Cathy Hopkins - [Mates, Dates 06] by Dates Mates, Mad Mistakes (Html) Page A

asked him what school he went to and he said, “The
school of life.” I asked him what birth sign he was, as I thought I could do a
horoscope to see if we’re compatible. He said, “Marsupian.”’
    Lucy laughed. ‘Marsupian.
At least he didn’t say he was from Uranus.’
    ‘I even tried your
quiz, Lucy. You know, the one about your three favourite animals and why?’
    ‘What did he say?’
    ‘First, he went a bit
funny and asked if it was one of those girlie magazine quizzes on how to pigeonhole
a boy. Then he said, “Number one: Bugs Bunny because he’s got big furry feet.
Number two: Shrek from the movie because he’s green and rubbery. And number
three: a Teletubby because although they’re not real animals, they’re sure as
hell not human.’”
    ‘So he wasn’t taking
it seriously?’
    ‘He doesn’t seem to
take anything seriously,’ I said, and I told her about him leaving me to get
home on my own.
    ‘That’s sucks,’ said
Lucy ‘Bin him.’
    ‘Do you think?’
    ‘Definitely. He may be
gorgeous and different, but I think it’s really uncool for a boy to leave a
girl stranded on the street when it’s late.’
    ‘That’s what Tony
said.’
    ‘Plus, the way he
evaded giving you any information about himself,’ she continued. ‘It seems like
he won’t let you get too close. All those jokey answers. I’ve heard Mum talk
about clients who do that. She says people use humour as a block or defence
sometimes.’
    Lucy’s mum works as a
counsellor. She’s really cool and has good insight into people. She was certainly
right about Josh. It was like he was shielding me off. I knew nothing about him
and he knew everything about me, as I’d answered his questions truthfully.
    ‘You deserve better,’
said Lucy.
    ‘But he
is
a
good kisser…’
    ‘So? So are lots of
boys.’
    ‘You’re right. And I
did feel crapola standing on the street after he took off last night. Sort of
like I’d been discarded when my use ran out. Yeah, from this moment on, Josh is
Izzie history.’
     
    Excuses
for Handing in Homework Late
    By
Lal Lovering
     
    ·         My
homework is late because I was up all night writing letters demanding better
pay for teachers.
    ·         Aliens
from the planet Zog took my homework as an example of great Earth literature.
    ·         I
can’t give in my homework as we had burglars last night and they stole it.
    ·         I
couldn’t do my homework because I accidentally superglued my teeth together
and had to go to the dentist’s.
    ·         I
can’t hand in my homework because the cat had kittens in my schoolbag.
    ·         I’ve
been replaced by an evil robot replica and it doesn’t do homework.
    ·         I
couldn’t do my homework because my contact lenses stuck to my eyes.
    ·         I
couldn’t do my homework because I was grieving the death of my pet rock.
    ·         I
have done my homework, but it’s done in invisible ink.
    ·         My
homework’s late because I have an attention deficient disorder, er… what was
I saying?
    ·         I
didn’t do my homework because my inner child didn’t feel like it.
    ·                    
 
     
     
     
     
C h a p t e r   1 1
    Turnaround
     
    Contents - Prev / Next
     
    I was woken the next
day by a frantic phone call from Ben. ‘Izzie, have you by any chance taken the
CD with the songs we’re going to do tonight? Remember, I recorded it a few
weeks ago when we had that run-through?’
    I did remember. It was
a good session and everyone was in a really good mood, playing well and in
tune. There was a possibility that a talent scout might be at the gig tonight
and Ben wanted to be ready with a demo CD to give him.
    ‘I’ve looked
everywhere,’ Ben continued. ‘And I’ve spoken to the other lads. No one’s seen
it.’
    I felt my stomach
churn. I had a feeling that I knew
exactly
where it