradycardia hence the doctors will be giving her hCG to support the growth. The cardiac activity of Fetus B is well maintained. The rest of the scan findings are well within normal range.”
So we have one fetus with a lower heart rate than what is normal at this stage. Naturally we are worried sick. When you google bradycardia , you learn that the seriousness of the affliction really depends on the actual heart rate, and not having seen the report, we really don't know how bad it is.
If the heart rate is just slightly too low, it doesn't have to mean anything, but if the heart rate is really low, then it is a clear sign that the fetus isn't going to make it.
I did ask the doctors and their response was that it might be a sign of “ vanishing twin syndrome .” Which, of course, threw me completely off course when I read it, because that made me think that A was an identical twin where one of the twins was being absorbed. Apparently, I was wrong and the doctor was referring to A was being the twin (of B…)
Needless to say that Alex and I are worried sick at this point, not knowing how serious the bradycardia is and if we are going to lose one of the fetuses.
Finding the right words to put this in writing hasn't been easy, after all, this is a "life & death" issue. I get really defensive about losing this “life” (particularly given the recent global debate about abortion at the RNC) and the anxiousness of not knowing what is going on is extremely stressful, and we feel slightly abandoned by Mumbai right now at this critical junction. We were so looking forward to these photos and it's been five days since we should've gotten the report and we still wait… It's excruciatingly painful.
The next ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday, and we naturally hope for the best. We hope that the hCG treatment does the trick and that A recovers. We hope that the doctors were wrong, we hope that it will all work out, and you know what they say, hope is the last thing that'll abandon you… Yet right now I feel abandoned!
September 5, 2012: First image
Here you are! Your dad and I couldn't be more proud, although, I'd have to lie if I pretended to understand much of what I see on the images…
The very first picture we have of you… guys...
The pics are shaky and I can't really see that much, so even zooming in doesn't make it better, quite the contrary, seems the image is best viewed just as it is to the left.
Fact is that we have two embryos in somewhat different stages of development (how that is possible given they were conceived on the same day is for the experts to explain). A being 0.31 cm long, corresponding to 5w6d and B being 0.65 cm long, corresponding to 6w4d.
The really worrying part is, of course, the bradycardia I spoke about yesterday. It seems the heart rate is only 81 bpm (beats per minute), which is significantly below the ~110 bpm that experts expect in a fetus at this stage and I guess the size of the embryo says something, too.
But we continue to hear good things from friends who tell us not to worry, that the beta hCG treatment will do wonders and that all will be fine.
What parent wouldn't opt to believe that?
Right now, we hope and hope and hope for the best, and here's a message to our two little ones there in Mumbai: your dads think about you every waking minute and we want you to know how precious
We seem to have a twin pregnancy. Both Alex and I were through the roof with the news, until I read the e-mail in more detail.
“The scan reveals non-identical twin fetuses which correspond to the weeks of gestation. Fetus A shows bradycardia hence the doctors will be giving her hCG to support the growth. The cardiac activity of Fetus B is well maintained. The rest of the scan findings are well within normal range.”
So we have one fetus with a lower heart rate than what is normal at this stage. Naturally we are worried sick. When you google bradycardia , you learn that the seriousness of the affliction really depends on the actual heart rate, and not having seen the report, we really don't know how bad it is.
If the heart rate is just slightly too low, it doesn't have to mean anything, but if the heart rate is really low, then it is a clear sign that the fetus isn't going to make it.
I did ask the doctors and their response was that it might be a sign of “ vanishing twin syndrome .” Which, of course, threw me completely off course when I read it, because that made me think that A was an identical twin where one of the twins was being absorbed. Apparently, I was wrong and the doctor was referring to A was being the twin (of B…)
Needless to say that Alex and I are worried sick at this point, not knowing how serious the bradycardia is and if we are going to lose one of the fetuses.
Finding the right words to put this in writing hasn't been easy, after all, this is a "life & death" issue. I get really defensive about losing this “life” (particularly given the recent global debate about abortion at the RNC) and the anxiousness of not knowing what is going on is extremely stressful, and we feel slightly abandoned by Mumbai right now at this critical junction. We were so looking forward to these photos and it's been five days since we should've gotten the report and we still wait… It's excruciatingly painful.
The next ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday, and we naturally hope for the best. We hope that the hCG treatment does the trick and that A recovers. We hope that the doctors were wrong, we hope that it will all work out, and you know what they say, hope is the last thing that'll abandon you… Yet right now I feel abandoned!
September 5, 2012: First image
Here you are! Your dad and I couldn't be more proud, although, I'd have to lie if I pretended to understand much of what I see on the images…
The very first picture we have of you… guys...
The pics are shaky and I can't really see that much, so even zooming in doesn't make it better, quite the contrary, seems the image is best viewed just as it is to the left.
Fact is that we have two embryos in somewhat different stages of development (how that is possible given they were conceived on the same day is for the experts to explain). A being 0.31 cm long, corresponding to 5w6d and B being 0.65 cm long, corresponding to 6w4d.
The really worrying part is, of course, the bradycardia I spoke about yesterday. It seems the heart rate is only 81 bpm (beats per minute), which is significantly below the ~110 bpm that experts expect in a fetus at this stage and I guess the size of the embryo says something, too.
But we continue to hear good things from friends who tell us not to worry, that the beta hCG treatment will do wonders and that all will be fine.
What parent wouldn't opt to believe that?
Right now, we hope and hope and hope for the best, and here's a message to our two little ones there in Mumbai: your dads think about you every waking minute and we want you to know how precious
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