Cecily Von Ziegesar by Cum Laude (v5) Page A

explained. “We hit the Dumpsters out behind the Shop ’n Save. Stuff they throw away you wouldn’t believe. Last week I found a perfect pineapple. The best pineapple I ever tasted.” Grover ran his hand over his shaved head. Most of the time he wore a red bandanna tied like Aunt Jemima’s, but tonight he was going commando. “Come with us. You’ll see. Best food you’ve ever had, completely free. And the store doesn’t care cuz they’re throwing it out anyway.”
    Nick frowned. He liked the idea of free food, but it seemed like more trouble than it was worth. Was there some profound philosophical point being made by rooting around in Dumpsters for your food? After all, the tuition at Dexter was pretty high. The Grannies could probably afford groceries. But it seemed like something Laird Castle would have done.
    â€œLet’s hit it!” Liam jangled his car keys. His orange and gray wool flap hat was pulled down so far that his murky hazel eyes were almost completely obscured. Nick flipped up the flaps on his own hat in an effort to distinguish himself.
    Moments later he sat in the back of Liam’s red Saab, listening to Phish sing “Proud Mary.” The road into town was darkand the air was chilly. Nick thought he might have even seen a stray snowflake.
    He wondered if Shipley and Tom had finished having sex. The sight of her in Tom’s bed depressed him. He didn’t like Tom to begin with, and the fact that Shipley had chosen Tom over him or even that redheaded local boy made him question her judgment. Tom ate meat three times a day, he was totally unspiritual, he snored and farted loudly in his sleep, he’d signed up for the expensive laundry service instead of washing his own socks and underwear in the laundry room down the hall, and he wanted to major in Economics with only a concentration in Studio Art. Tom also refused to address Nick directly except to say, “See you later, man.” Tom was a dick.
    We are all one and connected, Nick reminded himself. I am you, you are me. Your good fortune is my good fortune. Your misfortune is my misfortune. If Tom is a dick, then I am a dick. Hopefully Tom’s redeeming qualities would reveal themselves in time.
    Shop ’n Save bore a giant neon orange sign and seemed to be the only place open in town. Even so, the parking lot was nearly empty.
    â€œShhh,” Wills whispered as they clambered out of the car. “Be werry, werry quiet.”
    â€œHey dude, you knit?” Liam whispered, tweaking Nick’s hat as they approached the Dumpster.
    â€œNah,” Nick responded. It occurred to him that the Grannies might be a harmless-looking Grateful Dead cover band by day and torturous psycho killers by night. Had they brought him here to stuff his mouth full of brown bananas so he couldn’t scream while they took turns scalping him and pulling out his toenails? He pulled the flaps of his hat down over his ears again, steeling himself.
    The Dumpster was gigantic and black and stank of rotting cabbages. The Grannies were experts. They had their method down pat. First Grover got down on his hands and knees. Then Liam climbed onto Grover’s back and got down on his hands and knees. Then Wills climbed aboard and did the same, his red and black skirt draping elegantly over Liam’s shoulders.
    â€œCome on,” Wills called to Nick. “You go first. You gotta experience a virgin dive.”
    Nick climbed the human ladder, careful to distribute his weight evenly. When he was up on Wills’s back, he peered into the blackness of the Dumpster.
    â€œGo on, get in there,” Liam urged.
    The sickly sweet smell of rotten fruit was so powerful Nick could hardly breathe. He closed his eyes and, using Will’s back as a springboard, somersaulted into the depths of the Dumpster.
    â€œCannonball!” Grover shouted as Nick dropped down into the garbage.
    His back hit something hard