get married. But then shit happens and suddenly everything's different. You don't even recognize yourself, you blink and your life is sliding through your hands like sand, and you just can't hold on."
Julia sat still, watching him, and he sat looking through the table. The music and hubbub of the bar seemed to be coming from a room far, far away. Finally she spoke. "I... well, I think you're making a change now, you know? I mean, being here. You're trying to find him. That means something. I don't know what's going on in New York, but I know if Henry knew you were out here looking for him, he'd be... pleased, I guess. Right?"
Thomas looked up and met her eyes. They were a strange green, dark but seeming to glitter in the light. He expected her to look away, but she didn't. She hesitated, and then leaned forward.
"My mother left us when I was little--" began Julia, and then stopped abruptly as Buck strode up and suddenly loomed over the table.
"This'll get the party started," he said, and set down three beers and three shot glasses filled with clear liquid.
"Whoa," said Thomas, leaning back. "You serious? What is that?"
"These," said Buck, pushing a shot glass across the table toward Julia and Thomas, "are double shots of tequila. You drink them, and then you chase them with the beers. Understood?"
"What about the limes and salt?" asked Julia.
"We don' need no steenkin' limes," said Buck, grinning. "C'mon. Be glad I didn't get us some prairie fires. Here we go!"
The three of them up-ended the shots, and then grabbed the beers and swallowed quickly. Julia grimaced as she put her beer down, lowering her chin to her chest and pressing the back of her wrist to her mouth, while Buck just smacked his lips and slid in next to them.
"Hoo-whee! Now we're talking." He looked from one to the other. "So what's up, guys? What is up?"
"You," said Thomas, "Are getting drunk."
"Why yes, yes I am." Buck smiled widely, showing a lot of teeth. "But that is the point, my friend. Now, what were you two little love birds talking about?"
"We're not love birds," said Thomas, staring at Buck.
"Hey, whatever man. Give it time. Either that, or slide aside. What do you say, Julia? Want to do another shot with me?"
"No," she said. "I think I'm done." She was still grimacing.
"You okay?" asked Thomas.
"I swallowed it wrong. Excuse me," said Julia, and quickly edged out from the booth to dive into the crowd.
"Eesh. I thought she'd be able to hold her drinks better," said Buck, shaking his head.
Suddenly the whole night seemed wrong to Thomas. The thought of more drinks and staying in this loud bar was intolerable. He thought of Henry, and shook his head. "Man, who knows how many she had before we arrived? She's already had like five beers just with us."
"Oh, yeah. Huh. You think I shouldn't have bought the shots? My bad, amigo . "
"I don't know." Thomas sat back, and closed his eyes. He felt exhausted. "I'm sorry. I'm just not in the right headspace to enjoy this. You mind if we get out of here?"
"Yeah, sure, Thomas, sure. You think we should make sure Julia gets home?"
Thomas nodded. "Yeah. Let's make sure she's okay, then we can call her a cab."
"Yeah, okay. I'll go close the tab, and then we can get out of here."
Thomas nodded. Exhaustion was swallowing him whole, settling over his shoulders like a cape of lead. He felt as if he could go to sleep right there. Just go to sleep, and let all the noise and complications slide away into nothing.
Chapter 10
They were silent the next morning as they rolled down the streets toward Eric's house. Hollow homes filed past, made of broken boards and topped off with rotten roofs, the car moving with velvety smoothness over the potholes and miniature chasms which covered the surface of the road. The sky was overcast, pale and chalky white like the inside of an old iron kettle, and Thomas felt it pushing down on them, a ceiling that would descend and smother them when they weren't
Julia sat still, watching him, and he sat looking through the table. The music and hubbub of the bar seemed to be coming from a room far, far away. Finally she spoke. "I... well, I think you're making a change now, you know? I mean, being here. You're trying to find him. That means something. I don't know what's going on in New York, but I know if Henry knew you were out here looking for him, he'd be... pleased, I guess. Right?"
Thomas looked up and met her eyes. They were a strange green, dark but seeming to glitter in the light. He expected her to look away, but she didn't. She hesitated, and then leaned forward.
"My mother left us when I was little--" began Julia, and then stopped abruptly as Buck strode up and suddenly loomed over the table.
"This'll get the party started," he said, and set down three beers and three shot glasses filled with clear liquid.
"Whoa," said Thomas, leaning back. "You serious? What is that?"
"These," said Buck, pushing a shot glass across the table toward Julia and Thomas, "are double shots of tequila. You drink them, and then you chase them with the beers. Understood?"
"What about the limes and salt?" asked Julia.
"We don' need no steenkin' limes," said Buck, grinning. "C'mon. Be glad I didn't get us some prairie fires. Here we go!"
The three of them up-ended the shots, and then grabbed the beers and swallowed quickly. Julia grimaced as she put her beer down, lowering her chin to her chest and pressing the back of her wrist to her mouth, while Buck just smacked his lips and slid in next to them.
"Hoo-whee! Now we're talking." He looked from one to the other. "So what's up, guys? What is up?"
"You," said Thomas, "Are getting drunk."
"Why yes, yes I am." Buck smiled widely, showing a lot of teeth. "But that is the point, my friend. Now, what were you two little love birds talking about?"
"We're not love birds," said Thomas, staring at Buck.
"Hey, whatever man. Give it time. Either that, or slide aside. What do you say, Julia? Want to do another shot with me?"
"No," she said. "I think I'm done." She was still grimacing.
"You okay?" asked Thomas.
"I swallowed it wrong. Excuse me," said Julia, and quickly edged out from the booth to dive into the crowd.
"Eesh. I thought she'd be able to hold her drinks better," said Buck, shaking his head.
Suddenly the whole night seemed wrong to Thomas. The thought of more drinks and staying in this loud bar was intolerable. He thought of Henry, and shook his head. "Man, who knows how many she had before we arrived? She's already had like five beers just with us."
"Oh, yeah. Huh. You think I shouldn't have bought the shots? My bad, amigo . "
"I don't know." Thomas sat back, and closed his eyes. He felt exhausted. "I'm sorry. I'm just not in the right headspace to enjoy this. You mind if we get out of here?"
"Yeah, sure, Thomas, sure. You think we should make sure Julia gets home?"
Thomas nodded. "Yeah. Let's make sure she's okay, then we can call her a cab."
"Yeah, okay. I'll go close the tab, and then we can get out of here."
Thomas nodded. Exhaustion was swallowing him whole, settling over his shoulders like a cape of lead. He felt as if he could go to sleep right there. Just go to sleep, and let all the noise and complications slide away into nothing.
Chapter 10
They were silent the next morning as they rolled down the streets toward Eric's house. Hollow homes filed past, made of broken boards and topped off with rotten roofs, the car moving with velvety smoothness over the potholes and miniature chasms which covered the surface of the road. The sky was overcast, pale and chalky white like the inside of an old iron kettle, and Thomas felt it pushing down on them, a ceiling that would descend and smother them when they weren't
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