turned on the sofa to face him, searching his eyes as she crossed her legs and leaned back on the armrest.
"But what can we do, Rob? What happened a little while ago has made me realize how unfair I was to you. We were the way we were because I let us be."
"Maybe. Or partly. But it was mostly me being afraid of what I knew in my heart I really wanted. We were having fun, Lisa, and I didn't know how to move beyond it. Remember that old song by the Eagles, Life in the Fast Lane? In a way, that was us. We were rushing down the freeway and I was too blind to see the exit. You tried to show me at least a half-dozen times, and each time I…"
"You're right," she said, interrupting. "You did what you did. But I let you. And when it got to be too much, I simply took the exit by myself rather than fight for what I really wanted."
There were tears in her eyes again. "If you hadn't done what you did today, I would have walked away from us, Robbie. I would have let myself blame you for everything and walked away. And I think I would have regretted it for the rest of my life."
The tears rolled silently down her cheeks. Rob reached over to wipe them away.
"Stop," he pleaded in a whisper. "Please don't cry. It doesn't matter who did what. That's all in the past. What matters is now, tomorrow, and all the other tomorrows after it. What really matters is us, that there is an us, and that we make sure they'll always be an us."
8:37 PM
When Jillian and Jenna arrived at the restaurant, everyone else was already seated.
Thursday night dinner with the girls had started several years ago, when Jillian, Jenna, and Liz were sophomores. At first, it had been the three of them and Mary Louise Beaumont, a genuine southern belle and friend of Jenna's. Over the years, women had drifted in and out of the weekly gathering which usually numbered eight to ten.
They took turns selecting the restaurant and this week, it was Gloria's turn. No one ever had to wonder what they'd be eating when it was Gloria's turn. She'd grown up on the coast of Maine and loved seafood of all kinds. Her favorite place in Boston was the Legal Seafood at Park Plaice. Gloria insisted the food at that Legal's was "a whale's tail better" than at any of their other locations around town, although no one else could taste any difference.
It appeared most of their friends been waiting for awhile. Gloria, Holly, Shandra, Marie, and Maggie were each working on their second drink while Liz and Marissa had only one half-full glass each in front of them.
All eyes turned to Jillian as she and Jenna approached the table. Before she could even remove her coat, she was peppered with questions about Paul. Obviously, Liz, Shandra, and Marie had been comparing notes and filling in the others.
"Please!"
She held up a hand as she took her seat.
"I just finished my yoga class and must remain focused on my center for a while. My thoughts have to remain relaxed and pure."
This elicited a round of raucous laughter from the whole table, but especially from Jenna.
"Girl, are you forgetting I was there with you. The thoughts you had were anything but pure and the only center you focused on was between your legs."
"Jenna!"
Jillian felt her face start to flush yet again as the laughter renewed.
"Don't play innocent with me, girl."
She proceeded to relate what had happened during yoga class.
"And then Jilli says ‘I am not that kind of girl' and Maureen pats her on the shoulder and says, ‘Of course you are, honey. We're all that kind of girl for the right guy.'"
Laughter rang out again from her audience.
"Well, she's right about that," Maggie said. "Of course, if a man can walk and brushes his teeth he's the right one for me."
Maggie was, by far, the most sexually liberated of the group. She was twenty-nine, soon-to-be-thirty, and considered Sex and the City's Samantha Jones a role model. She once confided that by the time she had turned twenty-four she'd lost count of the
"But what can we do, Rob? What happened a little while ago has made me realize how unfair I was to you. We were the way we were because I let us be."
"Maybe. Or partly. But it was mostly me being afraid of what I knew in my heart I really wanted. We were having fun, Lisa, and I didn't know how to move beyond it. Remember that old song by the Eagles, Life in the Fast Lane? In a way, that was us. We were rushing down the freeway and I was too blind to see the exit. You tried to show me at least a half-dozen times, and each time I…"
"You're right," she said, interrupting. "You did what you did. But I let you. And when it got to be too much, I simply took the exit by myself rather than fight for what I really wanted."
There were tears in her eyes again. "If you hadn't done what you did today, I would have walked away from us, Robbie. I would have let myself blame you for everything and walked away. And I think I would have regretted it for the rest of my life."
The tears rolled silently down her cheeks. Rob reached over to wipe them away.
"Stop," he pleaded in a whisper. "Please don't cry. It doesn't matter who did what. That's all in the past. What matters is now, tomorrow, and all the other tomorrows after it. What really matters is us, that there is an us, and that we make sure they'll always be an us."
8:37 PM
When Jillian and Jenna arrived at the restaurant, everyone else was already seated.
Thursday night dinner with the girls had started several years ago, when Jillian, Jenna, and Liz were sophomores. At first, it had been the three of them and Mary Louise Beaumont, a genuine southern belle and friend of Jenna's. Over the years, women had drifted in and out of the weekly gathering which usually numbered eight to ten.
They took turns selecting the restaurant and this week, it was Gloria's turn. No one ever had to wonder what they'd be eating when it was Gloria's turn. She'd grown up on the coast of Maine and loved seafood of all kinds. Her favorite place in Boston was the Legal Seafood at Park Plaice. Gloria insisted the food at that Legal's was "a whale's tail better" than at any of their other locations around town, although no one else could taste any difference.
It appeared most of their friends been waiting for awhile. Gloria, Holly, Shandra, Marie, and Maggie were each working on their second drink while Liz and Marissa had only one half-full glass each in front of them.
All eyes turned to Jillian as she and Jenna approached the table. Before she could even remove her coat, she was peppered with questions about Paul. Obviously, Liz, Shandra, and Marie had been comparing notes and filling in the others.
"Please!"
She held up a hand as she took her seat.
"I just finished my yoga class and must remain focused on my center for a while. My thoughts have to remain relaxed and pure."
This elicited a round of raucous laughter from the whole table, but especially from Jenna.
"Girl, are you forgetting I was there with you. The thoughts you had were anything but pure and the only center you focused on was between your legs."
"Jenna!"
Jillian felt her face start to flush yet again as the laughter renewed.
"Don't play innocent with me, girl."
She proceeded to relate what had happened during yoga class.
"And then Jilli says ‘I am not that kind of girl' and Maureen pats her on the shoulder and says, ‘Of course you are, honey. We're all that kind of girl for the right guy.'"
Laughter rang out again from her audience.
"Well, she's right about that," Maggie said. "Of course, if a man can walk and brushes his teeth he's the right one for me."
Maggie was, by far, the most sexually liberated of the group. She was twenty-nine, soon-to-be-thirty, and considered Sex and the City's Samantha Jones a role model. She once confided that by the time she had turned twenty-four she'd lost count of the
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