whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.’ ”
David’s neck muscles tightened and his throat constricted. How long had it been since he felt God’s presence?
“ ‘If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.’ ”
The night shining as day? Dark and light might be the same to God, but everything was darkness to David now, as if he were imprisoned in the deepest mine shaft. God had stolen everything David treasured, then left him alone in the dark.
Karen’s hand moved in his. He loosened his grip, only now aware of how hard he’d been squeezing her fingers. She rubbed small circles on the back of his hand.
“ ‘Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’ ”
David heard little of the rest of the recitations. His thoughts behaved like ball bearings dropped on a hard floor. He chased first one, then another, never able to line them up squarely.
What had gone wrong at the mine? What should he have done differently? Why had Karen married him when he was so obviously flawed? Would he ever master Braille, and what difference would it make if he did? Why was God so far away? Was his blindness a punishment from God for being so careless at the mine?
Not until Karen stirred beside him did he realize the program had ended. They filed out, her hand under his arm. He forced his face into a pleasant expression and let her steer him toward the side of the immense room.
She stood on tiptoe and whispered into his ear, “There’s a donation table by the door.” A tinge of doubt flavored her tone.
He pressed his lips together. Before leaving the town house he’d tucked his wallet into his inner coat pocket. Though it seemed strange, for now he couldn’t tell a five-dollar bill from a fifty. He withdrew the leather wallet and handed it to her. “There are blank checks in there. Write one out for a hundred dollars.”
“Thank you, David.”
He could hear the smile in her voice and warmth spread through him. “They deserve it. Rex has been very patient with me.”
The only awkward moment before their departure came when he had to sign the check. “They have a fountain pen. You’ll do fine.” She spread the slip for him and positioned his hand. “You’ve signed your name a thousand times.”
The pen scratched on the paper.
She picked the check up, and it rustled as she waved it to dry the ink. “Perfect.”
He declined the finger sandwiches and asked only for a half cup of punch to minimize what he could spill.
Karen stayed by his side, but he didn’t sense she was hovering or afraid to leave him alone. It seemed she took every opportunity to touch him, smoothing his lapel, taking his arm, letting her fingers brush his.
Almost before he was ready, they were back in the carriage headed home.
Karen yawned and laid her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for taking me out tonight. I had a wonderful time. You seemed to enjoy yourself. Did you have a good time?”
“I did.”
She laughed. “Don’t sound so surprised. I can’t believe how much scripture those children had memorized. Did you have a favorite?”
“The first one, I suppose.”
“That was my favorite, too. Can you imagine? God knew everything about us before we were even born. There’s nowhere we can hide from Him and nowhere that His love can’t reach us.” She sighed and rubbed her cheek against his topcoat. “I find that very comforting, don’t you?”
What he found comforting was having her so close to him. In the close
David’s neck muscles tightened and his throat constricted. How long had it been since he felt God’s presence?
“ ‘If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.’ ”
The night shining as day? Dark and light might be the same to God, but everything was darkness to David now, as if he were imprisoned in the deepest mine shaft. God had stolen everything David treasured, then left him alone in the dark.
Karen’s hand moved in his. He loosened his grip, only now aware of how hard he’d been squeezing her fingers. She rubbed small circles on the back of his hand.
“ ‘Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.’ ”
David heard little of the rest of the recitations. His thoughts behaved like ball bearings dropped on a hard floor. He chased first one, then another, never able to line them up squarely.
What had gone wrong at the mine? What should he have done differently? Why had Karen married him when he was so obviously flawed? Would he ever master Braille, and what difference would it make if he did? Why was God so far away? Was his blindness a punishment from God for being so careless at the mine?
Not until Karen stirred beside him did he realize the program had ended. They filed out, her hand under his arm. He forced his face into a pleasant expression and let her steer him toward the side of the immense room.
She stood on tiptoe and whispered into his ear, “There’s a donation table by the door.” A tinge of doubt flavored her tone.
He pressed his lips together. Before leaving the town house he’d tucked his wallet into his inner coat pocket. Though it seemed strange, for now he couldn’t tell a five-dollar bill from a fifty. He withdrew the leather wallet and handed it to her. “There are blank checks in there. Write one out for a hundred dollars.”
“Thank you, David.”
He could hear the smile in her voice and warmth spread through him. “They deserve it. Rex has been very patient with me.”
The only awkward moment before their departure came when he had to sign the check. “They have a fountain pen. You’ll do fine.” She spread the slip for him and positioned his hand. “You’ve signed your name a thousand times.”
The pen scratched on the paper.
She picked the check up, and it rustled as she waved it to dry the ink. “Perfect.”
He declined the finger sandwiches and asked only for a half cup of punch to minimize what he could spill.
Karen stayed by his side, but he didn’t sense she was hovering or afraid to leave him alone. It seemed she took every opportunity to touch him, smoothing his lapel, taking his arm, letting her fingers brush his.
Almost before he was ready, they were back in the carriage headed home.
Karen yawned and laid her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for taking me out tonight. I had a wonderful time. You seemed to enjoy yourself. Did you have a good time?”
“I did.”
She laughed. “Don’t sound so surprised. I can’t believe how much scripture those children had memorized. Did you have a favorite?”
“The first one, I suppose.”
“That was my favorite, too. Can you imagine? God knew everything about us before we were even born. There’s nowhere we can hide from Him and nowhere that His love can’t reach us.” She sighed and rubbed her cheek against his topcoat. “I find that very comforting, don’t you?”
What he found comforting was having her so close to him. In the close
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