Commander Caractacus Pott, and I am ashamed to say that, because he was always dreaming of impossible inventions and adventures and explorations in the remotest parts of the earth, he was generally known in the neighborhood as Commander CRACKPOTT! ! You may think it's rude, and so it is, but Commander Pott was a humorous man and he knew his own shortcomings very well, so when he heard that that was his nickname in the neighborhood, he was not at all cross. He just roared with laughter and said, "I'll show 'em!" and disappeared into his workshop and didn't come out for a whole day and a night.
During that time, smoke came out of the workshop chimney and there were a lot of delicious smells. And when the children put their ears to the locked door, they could hear mysterious bubblings and cooking-poppings, if you know what I mean, but nothing else at all. When Commander Pott came out, he was so hungry that first of all he ate four fried eggs and bacon and drank a huge pot of coffee, and then he asked Mimsie to call Jeremy and Jemima, who were getting in an awful mess digging out a water rat's hole on the bank of the lake. (They never caught the water rat. He dug down faster than they did.)
The twins came and stood side by side looking at their father, wondering what his invention had been this time. (Commander Pott's inventions were sometimes dull things like collapsible coat hangers; sometimes useless things like edible phonograph records; and sometimes clever things that just, only just, wouldn't work, like cubical potatoes [easy to slice and pack and peel but expensive to grow each in its little iron box] and so on.) Commander Pott, looking very mysterious, dug in his pockets and produced a handful of what looked like round colored sugar candies, each a bit bigger than a marble, wrapped in paper. And, still looking mysterious, he chose a red one for Jeremy and a green for Jemima and handed them over.
Well, candies are always candies, thought the children, even though they didn't look very exciting, so they unwrapped them and were just about to pop them in their mouths when Commander Pott cried, "Wait! Look at them first—very, very carefully !"
The children looked at the sweets and Commander Pott said, "What do you see? What's different about them?"
And Jeremy and Jemima said with one voice, or almost, "They've got two small holes drilled through the middle of them."
Commander Pott nodded solemnly. "Now suck them."
So Jeremy and Jemima popped the candies into their mouths and sucked busily away, looking at each other with raised eyebrows as much as to say, "What do you notice? And what do you taste? Mine tastes of strawberry. Mine tastes of peppermint." And both pairs of eyes seemed to say, "They're just candy, round hard candy, and our tongues can feel the holes in them. Otherwise they're just like any other candy."
But Commander Pott, who could easily see what they were thinking, suddenly held up his hand. "Now stop sucking, both of you. Twiddle the candies round with your tongues until they're held between your teeth, with the twin holes pointing outward, open your lips, and BLOW!"
Well, of course the children laughed so much watching each other's faces that they nearly swallowed the candies, but finally, by turning their backs on each other, they managed to compose themselves and fix the candies between their teeth.
And they BLEW!
And do you know what? A wonderful shrill whistle came out, almost like a toy steam engine. The children were so excited that they went on whistling until Commander Pott sternly told them to stop. He held up his hand. "Now go on sucking until I tell you to whistle again." And he took out his watch and carefully observed the minute hand.
"Now!"
This time Jeremy and Jemima didn't laugh so much, but managed to get their candies, which of course were much smaller than before, between their teeth, and they blew like crazy.
This time, because their sucking had hollowed out the holes still
During that time, smoke came out of the workshop chimney and there were a lot of delicious smells. And when the children put their ears to the locked door, they could hear mysterious bubblings and cooking-poppings, if you know what I mean, but nothing else at all. When Commander Pott came out, he was so hungry that first of all he ate four fried eggs and bacon and drank a huge pot of coffee, and then he asked Mimsie to call Jeremy and Jemima, who were getting in an awful mess digging out a water rat's hole on the bank of the lake. (They never caught the water rat. He dug down faster than they did.)
The twins came and stood side by side looking at their father, wondering what his invention had been this time. (Commander Pott's inventions were sometimes dull things like collapsible coat hangers; sometimes useless things like edible phonograph records; and sometimes clever things that just, only just, wouldn't work, like cubical potatoes [easy to slice and pack and peel but expensive to grow each in its little iron box] and so on.) Commander Pott, looking very mysterious, dug in his pockets and produced a handful of what looked like round colored sugar candies, each a bit bigger than a marble, wrapped in paper. And, still looking mysterious, he chose a red one for Jeremy and a green for Jemima and handed them over.
Well, candies are always candies, thought the children, even though they didn't look very exciting, so they unwrapped them and were just about to pop them in their mouths when Commander Pott cried, "Wait! Look at them first—very, very carefully !"
The children looked at the sweets and Commander Pott said, "What do you see? What's different about them?"
And Jeremy and Jemima said with one voice, or almost, "They've got two small holes drilled through the middle of them."
Commander Pott nodded solemnly. "Now suck them."
So Jeremy and Jemima popped the candies into their mouths and sucked busily away, looking at each other with raised eyebrows as much as to say, "What do you notice? And what do you taste? Mine tastes of strawberry. Mine tastes of peppermint." And both pairs of eyes seemed to say, "They're just candy, round hard candy, and our tongues can feel the holes in them. Otherwise they're just like any other candy."
But Commander Pott, who could easily see what they were thinking, suddenly held up his hand. "Now stop sucking, both of you. Twiddle the candies round with your tongues until they're held between your teeth, with the twin holes pointing outward, open your lips, and BLOW!"
Well, of course the children laughed so much watching each other's faces that they nearly swallowed the candies, but finally, by turning their backs on each other, they managed to compose themselves and fix the candies between their teeth.
And they BLEW!
And do you know what? A wonderful shrill whistle came out, almost like a toy steam engine. The children were so excited that they went on whistling until Commander Pott sternly told them to stop. He held up his hand. "Now go on sucking until I tell you to whistle again." And he took out his watch and carefully observed the minute hand.
"Now!"
This time Jeremy and Jemima didn't laugh so much, but managed to get their candies, which of course were much smaller than before, between their teeth, and they blew like crazy.
This time, because their sucking had hollowed out the holes still
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