Cowboy Town by Kasey Millstead Page A

I did, too.
    We spend the next couple of hours asking questions back and forth and getting to know each other better.  We ask silly questions such as favorite color, as well as more serious questions.  I find out that Jackson’s favorite chocolate is Snickers, his favorite color is blue, and the station has been in his family for over a hundred years; it was passed onto him and Jeremy by his parents when they retired.  He built this house five years ago, while Jeremy and Oscar live a few kilometers away in the house the boys grew up in.  I still haven’t got around to asking about Dannika.
    “So, I’ve been thinking about your earlier question,” Jackson murmurs.  Somehow, during our conversation, we’ve inched close to each other and now, our thighs our touching lightly and there a dull current of electricity running up and down my leg making it hard for me to concentrate.
    “Oh?  What question?”
    “You wanting to see more of the property.  I was thinking, you stay the night, I’ll take you out and about tomorrow, maybe even take you up in one the choppers, if you want.”
    “Uh,” I baulk.  I’m not sure about staying overnight.  I mean, of course I would love to.  I never want to leave this place.  But something is stopping me.  I close my eyes and hear Jules’ voice in my head,
    You know it deep down, Edie, but you’re too scared to admit it.  Jackson is the type of guy you could fall in love with.  My best friend a couple of years ago would have jumped right in feet first, knowing that even if the ride turned to shit, she still enjoyed it with no regrets.  You miss that ride, sweetie, you’re going to have regrets.  It might turn bad, it might not, you’ll never know unless you try and from what I seen last night and from what you’ve told me, he’s got it just as bad for you.  The only difference is, he isn’t afraid to admit it.
    She’s so right.  She knows me better than I know myself.  I can’t remember exactly when it was that I lost myself, or if there was a defining moment, but I can’t deny it.  I did lose myself.  The person I was is not the person I am today.  The good thing is I can feel some of her starting to come back.  Edie a few years ago would never have baulked at being asked by Jackson to spend the night. 
    “I need to know about Dannika,” I say meeting his eyes.
    “Whatever you want to know,” he states immediately.
    Well, I wasn’t expecting that reaction.  “Uh, are you two together?  That first night I met you, she seemed to think you were cheating on her …” I trail off.
    “Dannika and I were together for about a year.  She spent that time accusing me of cheating on her – something I never did, or would do.  I’m not a cheater and never have been.  I spent that time reassuring her that I was not and would not cheat on her.  I got sick of constantly explaining where I’d been, what I’d been doing and who I was doing it with.  I also got fed up with being accused of something I wouldn’t do, but despite how many times I told her, she still didn’t believe me.  The other week when she came storming into the pub, we weren’t together.  We’d discussed getting back together, she promised she’d changed, she begged me for a second chance so I said I’d think about it.  I didn’t want to get back with her because I didn’t believe she’d changed and to be honest, our relationship was not based on love - from either side .  For me, it was convenience, and I know that sounds harsh but it’s true. For her, I have no idea, but I have a feeling she wanted to be a farmer’s wife and live a life of luxury.    With that stunt she pulled, she proved me right; she hadn’t changed.  I took her outside, we sat and talked and I told her that I’d never get back with her because, among other things I’d found out where her insecurities come from.  See, she constantly accused me of cheating so that I wouldn’t cotton on to