how to find me.
There’s a problem, though. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about last night. The look in his eyes when he undressed me. The half-smile on his face as his fingers memorized the slopes and planes of my body. How he tasted. How he smelled. The crush of his body against mine. It all flickers through my brain like a thousand movie stills in sequence. Over and over the memories of last night flip through my mind in an endless loop. The thought of him makes my heart hammer against my ribs.
And then I remember the pain of not knowing where I stand with him. Is this just something guys do? They tell you you’re beautiful, and kiss you like they mean it, and tell you they love you, and then when you’re intimate with them but draw a line, do they just go away?
Should I have slept with him last night? We did everything but . Technically I’m still a virgin. Technically I’m alone right now. Technically I’m crying right now.
“Oh Allie,” Marissa says. She rubs my back as we walk out the door. Morty’s back at the apartment, playing with Joshie. He’s waiting for his sister to come pick the little boy up.
“Listen,” Marissa says. “I’ve got plenty of money for a fun day.” She checks her wallet and backpedals. “Um...a partially fun day.”
I can’t help but laugh.
“Let’s go walk around Rodeo Drive and not buy a thing, because we couldn’t even afford to buy a rubber band there.”
I snicker through a sniffle.
“And then,” she adds, “We’ll go to Griffith Park.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“You’ve never heard of Griffith Park?” Excitement infuses her words. “It’s this huge free park in Los Angeles, way up on top of the hills. We’ll be able to see for miles. And there’s this science museum, and...”
“Okay, okay. It sounds great.” Finding enthusiasm inside myself is like picking a winning lottery ticket right now.
“We have to take a bus to get there. A couple of buses,” she explains. “But first, let’s get a cup of coffee. We’ll splurge and get a mocha latte. And we’ll walk around Rodeo Drive like we have the money to be there.”
A smile plays at the corners of my lips. I can’t help it. I’m not wearing any makeup today. I know that if I do, I’ll end up with it all over my face from crying. I wipe the tears with the heels of my hands, and link my arms through hers. “Sounds like a plan,” I say. We begin the walk.
Her phone buzzes within five minutes.
“Seriously?” she says. “No way. There’s no way I’m going into work today!”
She hasn’t even looked at her phone. “What do you mean?” I ask, perplexed.
“It’s probably work. Someone called off and they need me to come in. I told them I needed today off, no matter what.” She looks at her phone. “Oh, wait! It’s not work. It’s someone calling from—well, that’s weird.”
“What?” I ask.
“It’s from our home town. The area code. A number from home.”
“Chase?” My heart fills like a helium balloon. It’s ready to explode or lift high into the sky.
She answers and says, “Hello?”
Chase? I mouth. A man’s voice mutters through the phone.
She shakes her head. “Not Chase,” she whispers.
The balloon in my chest pops.
“Is it Jeff?” I ask, my voice filled with disgust.
She covers the mouth part of the phone and says, “No, I know his number. Hang on.”
The murmur of the voice on the other end is too low for me to understand the words, but I understand Marissa’s face. Her jaw drops as the voice continues. “Oh, my God,” she says. All the blood drains out of her face, and she stops dead in the middle of the sidewalk. People walking behind us go around.
I stop, too. “What is it?” I grab her arm tightly.
She waves, and then holds up one finger, asking me to pause.
“Yes, yes, um...okay, officer.”
Officer? Is this the police department calling her? I widen my eyes and give her a frantic look.
“Yes,
There’s a problem, though. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about last night. The look in his eyes when he undressed me. The half-smile on his face as his fingers memorized the slopes and planes of my body. How he tasted. How he smelled. The crush of his body against mine. It all flickers through my brain like a thousand movie stills in sequence. Over and over the memories of last night flip through my mind in an endless loop. The thought of him makes my heart hammer against my ribs.
And then I remember the pain of not knowing where I stand with him. Is this just something guys do? They tell you you’re beautiful, and kiss you like they mean it, and tell you they love you, and then when you’re intimate with them but draw a line, do they just go away?
Should I have slept with him last night? We did everything but . Technically I’m still a virgin. Technically I’m alone right now. Technically I’m crying right now.
“Oh Allie,” Marissa says. She rubs my back as we walk out the door. Morty’s back at the apartment, playing with Joshie. He’s waiting for his sister to come pick the little boy up.
“Listen,” Marissa says. “I’ve got plenty of money for a fun day.” She checks her wallet and backpedals. “Um...a partially fun day.”
I can’t help but laugh.
“Let’s go walk around Rodeo Drive and not buy a thing, because we couldn’t even afford to buy a rubber band there.”
I snicker through a sniffle.
“And then,” she adds, “We’ll go to Griffith Park.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“You’ve never heard of Griffith Park?” Excitement infuses her words. “It’s this huge free park in Los Angeles, way up on top of the hills. We’ll be able to see for miles. And there’s this science museum, and...”
“Okay, okay. It sounds great.” Finding enthusiasm inside myself is like picking a winning lottery ticket right now.
“We have to take a bus to get there. A couple of buses,” she explains. “But first, let’s get a cup of coffee. We’ll splurge and get a mocha latte. And we’ll walk around Rodeo Drive like we have the money to be there.”
A smile plays at the corners of my lips. I can’t help it. I’m not wearing any makeup today. I know that if I do, I’ll end up with it all over my face from crying. I wipe the tears with the heels of my hands, and link my arms through hers. “Sounds like a plan,” I say. We begin the walk.
Her phone buzzes within five minutes.
“Seriously?” she says. “No way. There’s no way I’m going into work today!”
She hasn’t even looked at her phone. “What do you mean?” I ask, perplexed.
“It’s probably work. Someone called off and they need me to come in. I told them I needed today off, no matter what.” She looks at her phone. “Oh, wait! It’s not work. It’s someone calling from—well, that’s weird.”
“What?” I ask.
“It’s from our home town. The area code. A number from home.”
“Chase?” My heart fills like a helium balloon. It’s ready to explode or lift high into the sky.
She answers and says, “Hello?”
Chase? I mouth. A man’s voice mutters through the phone.
She shakes her head. “Not Chase,” she whispers.
The balloon in my chest pops.
“Is it Jeff?” I ask, my voice filled with disgust.
She covers the mouth part of the phone and says, “No, I know his number. Hang on.”
The murmur of the voice on the other end is too low for me to understand the words, but I understand Marissa’s face. Her jaw drops as the voice continues. “Oh, my God,” she says. All the blood drains out of her face, and she stops dead in the middle of the sidewalk. People walking behind us go around.
I stop, too. “What is it?” I grab her arm tightly.
She waves, and then holds up one finger, asking me to pause.
“Yes, yes, um...okay, officer.”
Officer? Is this the police department calling her? I widen my eyes and give her a frantic look.
“Yes,
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