and said, “I’m sorry, he’s just so blatant about his desires…for you. The way he looks at you. It pisses me off! Sorry.”
“Don’t let it get to you. I love you, and I always will. He can’t change that.”
“I hope not.”
“What do you mean by that? Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I do! It’s him I don’t trust.”
“Well, he’s with Jillian now, anyway. Problem solved. He’s her problem now. I hope she knows what she’s getting herself into.”
“Something tells me there’s more to the story than him just suddenly finding romance with your best friend…I don’t buy it!”
We changed the subject and we were both laughing by the time we got back to my house. It was only a matter of seconds before Shane stopped laughing and said, “Where are your parents?”
“I um, I think they’re out with Jillian’s parents…celebrating.” I knew they’d be out, and I also knew he would have never come inside if he’d known that we’d be alone.
“Rebecca you know how I feel…”
“But, you don’t know how I feel.”
“What?”
“Shane, I wanted to spend the evening with you. Please, give me a little alone time. For me?”
“Okay. I’m sorry I ruined your night. I should have listened to you about…”
“You didn’t ruin anything.”
“Yeah, I did. I should have taken you somewhere special, like I’d planned.”
“But, if we didn’t go with them, then I wouldn’t have gotten to dance with you.”
He didn’t say anything. He was looking around nervously, like he was ready to bolt at any second.
I sighed deeply. “Please don’t go.”
“You’re parents aren’t home.”
“So what?”
“So, it’s not right.”
“You’re not breaking any of my father’s rules. We’re not doing anything.”
“Goodnight, Rebecca.”
“Shane…”
“Rebecca, I can’t be here now.”
“But, it’s graduation. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
“Okay, then we’ll go out.”
“I don’t want to go out, either. I want…I need…” I remembered what my mother told me about how Shane would never deny me anything I needed, but I wanted him to want me of his own accord, not feel like he’d been denying me of his love…which wasn’t true. I knew he loved me. I just need a little physical confirmation that I was desirable to him.
“What, Rebecca? What do you need?” he asked, taking the bait.
“Nothing. It’s okay. I had a good time tonight.” I walked him to the door.
“Goodnight,” he said, touching my cheek with his warm hand and walking out the door.
I watched him for a second and then closed the door. I felt…so alone when he left and I sat down at the bottom of the stairs and before I knew it, I was crying. It was my graduation night and the one thing…the only thing I wanted…was Shane, but he didn’t see it, or understand it. I knew he was only protecting me, but as I sat alone on that step, I knew I really did need him.
“You didn’t lock…” Shane walked back inside, “Rebecca, what’s wrong?”
I quickly sat up and tried to hide my tears, but he’d already seen them. “Nothing. I’m sorry, I’m fine,” I lied.
He stood there looking confused and finally closed the door and sat down next to me. He didn’t touch me…of course. He didn’t pull me into his arms, or even drape his arm around my shoulder. This only made me feel worse and the tears started again and wouldn’t stop.
He had no clue as to what to do for me, and after asking me at least a dozen times what was wrong , I stood up and walked to the window.
“I’m okay, really,” I sniffled, trying to get my turbulent emotions under control.
“No, you’re not.” He walked over to me and put his hand on my arm turning me to face him. “What is it?” I could see the concern in his eyes.
The warmth of his touch only made it worse and suddenly I was sobbing and finally, he broke his own rule and pulled me to him. I was still sobbing, but now
“Don’t let it get to you. I love you, and I always will. He can’t change that.”
“I hope not.”
“What do you mean by that? Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I do! It’s him I don’t trust.”
“Well, he’s with Jillian now, anyway. Problem solved. He’s her problem now. I hope she knows what she’s getting herself into.”
“Something tells me there’s more to the story than him just suddenly finding romance with your best friend…I don’t buy it!”
We changed the subject and we were both laughing by the time we got back to my house. It was only a matter of seconds before Shane stopped laughing and said, “Where are your parents?”
“I um, I think they’re out with Jillian’s parents…celebrating.” I knew they’d be out, and I also knew he would have never come inside if he’d known that we’d be alone.
“Rebecca you know how I feel…”
“But, you don’t know how I feel.”
“What?”
“Shane, I wanted to spend the evening with you. Please, give me a little alone time. For me?”
“Okay. I’m sorry I ruined your night. I should have listened to you about…”
“You didn’t ruin anything.”
“Yeah, I did. I should have taken you somewhere special, like I’d planned.”
“But, if we didn’t go with them, then I wouldn’t have gotten to dance with you.”
He didn’t say anything. He was looking around nervously, like he was ready to bolt at any second.
I sighed deeply. “Please don’t go.”
“You’re parents aren’t home.”
“So what?”
“So, it’s not right.”
“You’re not breaking any of my father’s rules. We’re not doing anything.”
“Goodnight, Rebecca.”
“Shane…”
“Rebecca, I can’t be here now.”
“But, it’s graduation. I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
“Okay, then we’ll go out.”
“I don’t want to go out, either. I want…I need…” I remembered what my mother told me about how Shane would never deny me anything I needed, but I wanted him to want me of his own accord, not feel like he’d been denying me of his love…which wasn’t true. I knew he loved me. I just need a little physical confirmation that I was desirable to him.
“What, Rebecca? What do you need?” he asked, taking the bait.
“Nothing. It’s okay. I had a good time tonight.” I walked him to the door.
“Goodnight,” he said, touching my cheek with his warm hand and walking out the door.
I watched him for a second and then closed the door. I felt…so alone when he left and I sat down at the bottom of the stairs and before I knew it, I was crying. It was my graduation night and the one thing…the only thing I wanted…was Shane, but he didn’t see it, or understand it. I knew he was only protecting me, but as I sat alone on that step, I knew I really did need him.
“You didn’t lock…” Shane walked back inside, “Rebecca, what’s wrong?”
I quickly sat up and tried to hide my tears, but he’d already seen them. “Nothing. I’m sorry, I’m fine,” I lied.
He stood there looking confused and finally closed the door and sat down next to me. He didn’t touch me…of course. He didn’t pull me into his arms, or even drape his arm around my shoulder. This only made me feel worse and the tears started again and wouldn’t stop.
He had no clue as to what to do for me, and after asking me at least a dozen times what was wrong , I stood up and walked to the window.
“I’m okay, really,” I sniffled, trying to get my turbulent emotions under control.
“No, you’re not.” He walked over to me and put his hand on my arm turning me to face him. “What is it?” I could see the concern in his eyes.
The warmth of his touch only made it worse and suddenly I was sobbing and finally, he broke his own rule and pulled me to him. I was still sobbing, but now
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