not in front of her or him.
He’s happy.
He’s living a life I’m no longer a part of.
He smiles as he scans the room and when our eyes meet, I can’t miss the slight change in his. Maybe it’s regret? Maybe it’s sadness? Even though I can’t imagine him being sad on a night like this. So, I give him the best smile I can muster, because he deserves it.
He deserves happiness.
And so do I.
Camille
Present
MICAH AND HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND , Dani, showed up a few minutes after Annie. My daddy and Kay soon followed. The only person from our immediate family who isn’t here yet is Tucker. He drove by Ms. Becky’s to check on Carter before driving this way.
I’ll have to remember to give him an extra hug when he gets here.
As much of a pain in my ass as he was while we were growing up, he’s a wonderful uncle to Carter, and he’s pretty much the best brother I could ask for. Sure, he’s a little rough around the edges, but he’s soft on the inside, and he’s got a heart bigger than Dallas.
“Stop,” Annie says, gently pulling my hand away from my mouth. “You’re gonna bite them down to the quick.”
“I can’t help it.” When my teeth no longer have my nails to chew on, they go to my inner cheek. I’m sure I’ll draw blood on some part of my body before the doctor finally gets out here to talk to us. “I don’t know what’s taking so long. They should’ve come out here by now. I mean, it’s been—”
“They’ll be out soon.” Annie cuts me off mid-sentence. Her no-nonsense way is back in full force. She’s in control, like always. Her hand comes down on my knee, and she squeezes it in reassurance.
I take a minute to look around at the waiting room.
My daddy and Sam are over in one corner talking, and they look very serious. Both of them have their arms crossed over their chests and their brows are furrowed. I can’t make out what they’re saying, but I hear the low murmurs. Kay is sitting on the other side of me, flipping through a magazine, but I can tell she’s not looking at it. It’s just giving her something to do to occupy the minutes. Micah and Dani are sitting across from us, and Micah’s face is hard. He hasn’t taken his eyes off the door that leads to the ER since he sat down.
Dani, the newest addition to our group, is sitting at Micah’s side, rubbing soothing circles on his back. Every once in a while her eyes turn to me and the smile she gives is sad. She loves Deacon. They made a connection when she came to do an article on the plantation a few months ago. Deacon showed her around and gave her insider information on Pockets. They’ve been buds ever since. So, I know this is affecting her as much as the rest of us.
The longer we wait, the more the bottom falls out of my stomach and my heart. I’m not a medical professional, but I know that if Deacon is in some kind of coma or something, the longer he’s out, the worse it is. And that thought makes me feel like I’m going to be sick.
“I need to see him,” I whisper to no one in particular.
Annie squeezes my knee and then her hand finds mine.
I want to ask how long is too long . . . what does it mean if he doesn’t wake up . . . but I can’t let my fears take flight. I can’t speak that out into the universe.
I’ve been nervous a time or two in my life, but nothing like this. My entire insides want to give way to the emotion that’s been bubbling up since the moment I heard those sirens. My muscles hurt from struggling to keep myself from shaking.
Looking at my watch, I do the math. It was a little after ten this morning when I heard the sirens, and now it’s almost noon. So, two hours have passed since this all started. Two hours isn’t that long, right? The drive here was half of that. Surely, he’s awake by now. Surely, they’re just cleaning him up before they come out and tell us that everything’s fine.
With a bolt, I stand up out of the hard plastic seat, and I begin to walk down the
He’s happy.
He’s living a life I’m no longer a part of.
He smiles as he scans the room and when our eyes meet, I can’t miss the slight change in his. Maybe it’s regret? Maybe it’s sadness? Even though I can’t imagine him being sad on a night like this. So, I give him the best smile I can muster, because he deserves it.
He deserves happiness.
And so do I.
Camille
Present
MICAH AND HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND , Dani, showed up a few minutes after Annie. My daddy and Kay soon followed. The only person from our immediate family who isn’t here yet is Tucker. He drove by Ms. Becky’s to check on Carter before driving this way.
I’ll have to remember to give him an extra hug when he gets here.
As much of a pain in my ass as he was while we were growing up, he’s a wonderful uncle to Carter, and he’s pretty much the best brother I could ask for. Sure, he’s a little rough around the edges, but he’s soft on the inside, and he’s got a heart bigger than Dallas.
“Stop,” Annie says, gently pulling my hand away from my mouth. “You’re gonna bite them down to the quick.”
“I can’t help it.” When my teeth no longer have my nails to chew on, they go to my inner cheek. I’m sure I’ll draw blood on some part of my body before the doctor finally gets out here to talk to us. “I don’t know what’s taking so long. They should’ve come out here by now. I mean, it’s been—”
“They’ll be out soon.” Annie cuts me off mid-sentence. Her no-nonsense way is back in full force. She’s in control, like always. Her hand comes down on my knee, and she squeezes it in reassurance.
I take a minute to look around at the waiting room.
My daddy and Sam are over in one corner talking, and they look very serious. Both of them have their arms crossed over their chests and their brows are furrowed. I can’t make out what they’re saying, but I hear the low murmurs. Kay is sitting on the other side of me, flipping through a magazine, but I can tell she’s not looking at it. It’s just giving her something to do to occupy the minutes. Micah and Dani are sitting across from us, and Micah’s face is hard. He hasn’t taken his eyes off the door that leads to the ER since he sat down.
Dani, the newest addition to our group, is sitting at Micah’s side, rubbing soothing circles on his back. Every once in a while her eyes turn to me and the smile she gives is sad. She loves Deacon. They made a connection when she came to do an article on the plantation a few months ago. Deacon showed her around and gave her insider information on Pockets. They’ve been buds ever since. So, I know this is affecting her as much as the rest of us.
The longer we wait, the more the bottom falls out of my stomach and my heart. I’m not a medical professional, but I know that if Deacon is in some kind of coma or something, the longer he’s out, the worse it is. And that thought makes me feel like I’m going to be sick.
“I need to see him,” I whisper to no one in particular.
Annie squeezes my knee and then her hand finds mine.
I want to ask how long is too long . . . what does it mean if he doesn’t wake up . . . but I can’t let my fears take flight. I can’t speak that out into the universe.
I’ve been nervous a time or two in my life, but nothing like this. My entire insides want to give way to the emotion that’s been bubbling up since the moment I heard those sirens. My muscles hurt from struggling to keep myself from shaking.
Looking at my watch, I do the math. It was a little after ten this morning when I heard the sirens, and now it’s almost noon. So, two hours have passed since this all started. Two hours isn’t that long, right? The drive here was half of that. Surely, he’s awake by now. Surely, they’re just cleaning him up before they come out and tell us that everything’s fine.
With a bolt, I stand up out of the hard plastic seat, and I begin to walk down the
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