are you giving me that look for?”
“I highly doubt that this was on Owen’s list of ultimate first dates.”
“Maybe it was,” Liam says.
“No,” I tell him. “It was special and meaningful, and you chose it specifically for me. I won’t let you cheapen it with jokes. It was amazing.”
Liam’s voice lowers a littl e. “Did you really like it?”
“Yes,” I respond sincerely. “It was a lot of fun. It was also just what I needed. You didn’t just help me. You helped me help myself, which is far more valuable. I can’t thank you enough.”
“You’re very welcome,” he responds, “but you’re not a master yet. We’ll have to keep training, and keep going back, dozens of times.”
The idea of more training gives me a thrill. I am somehow bursting with energy—even though I have spent much more energy today than I would on an average day, I seem to have more because of this. It’s ironic and puzzling, but I love the sensation.
“When can we do this again?” I ask him shyly.
“Soon,” he responds instantly. “Let’s make a promise that we’ll train with James at least three times a week, for a minimum of two hours. Even if things don’t work out with us—we’ll just quit going there on dates and go as friends. It’s important to do this. It will change your life.”
“ You already have changed my life,” I tell him softly. I think about where I was earlier today, sitting with my back to a dresser and feeling terrified of a door opening. I think about where I have been for several days, confined to my room and unable to get out of bed. Unable to do any work. Unable to think of anything other than my overwhelming fear. I know that I probably don’t know enough about judo yet to actually stand a chance in a fight, but I feel like I have broken through some barrier today. I am not afraid anymore. Tears spring to my eyes, but they are tears of happiness. “Liam,” I say, and my voice is all choked up. However, having learned that touch can be my friend, I decide not to speak and simply reach out and place my hand on his leg. I place a gentle pressure on his thigh to try and convey my gratitude.
He removes one of his hands from the steering wheel, and places it over my own. He interlaces his fingers with mine, in a gesture which clearly conveys him accepting my sentiments.
The touch is so powerful that there really is no need for speech.
A few more minutes and miles pass, and our fingers remain woven together. It is so comforting and natural, and I wish that the moment would last forever. I feel like my skin just melts together with his, and disappears into his body. It is like his hand belongs attached to mine—like it always had been there before, but was separated for this lifetime, and only just reunited.
He feels like the missing part of me that I never even realized I was missing. I never thought I could feel so secure and complete. I don’t know how I’m going to rip myself away from him. All I can seem to think about is how I need to be even closer to him than this. I want to be around him all the time—I want to spend as much time with him as possible. He makes me feel like life could be a good thing. He makes me laugh, even when I’m trying to be standoffish and snobby. He easily breaks down all my walls with his gentle persistence. He believes I can do anything, and makes me into a better version of myself. He helps me to see the things I cannot see. He makes me feel fulfilled.
“We’re almost at your place,” he says quietly.
There is a silence, and we both seem to feel the ache of the impending loss. However, as he continues to drive onward, my thoughts begin to focus less on how incredible Liam is, and more on the horrible hellhole that is looming in the distance. I have been enjoying myself so much that I had almost entirely forgotten about Grayson. I had forgotten how soon I would be thrust back into the same dwelling with him. I had forgotten that date had
“I highly doubt that this was on Owen’s list of ultimate first dates.”
“Maybe it was,” Liam says.
“No,” I tell him. “It was special and meaningful, and you chose it specifically for me. I won’t let you cheapen it with jokes. It was amazing.”
Liam’s voice lowers a littl e. “Did you really like it?”
“Yes,” I respond sincerely. “It was a lot of fun. It was also just what I needed. You didn’t just help me. You helped me help myself, which is far more valuable. I can’t thank you enough.”
“You’re very welcome,” he responds, “but you’re not a master yet. We’ll have to keep training, and keep going back, dozens of times.”
The idea of more training gives me a thrill. I am somehow bursting with energy—even though I have spent much more energy today than I would on an average day, I seem to have more because of this. It’s ironic and puzzling, but I love the sensation.
“When can we do this again?” I ask him shyly.
“Soon,” he responds instantly. “Let’s make a promise that we’ll train with James at least three times a week, for a minimum of two hours. Even if things don’t work out with us—we’ll just quit going there on dates and go as friends. It’s important to do this. It will change your life.”
“ You already have changed my life,” I tell him softly. I think about where I was earlier today, sitting with my back to a dresser and feeling terrified of a door opening. I think about where I have been for several days, confined to my room and unable to get out of bed. Unable to do any work. Unable to think of anything other than my overwhelming fear. I know that I probably don’t know enough about judo yet to actually stand a chance in a fight, but I feel like I have broken through some barrier today. I am not afraid anymore. Tears spring to my eyes, but they are tears of happiness. “Liam,” I say, and my voice is all choked up. However, having learned that touch can be my friend, I decide not to speak and simply reach out and place my hand on his leg. I place a gentle pressure on his thigh to try and convey my gratitude.
He removes one of his hands from the steering wheel, and places it over my own. He interlaces his fingers with mine, in a gesture which clearly conveys him accepting my sentiments.
The touch is so powerful that there really is no need for speech.
A few more minutes and miles pass, and our fingers remain woven together. It is so comforting and natural, and I wish that the moment would last forever. I feel like my skin just melts together with his, and disappears into his body. It is like his hand belongs attached to mine—like it always had been there before, but was separated for this lifetime, and only just reunited.
He feels like the missing part of me that I never even realized I was missing. I never thought I could feel so secure and complete. I don’t know how I’m going to rip myself away from him. All I can seem to think about is how I need to be even closer to him than this. I want to be around him all the time—I want to spend as much time with him as possible. He makes me feel like life could be a good thing. He makes me laugh, even when I’m trying to be standoffish and snobby. He easily breaks down all my walls with his gentle persistence. He believes I can do anything, and makes me into a better version of myself. He helps me to see the things I cannot see. He makes me feel fulfilled.
“We’re almost at your place,” he says quietly.
There is a silence, and we both seem to feel the ache of the impending loss. However, as he continues to drive onward, my thoughts begin to focus less on how incredible Liam is, and more on the horrible hellhole that is looming in the distance. I have been enjoying myself so much that I had almost entirely forgotten about Grayson. I had forgotten how soon I would be thrust back into the same dwelling with him. I had forgotten that date had
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