sit at the pool’s edge and time wriggles through my fingers, as the sun oozes out of sight, as golden-red light settles over everything, he smiles, endlessly, his eyes far awayas he pretends to be acutelyinterested in the yellow pool raft floating at the far end of the pool. He smiles, biting his soft, poutylower lip, swirling his feet through the water, sending ripples of imperfection across the glassysurface, ripples of pleasure through everycell of mybody.
The moments tick by, and I’m afraid of what I’m feeling tonight, what I’ve been feeling since the beginning of the year. I’m paying all of myattention to Jamie.And I’m not being verydiscreet about it. Now and then, I look up and around, expecting to see Ray, Stacy, Benny or Yvette gawking at my conspicuous behavior…I’m ignoring most everyone except Jamie Pearce.
But Ray is busy salivating over Stacy’s tits and the newlyweds are sucking face behind one of the jasmine bushes over bythe rot-iron gate.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Time passes faster than I want it to. We go back in the water again and again, our bodies slicing through the depths, our hands walking over the grainy blue of the bottom, keeping each other in close proximity. When we resurface, he’s so close that his arms go around myshoulders…
His eyes paralyze me…
And he makes no effort to take his arms down…
He’s so close…too close…
I want to kiss him.
He’s trembling. I’m trembling.
Does he know how close I am…?
I see three terrifying words in his eyes as he stares up at me…
I’m afraid of the fact that I’ve fallen in love with him. I don’t want to go to L.A.
Afew minutes after I’ve grabbed my clothes and fled Ray’s barbeque, I’m sitting in my car, crying and despising myself for running. As I struggle to shove my damp body into my dry clothes behind my steering wheel, I see the front porch sensor throw a glow over Ray’s front yard and driveway, and Jamie’s little silhouette walks over to where Stacy’s car is parked. He rocks on his feet, facing away from me, peering into the dark glass windows.
I should have driven awayten minutes ago!
He’s a magnet and I’m a piece of iron. I close my car door silently, sneak up to him, grab him from behind, myhand muffling his cry of fright. “You really can’t remember the day we met?” I murmur into his ear.
“In-in-in th-the st-st-store?”
“Yes…”
“No…I can’t…I-I-I’m sorry…”
I turn him around in my arms, lift him to sit on the hood of Stacy’s car, settle my hands over his shoulders. I can see him trembling in the sparse light, his eyes dewy, his nose red.
“Have you been crying?” I ask.
He shakes his head, his mouth quivering invitingly. Can he see I’ve been crying? Tearfully he whispers, “I have a crush on you…”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Big crush?”
“Verybig…yes…”
“You love me?”
“Yes,” he nods.
It bursts quietly from my heart, like a bullet. “I love you too…” Myarms press him closer to me. “I kissed your cheek,” I murmur, and he moans softlyas I brush mylips over the creamypink curve, surprised I’m not tasting the candy coating of licorice there. “And you kissed mymouth…Kiss me…”
He’s about to rattle himself right off of Stacy’s car.
“Please, kiss me…”
“I don’t know how,” he says, his lips trembling, smiling, grimacing in joyous angst.
“You don’t have to know how,” I plead. “Just kiss me.”
He touches his mouth to mine, and instantly, fireworks of every conceivable color explode within me. I can’t stay passive for more than a second. My mouth grabs his, and I probe him impatiently, his taste, his texture, his softness, as I suck and pull at his lips with my own. If he’s new at kissing, it doesn’t take him long to learn how to kiss me back. We converse without words, my deep sighs of bliss mingling with his soft, high cries of shock and delight. I’m already on the verge of popping my cork. I pull away
The moments tick by, and I’m afraid of what I’m feeling tonight, what I’ve been feeling since the beginning of the year. I’m paying all of myattention to Jamie.And I’m not being verydiscreet about it. Now and then, I look up and around, expecting to see Ray, Stacy, Benny or Yvette gawking at my conspicuous behavior…I’m ignoring most everyone except Jamie Pearce.
But Ray is busy salivating over Stacy’s tits and the newlyweds are sucking face behind one of the jasmine bushes over bythe rot-iron gate.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Time passes faster than I want it to. We go back in the water again and again, our bodies slicing through the depths, our hands walking over the grainy blue of the bottom, keeping each other in close proximity. When we resurface, he’s so close that his arms go around myshoulders…
His eyes paralyze me…
And he makes no effort to take his arms down…
He’s so close…too close…
I want to kiss him.
He’s trembling. I’m trembling.
Does he know how close I am…?
I see three terrifying words in his eyes as he stares up at me…
I’m afraid of the fact that I’ve fallen in love with him. I don’t want to go to L.A.
Afew minutes after I’ve grabbed my clothes and fled Ray’s barbeque, I’m sitting in my car, crying and despising myself for running. As I struggle to shove my damp body into my dry clothes behind my steering wheel, I see the front porch sensor throw a glow over Ray’s front yard and driveway, and Jamie’s little silhouette walks over to where Stacy’s car is parked. He rocks on his feet, facing away from me, peering into the dark glass windows.
I should have driven awayten minutes ago!
He’s a magnet and I’m a piece of iron. I close my car door silently, sneak up to him, grab him from behind, myhand muffling his cry of fright. “You really can’t remember the day we met?” I murmur into his ear.
“In-in-in th-the st-st-store?”
“Yes…”
“No…I can’t…I-I-I’m sorry…”
I turn him around in my arms, lift him to sit on the hood of Stacy’s car, settle my hands over his shoulders. I can see him trembling in the sparse light, his eyes dewy, his nose red.
“Have you been crying?” I ask.
He shakes his head, his mouth quivering invitingly. Can he see I’ve been crying? Tearfully he whispers, “I have a crush on you…”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Big crush?”
“Verybig…yes…”
“You love me?”
“Yes,” he nods.
It bursts quietly from my heart, like a bullet. “I love you too…” Myarms press him closer to me. “I kissed your cheek,” I murmur, and he moans softlyas I brush mylips over the creamypink curve, surprised I’m not tasting the candy coating of licorice there. “And you kissed mymouth…Kiss me…”
He’s about to rattle himself right off of Stacy’s car.
“Please, kiss me…”
“I don’t know how,” he says, his lips trembling, smiling, grimacing in joyous angst.
“You don’t have to know how,” I plead. “Just kiss me.”
He touches his mouth to mine, and instantly, fireworks of every conceivable color explode within me. I can’t stay passive for more than a second. My mouth grabs his, and I probe him impatiently, his taste, his texture, his softness, as I suck and pull at his lips with my own. If he’s new at kissing, it doesn’t take him long to learn how to kiss me back. We converse without words, my deep sighs of bliss mingling with his soft, high cries of shock and delight. I’m already on the verge of popping my cork. I pull away
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