helping with that, even though his extreme devotion still confuses me, and so do his questions. His curiosity about me is endearing and odd at the same time. When I wanted to know why he keeps asking these questions about my past, my personal life, my darkest secrets, he just said that he wants to know as much as possible about me.
I tried to convince him that there is not much to know about me, that my life is and always has been uneventful, but he has never been content with that statement.
“You don’t have to worry,” I assure Amanda, who is still watching me from the side, leaning in my door frame with her arms crossed in front of her chest. “I may remind you of a teenager right now, but I’m still a big girl. I can watch out for myself.”
“Ah, I know, I know,” she says. “Don’t mind me, I’m probably just jealous.”
I turn around, catching a smirk from her.
“I mean, come on,” she adds. “He’s a great catch! Handsome, rich and didn’t you mention that he is a fantastic lover, too?”
She grins at me while my cheeks blush as if I really was that teenage girl she just claimed me to be. I have a tendency to be a little too open in front of Amanda sometimes.
“In any case, he keeps you off the rooftops,” Amanda continues, sending a cold shiver along my spine.
It’s a mystery to me how I managed to keep that terrifying encounter from her. She has commented on my nightly rooftop excursions and the fact that they have stopped so many times, yet I never told her why that was. It almost feels as if telling her would make everything more realistic. If no one but me—and the killer—knows about it, I could still convince myself that it never happened. Despite the police reports that verified an actual murder taking place that night.
I swallow hard, trying to get rid of these dark memories. They make my heart sink to the bottom of a black sea that resides within my chest, storing all the bad memories that I have tried to get rid of.
Yet I used to dwell in them every time I sat up there, scanning the city skyline below and tracing the streets that used to be my home, a long time ago. A different life that had a different me as the protagonist, a younger me, a poorer me, a sadder me. It strikes me as a sick irony that it took another man’s death for me to stop following that unhealthy habit.
“Aren’t you late?” Amanda interrupts my dark rumination.
I glance over to the clock on my nightstand. Damn, she’s right.
“Oh, yeah!” I exclaim, hurrying to gather my stuff.
I shouldn’t do this. All those horrible thoughts and memories have no room when I am about to meet him. Although I am sure that it will be easy to forget about them once I am standing in front of him.
That’s how it’s been every time I saw him so far.
However, tonight will prove to be very different.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Mars
“Shit, shit, shit man! We have to clean this up!”
Frank and Victor, the big guys, are close to panicking and frantically gesture around, while their eyes are traveling back and forth between Joseph, me and the body on the floor.
“What the fuck is wrong with this kid?!” Frank yells in my direction.
I flinch and instinctively lower my arms, still holding the gun that I should not be holding.
Big Joseph is standing next to me, but unlike his henchmen he does not seem to be shocked or in panic at all. He radiates the same calm dominance that always surrounds him.
He is my hero, my idol. A man of his word, a man with power, and he just owns this power by pure presence. I want to be like him one day.
Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me.
“What the fuck, man!” Frank adds as no one is saying a word.
I step back in fear when he approaches me, but much to my surprise, Joseph is stepping between us.
“Leave him alone!” he barks at Frank, and both him and Victor flinch as if they have just been hit.
“Are you for real, man?” Frank addresses his boss in the most
I tried to convince him that there is not much to know about me, that my life is and always has been uneventful, but he has never been content with that statement.
“You don’t have to worry,” I assure Amanda, who is still watching me from the side, leaning in my door frame with her arms crossed in front of her chest. “I may remind you of a teenager right now, but I’m still a big girl. I can watch out for myself.”
“Ah, I know, I know,” she says. “Don’t mind me, I’m probably just jealous.”
I turn around, catching a smirk from her.
“I mean, come on,” she adds. “He’s a great catch! Handsome, rich and didn’t you mention that he is a fantastic lover, too?”
She grins at me while my cheeks blush as if I really was that teenage girl she just claimed me to be. I have a tendency to be a little too open in front of Amanda sometimes.
“In any case, he keeps you off the rooftops,” Amanda continues, sending a cold shiver along my spine.
It’s a mystery to me how I managed to keep that terrifying encounter from her. She has commented on my nightly rooftop excursions and the fact that they have stopped so many times, yet I never told her why that was. It almost feels as if telling her would make everything more realistic. If no one but me—and the killer—knows about it, I could still convince myself that it never happened. Despite the police reports that verified an actual murder taking place that night.
I swallow hard, trying to get rid of these dark memories. They make my heart sink to the bottom of a black sea that resides within my chest, storing all the bad memories that I have tried to get rid of.
Yet I used to dwell in them every time I sat up there, scanning the city skyline below and tracing the streets that used to be my home, a long time ago. A different life that had a different me as the protagonist, a younger me, a poorer me, a sadder me. It strikes me as a sick irony that it took another man’s death for me to stop following that unhealthy habit.
“Aren’t you late?” Amanda interrupts my dark rumination.
I glance over to the clock on my nightstand. Damn, she’s right.
“Oh, yeah!” I exclaim, hurrying to gather my stuff.
I shouldn’t do this. All those horrible thoughts and memories have no room when I am about to meet him. Although I am sure that it will be easy to forget about them once I am standing in front of him.
That’s how it’s been every time I saw him so far.
However, tonight will prove to be very different.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Mars
“Shit, shit, shit man! We have to clean this up!”
Frank and Victor, the big guys, are close to panicking and frantically gesture around, while their eyes are traveling back and forth between Joseph, me and the body on the floor.
“What the fuck is wrong with this kid?!” Frank yells in my direction.
I flinch and instinctively lower my arms, still holding the gun that I should not be holding.
Big Joseph is standing next to me, but unlike his henchmen he does not seem to be shocked or in panic at all. He radiates the same calm dominance that always surrounds him.
He is my hero, my idol. A man of his word, a man with power, and he just owns this power by pure presence. I want to be like him one day.
Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me.
“What the fuck, man!” Frank adds as no one is saying a word.
I step back in fear when he approaches me, but much to my surprise, Joseph is stepping between us.
“Leave him alone!” he barks at Frank, and both him and Victor flinch as if they have just been hit.
“Are you for real, man?” Frank addresses his boss in the most
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