see Thelma, and I took Ashley and Bernie to my room. Bernie opened the math book and began to talk about the new problems immediately. I listened and nodded when he asked if I understood.
Ashley sat on my bed and watched us work. When his explanations ended, Bernie sat at my computer.
"So when is the funeral?" he asked.
"In the morning. There won't be many people there. Karl's father isn't able to travel, and his brother in Albany can't get away. His younger brother is at sea. None of Thelma's cousins are coming Some of my grandparents' older friends will be there."
"And my mother will be there," Ashley said quickly. "She won't let me. She says I have to go to school."
"She's right," Bernie said. "School is more important. Funerals are really unnecessary."
"Unnecessary? How can you say that?" Ashley asked.
"When someone dies, it's over. There's no point in wasting any more time about it."
"That's a horrible thing to say," Ashley declared. "You have to pay respect."
"To what? The person's gone. You're better off saying good-bye to a picture," he remarked. "I hated going to my grandfather's funeral. There was a big party afterward, full of people who really never knew him It was just an excuse for a party."
"We're not having anything afterward," I said. "Good," Bernie said.
"That's cruel, Bernie Felder," Ashley charged.
"I'm just being realistic," he said. "When you die, you return to some form of energy, and that energy goes into something else. That's it."
"What else?" Ashley asked, her eyebrows hoisted so high they were practically in the middle of her forehead.
"I don't know. Maybe. . . a plant or a bug."
"A bug! Crystal, you don't believe that, do you?"
"I don't know what I believe," I said. "Sometimes I imagine my real mother is with me, her spirit, but then I think that's silly."
"It's not silly. It's beautiful," Ashley said. "I'm not going to be any bug, Bernie Felder. Maybe you are."
"Maybe," Bernie said casually.
"You don't care?"
"Why should I care? I won't know anything different," he said, and Ashley groaned.
"I swear," she said. "Scientists are the most boring people. I hate the subject, especially
experiments with all those smelly chemicals and dead worms. Experiments make me sick."
"I bet I can think of an experiment you'd like. How about an experiment to find out what kind of kisses we like best?" I asked her, thinking she'd call my bluff.
"Crystal!" she said, shifting her eyes to Bernie.
"What kind of experiment?" he asked excitedly.
I made up an experiment that was almost like a contest--judging the best kiss. He listened and nodded without laughing. Ashley's face turned pink when I turned to ask if she was willing to join in.
"Interesting," Bernie said. "I don't see how it's really scientific . . ." He thought a moment and then nodded at me. "But I'd like to be part of it."
"Good," I said.
"What?" Ashley cried. "Crystal, I thought you were just kidding!"
"Don't be chicken, Ashley," Bernie said. "It's not like we're doing anything serious--just kissing?'
"But I don't want to be judged against Crystal . I've never kissed a boy before!" she cried, turning to me for help.
I wanted to make Ashley feel better and tell her I'd never kissed a boy, either, but I wanted to keep my inexperience from Bernie. "You'll have to swear to keep this a secret. You know what someone like Helga would do if she found out."
Ashley looked at Bernie and then at me apprehensively.
"You're not going to get pregnant or anything like that," Bernie promised. "You're just going to discover more about yourself, and it will be knowledge that will make you wiser, stronger. That's the purpose and power of knowledge."
"He's right," I said. "Okay?"
"Maybe," Ashley said. "I'll see," she added cautiously, but I could tell she was almost as intrigued about it as we were.
Bernie volunteered to set up what he called the control procedures. He said we would be more secure if we met at his house. With some reluctance, Ashley agreed.
"This is like
Ashley sat on my bed and watched us work. When his explanations ended, Bernie sat at my computer.
"So when is the funeral?" he asked.
"In the morning. There won't be many people there. Karl's father isn't able to travel, and his brother in Albany can't get away. His younger brother is at sea. None of Thelma's cousins are coming Some of my grandparents' older friends will be there."
"And my mother will be there," Ashley said quickly. "She won't let me. She says I have to go to school."
"She's right," Bernie said. "School is more important. Funerals are really unnecessary."
"Unnecessary? How can you say that?" Ashley asked.
"When someone dies, it's over. There's no point in wasting any more time about it."
"That's a horrible thing to say," Ashley declared. "You have to pay respect."
"To what? The person's gone. You're better off saying good-bye to a picture," he remarked. "I hated going to my grandfather's funeral. There was a big party afterward, full of people who really never knew him It was just an excuse for a party."
"We're not having anything afterward," I said. "Good," Bernie said.
"That's cruel, Bernie Felder," Ashley charged.
"I'm just being realistic," he said. "When you die, you return to some form of energy, and that energy goes into something else. That's it."
"What else?" Ashley asked, her eyebrows hoisted so high they were practically in the middle of her forehead.
"I don't know. Maybe. . . a plant or a bug."
"A bug! Crystal, you don't believe that, do you?"
"I don't know what I believe," I said. "Sometimes I imagine my real mother is with me, her spirit, but then I think that's silly."
"It's not silly. It's beautiful," Ashley said. "I'm not going to be any bug, Bernie Felder. Maybe you are."
"Maybe," Bernie said casually.
"You don't care?"
"Why should I care? I won't know anything different," he said, and Ashley groaned.
"I swear," she said. "Scientists are the most boring people. I hate the subject, especially
experiments with all those smelly chemicals and dead worms. Experiments make me sick."
"I bet I can think of an experiment you'd like. How about an experiment to find out what kind of kisses we like best?" I asked her, thinking she'd call my bluff.
"Crystal!" she said, shifting her eyes to Bernie.
"What kind of experiment?" he asked excitedly.
I made up an experiment that was almost like a contest--judging the best kiss. He listened and nodded without laughing. Ashley's face turned pink when I turned to ask if she was willing to join in.
"Interesting," Bernie said. "I don't see how it's really scientific . . ." He thought a moment and then nodded at me. "But I'd like to be part of it."
"Good," I said.
"What?" Ashley cried. "Crystal, I thought you were just kidding!"
"Don't be chicken, Ashley," Bernie said. "It's not like we're doing anything serious--just kissing?'
"But I don't want to be judged against Crystal . I've never kissed a boy before!" she cried, turning to me for help.
I wanted to make Ashley feel better and tell her I'd never kissed a boy, either, but I wanted to keep my inexperience from Bernie. "You'll have to swear to keep this a secret. You know what someone like Helga would do if she found out."
Ashley looked at Bernie and then at me apprehensively.
"You're not going to get pregnant or anything like that," Bernie promised. "You're just going to discover more about yourself, and it will be knowledge that will make you wiser, stronger. That's the purpose and power of knowledge."
"He's right," I said. "Okay?"
"Maybe," Ashley said. "I'll see," she added cautiously, but I could tell she was almost as intrigued about it as we were.
Bernie volunteered to set up what he called the control procedures. He said we would be more secure if we met at his house. With some reluctance, Ashley agreed.
"This is like
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