dressing me for another night with Roc. I wasn’t so boojie that I required a stylist every time that I went on a date. However, like our first date, tonight was special, so I wanted to look my best.
“You know what him cooking you dinner at his house means, right?”
I assumed; that was why I wanted to look my best, but I played dumb just to be entertained by Courtney's commentary. “I think it means that he wants to be nice and cook his girlfriend dinner… No?”
Courtney sucked his teeth. “Hell no! It means that he wants to have sex with you!”
I pretended to play with my curls in the mirror in order to hide my blushing from Courtney.
Yet, he was too busy busting my balls to see it. “I can’t believe you have been making that man wait for four months.”
“I haven’t made him wait.”
“Then what’s the hold up?”
“I’m scared!” I admitted. “Things are so good between us. They are perfect, actually. Sex complicates things and makes them messy. It would break my heart if things changed between us.”
“Well, if you’re scared to have sex and don’t want to, take your Bible with you.”
A loud laugh ran fugitive from my throat. “My Bible? Why?”
“Yes, and keep it near you, that way you won’t take your clothes off. It’s hard to take your clothes off with Jesus in the room.”
Needless to say, I was cracking up.
Courtney smiled devilishly. “I know why you’re scared to give him the cookies… You know that once he gives it to you, your head is going to pop off!”
“Whatever, Courtney!”
“Seriously! That man looks like he can lay some pipe , hunny!”
I sighed deeply to control the butterflies in my stomach as the truth of my fears created chill bumps all over my skin.
I was very aware of Roc’s potential in the bedroom. He was beyond passionate without even touching me. He signaled orgasms within me with his words or a simple kiss. I could only imagine what he could do to me once he was literally inside of me.
I was really scared to death of having sex with this man. His power was unsettling. In his presence, I was like putty. I had no control of my usually strong, stubborn emotions. The fact that he had power over my emotions without ever penetrating me was frightening. Scarier was the fact that, since I had so prematurely given myself to him emotionally, he also had the power to hurt me. Yet, unlike any other man in my life, he never did. He had never hurt me, so I also knew that I had nothing to fear… besides falling so in love that there was no turning back.
“Look at you.” I looked at Courtney through the full length mirror. He was sitting on the couch smiling at me. It wasn’t a teasing smile this time. He was admiring me. “You want you some of that man.”
“Whatever,” I shied away.
“Don’t whatever me, girl! You know you want some of that cock .”
I spun around. “Ewe! Cock?”
“What? That’s what they call it. They don’t say, ‘Take this dick.’ They say…” Then his usual feminine voice dropped to an octave that I had never heard it. “... ‘Take this cock .’”
We both started cracking up!
“Don’t you ever drop your voice that low again. It’s creepy,” I warned through laughs so hard, that I was bent over and heaving. “Have you ever slept with a White man?”
He smiled wickedly as he waved a finger in the air. “I have, as a matter of fact… Once… He was the landlord and the rent was due… Now I own the building, girl!”
I shook my head. “You’re so crazy. Anyway , it’s not all about sex with me and Roc. We have an emotional connection that’s deeper than sex.”
We did. Our moments together were so damn intimate that we didn’t need to have sex. I think that’s why for four months it hadn't happened yet. Sometimes I wondered why he hadn’t at least tried, but, like I had grown to learn to do, I trusted him when it came to me and us.
Rolling his eyes, Courtney told me, “That’s real cute and
“You know what him cooking you dinner at his house means, right?”
I assumed; that was why I wanted to look my best, but I played dumb just to be entertained by Courtney's commentary. “I think it means that he wants to be nice and cook his girlfriend dinner… No?”
Courtney sucked his teeth. “Hell no! It means that he wants to have sex with you!”
I pretended to play with my curls in the mirror in order to hide my blushing from Courtney.
Yet, he was too busy busting my balls to see it. “I can’t believe you have been making that man wait for four months.”
“I haven’t made him wait.”
“Then what’s the hold up?”
“I’m scared!” I admitted. “Things are so good between us. They are perfect, actually. Sex complicates things and makes them messy. It would break my heart if things changed between us.”
“Well, if you’re scared to have sex and don’t want to, take your Bible with you.”
A loud laugh ran fugitive from my throat. “My Bible? Why?”
“Yes, and keep it near you, that way you won’t take your clothes off. It’s hard to take your clothes off with Jesus in the room.”
Needless to say, I was cracking up.
Courtney smiled devilishly. “I know why you’re scared to give him the cookies… You know that once he gives it to you, your head is going to pop off!”
“Whatever, Courtney!”
“Seriously! That man looks like he can lay some pipe , hunny!”
I sighed deeply to control the butterflies in my stomach as the truth of my fears created chill bumps all over my skin.
I was very aware of Roc’s potential in the bedroom. He was beyond passionate without even touching me. He signaled orgasms within me with his words or a simple kiss. I could only imagine what he could do to me once he was literally inside of me.
I was really scared to death of having sex with this man. His power was unsettling. In his presence, I was like putty. I had no control of my usually strong, stubborn emotions. The fact that he had power over my emotions without ever penetrating me was frightening. Scarier was the fact that, since I had so prematurely given myself to him emotionally, he also had the power to hurt me. Yet, unlike any other man in my life, he never did. He had never hurt me, so I also knew that I had nothing to fear… besides falling so in love that there was no turning back.
“Look at you.” I looked at Courtney through the full length mirror. He was sitting on the couch smiling at me. It wasn’t a teasing smile this time. He was admiring me. “You want you some of that man.”
“Whatever,” I shied away.
“Don’t whatever me, girl! You know you want some of that cock .”
I spun around. “Ewe! Cock?”
“What? That’s what they call it. They don’t say, ‘Take this dick.’ They say…” Then his usual feminine voice dropped to an octave that I had never heard it. “... ‘Take this cock .’”
We both started cracking up!
“Don’t you ever drop your voice that low again. It’s creepy,” I warned through laughs so hard, that I was bent over and heaving. “Have you ever slept with a White man?”
He smiled wickedly as he waved a finger in the air. “I have, as a matter of fact… Once… He was the landlord and the rent was due… Now I own the building, girl!”
I shook my head. “You’re so crazy. Anyway , it’s not all about sex with me and Roc. We have an emotional connection that’s deeper than sex.”
We did. Our moments together were so damn intimate that we didn’t need to have sex. I think that’s why for four months it hadn't happened yet. Sometimes I wondered why he hadn’t at least tried, but, like I had grown to learn to do, I trusted him when it came to me and us.
Rolling his eyes, Courtney told me, “That’s real cute and
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