Changing Tunes by Heather Gunter, Raelene Green Page A

just a guess, but I have a feeling your dad probably paid the first year for your housing and tuition. Am I correct?”
    I nod my head, confirming her suspicions.
    “Excellent,” she says, rubbing her hands together in excitement. This is what we are going to do. “We know you’re safe this year, since he’s already paid for your tuition and housing.”
    I begin to see where she’s going with this, but let her continue.
    “You can tell me no, Ash, the choice is yours, but if you want to get out from under his thumb, then you need to do something drastic to show him you mean business. Take his control away.” She takes a deep breath and continues, “This also means being responsible and taking care of your tuition and housing yourself, no more of daddy’s money. You will need to be financially responsible on your own. You know that’s going to be the first thing he throws in your face.”
    I nod; she’s right, he definitely will use it to try and control me. The funny thing is I have never cared about money. It’s always been important to him, though.
    “But you have time, Ash. You can begin to pull away slowly, but sophomore year, you need to be ready to have financial aid. Fill out every grant you can find to help pay for your college and housing. There are so many out there, and I know you’d qualify. I’m sure he had high expectations when you were in high school regarding your grades, right?”
    “Are you kidding? He expected nothing less, he would have flayed me for sure.” I say.
    “Of that, I have no doubt,” Mac says, smiling. “So hit him where it counts, below the belt, so to speak. Take care of yourself financially, and he can’t control you through the money. Keep in mind he’s sure to take your new car.”
    Truthfully, I never gave a damn about the car. The car was his idea, and it was all about impressions. He knows people here. What would it look like to have his precious daughter riding around in a less than stellar car? In his eyes that would look very bad. I never asked for it, so he can certainly have it back.
    “I don’t care about the car. I never did.” I whisper quietly.
    ‘You’ve got this, Ash. You have a whole year to confront him. He can’t do anything except take your car away. Imagine how you will feel when you’re able to take the classes you want to take. To be whom you want to be. What do you want to be when you grow up, Ash?”
    It’s a thought I have never entertained. Never in a million years. Who do I want to be? When I came here, I had resigned myself that this was my life and there was no changing it. That’s what I had to look forward to. For the first time, I see a glimmer of hope, and it is all because of Mac.
    I sheepishly look at her and say, “I couldn’t do this without you. I would never have had the courage to do this without you.”
    “What are best friends for?” she laughs, but quickly turns serious again. “Actually, I don’t believe that for a moment. I think you definitely would have taken the leap to separate yourself from your dad. Not now, probably, but eventually. I just think you needed a good friend to be there for you.”
    “A best friend,” I say a little bit in awe. “I’ve never had one before.”
    “You do now, girl. I’ve got your back.”
    “I’ve never had anyone have my back before, either. They always wanted to talk shit about me, which I deserved.” I hang my head in shame.
    “From what you told me, you were a bitch, but you haven’t been since I met you. You aren’t that person anymore. Remember? This is the year of starting over. This is your new beginning.”
    A weight lifts off me, and I feel like a renewed person. Okay, maybe not renewed, but a better, more improved person. Someone I can actually like. Maybe someone worth loving, down the road. I’m not sure why, but my mind wanders to Zeke and then he’s all I see.
    “Earth to Ash.” Mac giggles, moving her hands back in forth in front of my face.