understand," Levits said.
"No, of course not. That's why I was awake when everyone else was asleep. I have my own horrors, Levits."
"Yes, but nothing that has ever happened
. . .
None of it has been your fault," Levits said as he sat up in bed.
RJ laughed, although definitely not amused. "I wish I could convince myself of that. Everyone has their what if's, Levits. What if I'd done that instead of this, or this instead of that? If only I'd paid more attention, if only I'd gone forward instead of backwards. If I'd been faster, smarter, more alert. If only the fucking bedroom door hadn't been closed. If only I hadn't let David leave," RJ said. "I'm sure whatever you think you have done was no more your fault."
He nodded. She really did understand.
She smiled at him then. "So, I've been thinking about what you said
. . .
"
"I'm sorry, RJ. Really sorry," Levits said.
"No, you were right. The only ironic part is that you're no better than I am. I wasn't the only one who pulled back that night, you know, and I'm not the only one who spends the day sitting around mentally licking my wounds."
"All right, I'll accept that. So I guess the question is what are we going to do about it?"
"Poley seems to think I'm moody because of PMS. I personally think it has a hell of a lot more to do with sexual tension," she said.
"I've only had sex – besides with myself – six times in the last three years," Levits announced.
"Well that would give you about six up on me," RJ said.
"Are you serious?" Levits asked in disbelief.
"Would anyone joke about a thing like that?" RJ took a deep breath and looked around. "You know that we have chemistry."
"Yes, of course we do, that's why we spend so much time biting each other's heads off," Levits said. "Do we have to analyze it, RJ?"
"No." RJ pushed him back onto the bed and moved to lie on top of him. Her lips came down on his, and passion flared. Before he knew what had happened they were naked and engaging in the most satisfying and amazing sex of his life. Then she had orgasm, and he felt his limbs being pulled apart. He looked down at his ultimate pain, and his dick was gone.
Levits woke up screaming. His door opened, and RJ stuck her head in. "You OK, Levits?"
"Stay away from me! Just stay away!"
RJ shrugged and walked away. Levits looked at the clock; it was time for his shift. He remembered that was another thing he hated about space flight – no concept of day or night.
"Levits, get in here!" RJ ordered abruptly. Obviously something was terribly wrong.
Levits pulled on his pants and ran down the hall without his shirt and shoes. He found RJ in David's room. David was curled up in the middle of his bed crying.
"What's wrong with him?" Levits asked.
"We're all going to fall!" David cried. "We're all going to fall, and there's nothing to land on. You just float out there, forever, like the living dead!"
"Shit!" Levits exclaimed.
He looked at RJ, and together they said, "Space sickness."
RJ sent Levits to get Topaz and a sedative. She sat down beside David and stroked his back.
"It's all right, David. No one's going to fall. You just have to calm down. This sometimes happens to first time spacers. You should have told someone how you felt; we could have given you something that would help."
"My stomach. No matter how much I eat, it feels empty," David cried.
Topaz ran with the pocket medic, struck a pose, and yelled, "Oh, no! It's space madness!'
"Don't flake out on me now, Old Man, I need your help," RJ said in an agitated tone.
"I was just trying to add a little levity to the situation. Besides, do you know how long I have waited to say
. . .
Oh no it's space madness!" Seeing that no one was laughing, Topaz held the pocket medic over David's arm, and it gave him a shot of sedative. A few minutes later David was asleep.
"I'm sorry, RJ,
"No, of course not. That's why I was awake when everyone else was asleep. I have my own horrors, Levits."
"Yes, but nothing that has ever happened
. . .
None of it has been your fault," Levits said as he sat up in bed.
RJ laughed, although definitely not amused. "I wish I could convince myself of that. Everyone has their what if's, Levits. What if I'd done that instead of this, or this instead of that? If only I'd paid more attention, if only I'd gone forward instead of backwards. If I'd been faster, smarter, more alert. If only the fucking bedroom door hadn't been closed. If only I hadn't let David leave," RJ said. "I'm sure whatever you think you have done was no more your fault."
He nodded. She really did understand.
She smiled at him then. "So, I've been thinking about what you said
. . .
"
"I'm sorry, RJ. Really sorry," Levits said.
"No, you were right. The only ironic part is that you're no better than I am. I wasn't the only one who pulled back that night, you know, and I'm not the only one who spends the day sitting around mentally licking my wounds."
"All right, I'll accept that. So I guess the question is what are we going to do about it?"
"Poley seems to think I'm moody because of PMS. I personally think it has a hell of a lot more to do with sexual tension," she said.
"I've only had sex – besides with myself – six times in the last three years," Levits announced.
"Well that would give you about six up on me," RJ said.
"Are you serious?" Levits asked in disbelief.
"Would anyone joke about a thing like that?" RJ took a deep breath and looked around. "You know that we have chemistry."
"Yes, of course we do, that's why we spend so much time biting each other's heads off," Levits said. "Do we have to analyze it, RJ?"
"No." RJ pushed him back onto the bed and moved to lie on top of him. Her lips came down on his, and passion flared. Before he knew what had happened they were naked and engaging in the most satisfying and amazing sex of his life. Then she had orgasm, and he felt his limbs being pulled apart. He looked down at his ultimate pain, and his dick was gone.
Levits woke up screaming. His door opened, and RJ stuck her head in. "You OK, Levits?"
"Stay away from me! Just stay away!"
RJ shrugged and walked away. Levits looked at the clock; it was time for his shift. He remembered that was another thing he hated about space flight – no concept of day or night.
"Levits, get in here!" RJ ordered abruptly. Obviously something was terribly wrong.
Levits pulled on his pants and ran down the hall without his shirt and shoes. He found RJ in David's room. David was curled up in the middle of his bed crying.
"What's wrong with him?" Levits asked.
"We're all going to fall!" David cried. "We're all going to fall, and there's nothing to land on. You just float out there, forever, like the living dead!"
"Shit!" Levits exclaimed.
He looked at RJ, and together they said, "Space sickness."
RJ sent Levits to get Topaz and a sedative. She sat down beside David and stroked his back.
"It's all right, David. No one's going to fall. You just have to calm down. This sometimes happens to first time spacers. You should have told someone how you felt; we could have given you something that would help."
"My stomach. No matter how much I eat, it feels empty," David cried.
Topaz ran with the pocket medic, struck a pose, and yelled, "Oh, no! It's space madness!'
"Don't flake out on me now, Old Man, I need your help," RJ said in an agitated tone.
"I was just trying to add a little levity to the situation. Besides, do you know how long I have waited to say
. . .
Oh no it's space madness!" Seeing that no one was laughing, Topaz held the pocket medic over David's arm, and it gave him a shot of sedative. A few minutes later David was asleep.
"I'm sorry, RJ,
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