journal.
Her friends knew immediately. She walked into home room the morning after her first time, and Frannie flashed thumbs-up from across the room. By study hall, Rachel and Kimberly were begging for details Kelly suddenly realized she didn’t want to share. Her friends were all on their second or third partners, happily experimenting, no strings attached.
Just like Kelly might have been if love hadn’t entered the picture. Her friends were the ones who had played bride all the time, while Kelly holed up in her room with a chemistry set. Frannie and Kim had had their weddings planned from gown to party favors by the time they hit puberty. All they needed was a guy in a tux to come along, and their dreams would come true.
She wanted so much more than that. She wanted to go to school, get her degree, maybe go on to do graduate work, then travel before she was too old and settled to see the world. And the best part of all was that Seth wanted the same things she wanted.
Her friends took chances and never got caught. Funny how something that used to worry her now made her feel a little better. She and Seth were always careful. They used condoms. They even kept an eye on the time of month, something nobody did anymore, not even the most devout Catholics. That was why she was so sure this couldn’t be happening. There had to be some other reason for the way she had been feeling. Another reason why she had puked her brains out in the bathroom in front of—God help her—Hannah. Maybe she was getting some kind of nasty springtime flu. Or maybe it was food poisoning. Or maybe the stress of juggling schoolwork and her after-class clubs and her different jobs was taking a toll. It could be anything. It didn’t have to be that she was pregnant.
She waited until her aunt made the left turn onto Bay Bridge Avenue, then jumped into her car. Five minutes later, she pulled into the parking lot behind the lake on the outskirts of town, where Seth was waiting for her in his brother’s Honda.
“Missed you,” he said as she slid into the passenger seat next to him.
“Good,” she said after they had kissed hello. “I missed you, too.”
“How long can you stay?”
She glanced at her watch, the one that had been her mother’s high school graduation present eighteen years ago. “Thirteen minutes.” She sighed. “How about you?”
“Eight,” he said. “I’m working two extra hours tonight.” He pumped gas three nights a week.
“You work too hard.”
“Yeah,” he said with a grin. “So do you.”
Kelly had grown up surrounded by love, but by the time her tenth birthday rolled around, she knew she would have to work hard to make her dreams come true. Firemen’s kids didn’t go to NYU or Columbia, not without a scholarship. And not without a healthy nest egg saved up from waiting tables, cleaning houses, and ringing up groceries.
“I’m not a rich kid like you,” she said, teasing him. His family struggled as hard as hers did. “I have to.”
“So do I,” he said.
It was one of the many reasons why she loved him, had loved him for as long as she could remember. He worked hard for everything he had. Paper routes as a little kid. Shoveling sidewalks in the winter and mowing lawns in the summer. When he was fifteen, he discovered he had a talent for carpentry, and these days he made a fair chunk of change doing odd jobs for people like Olivia Westmore and Rose DiFalco. “He has real talent,” Rose had commented just last week. “The work he did on the back porch was first rate.”
You would have thought he’d won a Nobel prize the way her heart had swelled with pride. It felt good when someone complimented Seth, better even than when the compliments were aimed in her direction.
His hands slid along her shoulders and down her arms, and she shivered with longing. You couldn’t turn back once you took the leap. Once you knew how it felt when skin met skin, once you understood what it meant to not know
Her friends knew immediately. She walked into home room the morning after her first time, and Frannie flashed thumbs-up from across the room. By study hall, Rachel and Kimberly were begging for details Kelly suddenly realized she didn’t want to share. Her friends were all on their second or third partners, happily experimenting, no strings attached.
Just like Kelly might have been if love hadn’t entered the picture. Her friends were the ones who had played bride all the time, while Kelly holed up in her room with a chemistry set. Frannie and Kim had had their weddings planned from gown to party favors by the time they hit puberty. All they needed was a guy in a tux to come along, and their dreams would come true.
She wanted so much more than that. She wanted to go to school, get her degree, maybe go on to do graduate work, then travel before she was too old and settled to see the world. And the best part of all was that Seth wanted the same things she wanted.
Her friends took chances and never got caught. Funny how something that used to worry her now made her feel a little better. She and Seth were always careful. They used condoms. They even kept an eye on the time of month, something nobody did anymore, not even the most devout Catholics. That was why she was so sure this couldn’t be happening. There had to be some other reason for the way she had been feeling. Another reason why she had puked her brains out in the bathroom in front of—God help her—Hannah. Maybe she was getting some kind of nasty springtime flu. Or maybe it was food poisoning. Or maybe the stress of juggling schoolwork and her after-class clubs and her different jobs was taking a toll. It could be anything. It didn’t have to be that she was pregnant.
She waited until her aunt made the left turn onto Bay Bridge Avenue, then jumped into her car. Five minutes later, she pulled into the parking lot behind the lake on the outskirts of town, where Seth was waiting for her in his brother’s Honda.
“Missed you,” he said as she slid into the passenger seat next to him.
“Good,” she said after they had kissed hello. “I missed you, too.”
“How long can you stay?”
She glanced at her watch, the one that had been her mother’s high school graduation present eighteen years ago. “Thirteen minutes.” She sighed. “How about you?”
“Eight,” he said. “I’m working two extra hours tonight.” He pumped gas three nights a week.
“You work too hard.”
“Yeah,” he said with a grin. “So do you.”
Kelly had grown up surrounded by love, but by the time her tenth birthday rolled around, she knew she would have to work hard to make her dreams come true. Firemen’s kids didn’t go to NYU or Columbia, not without a scholarship. And not without a healthy nest egg saved up from waiting tables, cleaning houses, and ringing up groceries.
“I’m not a rich kid like you,” she said, teasing him. His family struggled as hard as hers did. “I have to.”
“So do I,” he said.
It was one of the many reasons why she loved him, had loved him for as long as she could remember. He worked hard for everything he had. Paper routes as a little kid. Shoveling sidewalks in the winter and mowing lawns in the summer. When he was fifteen, he discovered he had a talent for carpentry, and these days he made a fair chunk of change doing odd jobs for people like Olivia Westmore and Rose DiFalco. “He has real talent,” Rose had commented just last week. “The work he did on the back porch was first rate.”
You would have thought he’d won a Nobel prize the way her heart had swelled with pride. It felt good when someone complimented Seth, better even than when the compliments were aimed in her direction.
His hands slid along her shoulders and down her arms, and she shivered with longing. You couldn’t turn back once you took the leap. Once you knew how it felt when skin met skin, once you understood what it meant to not know
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