stopped. It was an ordinary sort of bird, brown and white in color, and looking, Mrs. OâBese thought, as stupid as all of its kind. It stared at her with beady eyes.
Then it said, âQuack!â
At this moment Mrs. OâBese heard the sound of heavy bodies squelching through the mud and looked around to see that Mrs. Stout and Mrs. Portly, Mrs. Chubby, Mrs. Tubby, Mrs. Swagbelly, and Mrs. Roly-Poly were all standing behind her.
âListen to this,â she grunted softly at them, and to the duck she said, loudly and slowly as
one does to foreigners, âNow then, my friend. I wonder if perhaps youâd be able to help me. Thereâs this long word Iâve heard, and Iâm just a silly old sow, so I donât know the meaning of it.â
âQuack!â said the duck again.
âThe word,â said Mrs. OâBese, âis âignoramus.ââ
âIs that so?â said the duck.
âYes. Can you tell me what it means?â
âI must say,â said the duck, âyou surprise me. I had been under the distinct impression that pigs were reasonably intelligent. If you donât know what an ignoramus is, then you must be one.â
2
Ed-u-cation
The seven sows stood in shocked silence as the duck waddled away.
Then a black-and-white sheepdog came trotting across the orchard and approached the duck, tail wagging.
âGood morning, Damaris,â said the dog.
âIt was a good morning, Rory,â said the duck,
âuntil just now. Those sows! They are so patronizing. They think that theyâre so intelligent and that the rest of us are fools. They need to be taught a lesson.â
Rory stared thoughtfully at the sows.
âYouâre right, Damaris,â he said. âI wouldnât mind wiping those smug smiles off their fat faces. Iâll think of something.â
âIâm sure you will, Rory,â said Damaris.
âYouâre miles cleverer than them anyway. I should know. If it hadnât been for you, Iâd just be an ordinary duck.â
An ordinary duck Damaris certainly was not. That is to say, she was not stupid and thoughtless and empty-headed as most ducks are. On the contrary, she was educated, and her teacher had been Rory. It had happened like this.
All sheepdogs are born with the instinct for herding things, and they begin as soon as they
can run around. Rory as a puppy had often come into the orchard, practicing his craft upon the chickens and ducks.
The hens squawked and flapped and ran out of his way, but the ducks were slower moving and tended, like sheep, to bunch together and, like sheep, to protest loudly at being forced to go this way and that. Usually they managed to make their way to the pond, where the puppy could not follow, but one morning he came upon a mother duck with a brood of baby ducklings, and Rory set himself to keep these little ones away from the water.
For some time he moved them here and there, while the duck quacked distractedly in the
background, but then a strange thing happened.
One of the ducklings flatly refused to move any farther. It simply sat down in the grass, seemingly unafraid of what must have appeared to it a very large animal, while the rest hurried off to join their mother.
The puppy sniffed at the duckling.
âWhatâs the matter?â he said.
âThe matter,â piped the duckling,âis that youâre a big bully and Iâm tired.â
âI was only practicing,â said Rory.
âWhat for?â
âHerding sheep. Thatâs what I will be doing. When Iâm grown up. Iâm a sheepdog, you see. My nameâs Rory. Whatâs yours?â
âDamaris,â said the duckling.
âThatâs a nice name,â said Rory.
Ducks were silly animals, he knew that, his mother had told him, but this one seemed quite sensible.
âLook, Damaris,â he said, âIâm sorry if Iâve upset you. Like I said, I
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