Come Together by Jessica Hawkins Page B

and he continued fucking me, through my orgasm and after it, until he came vigorously again, filling me with his heat.
    He crumpled onto my back, heaving, and buried his mouth into my neck. “It’s all for you,” he whispered hoarsely, his breath tickling my ear. His hands slid up my arms and settled over mine at the edge of the mattress. “You’re everything,” he said, repeating it as he unhooked my fingers and laced them with his. “Don’t shut me out, baby, I need you. I need this.”
    The sheer sadness and need in his voice brought tears to my eyes that I didn’t have the energy to fight. My body was limp on the mattress as I shuddered underneath him, hiding my face in the pillow.
    “Shh,” he said, stroking my hair with one hand. “I’m so sorry she came here. Forgive me.”
    He kneeled back and kissed my shoulders tenderly. When I didn’t feel him anymore, and I could once again move, I turned over gingerly. He was breathing heavily with his back against the headboard, watching me with steepled knees. “It’s over. I swear, Olivia. I didn’t know she would come here. I didn’t know that all these years, she thought she would be the one. Please. Don’t leave.” The expression on his face was pained, and it killed me. I only wanted to kiss it away.
    I pulled up onto my knees and climbed into his lap so I was straddling him. I was sore and swollen, and it was uncomfortable to sit against him, but I didn’t care; I wanted to be as close to him as possible. He answered with an all-consuming hug, clinging to me like a lifesaver.
    “I know it’s complicated,” I said softly. “Everything is so complicated. But I need to know. Do you still love her?”
    He drew back to look me in the face and exhaled a short laugh. “Love? What makes you think I love her?”
    “After three years?”
    “It was nothing, my sweet, sweet girl,” he said, holding me tighter. “I didn’t love her or any of them. If I’d known you thought that, I would have told you from the start that I didn’t love her.”
    I sighed my desperation to believe him. “I’m sorry that I locked you out.”
    “I’m sorry I was so rough with you. I’ve never been that out of control. You reduce me to a fucking animal.”
    “I like it,” I said. “I like that you need me like I need you.”
    He nudged my chin up with his nose and kissed the underside of my jaw.
    “And I liked being restrained,” I added quietly, eyes up to the ceiling.
    “I knew you would,” he murmured.
    “How? I wouldn’t have thought so.”
    “You want me to take control.”
    “But I always like being in control.”
    “Not wanting to give up control is not the same as wanting to be in control.”
    I nodded, awed by his ability to pinpoint how I felt better than I could.
    “You would tell me to stop if it was too much?” he asked.
    “Yes,” I promised. “But it’s not.”
    “You have to let go, and let me take over. I want it, and I’m not just talking about sex.”
    I shuddered involuntarily. To agree would be so easy, but I forced myself to see the reality of what he was saying. Letting him take the reins and giving myself over to him was too tempting. It edged me closer to the brink of completely drowning in him. “I know you want to be gentle with Maria,” I said. “And I’m sorry if I’ve cost you a friend. But I’m terrified that suddenly you’ll change your mind and this will all go away. Terrified.”
    “You have nothing to be afraid of.”
    “You two have so much history – ”
    “And what about Bill? Are you going to run back to him?”
    I shook my head.
    “We have to trust each other if this is going to work,” he said. “We both have history, but that’s all it is. History. We’re moving forward together.”
    “Okay,” I agreed, feeling suddenly emotionally and physically drained.
    He grinned. “I almost busted earlier when you said I was the first to come inside you.”
    “I was saving that for the right