Catholic Guilt and the Joy of Hating Men

Catholic Guilt and the Joy of Hating Men by Regan Wolfrom Page B

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Authors: Regan Wolfrom
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looked over to where the orange and brown gnomes had been. No one was there.
    She stood up and found her way to the Initiation Well, wondering if the gnomes were down there, but she felt silly and didn’t want to climb all the way back down. She turned and walked back towards the Chapel, wondering if she could trust what she remembered.
    On her way past one of the sculpted fountains, she saw her brother Bradley and his latest date, a dark-haired girl with a long and pretty nose. Each of them had a little plastic gnome bundled in their arms.
    “Hey,” Bradley said as he held up his orange-hatted gnome, “look what we found just outside the Chapel. Some jerk-off just left them in the grass.”
    Marguerite froze, unable to come up with something to say.
    “Are you okay?” the girl asked in passable English. “Is this your sister, Bradley?”
    “Uh, Marguerite,” Bradley said, “you with us?”
    “What are you going to do with those?” Marguerite asked.
    Bradley shrugged. “We might throw them down the well... that’d freak out whoever’s standing at the bottom.”
    Marguerite heard the chirp of a phone.
    Bradley pulled his phone from the pocket and glanced at the screen. “Dammit,” he said, “I think I’ve got to run.” He turned to his date. “I can drop you back in town if you’d like.”
    The girl gave a little pout. “But we just got here,” she said. “You promised you’d show me the well.”
    “I can show you the well,” Marguerite said with a smile. “Bradley talks about it so much that I’m more than qualified to give you the tour.”
    The girl looked her over for a moment before nodding. She gave Bradley a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you later?”
    Bradley smiled at the girl before shooting Marguerite a quick angry look. “I’ll see you guys,” he said before turning to leave.
    “Wait,” Marguerite said. “What about that garden gnome?”
    Bradley tossed the orange gnome over to her, and she caught it without trouble. He stomped away, and Marguerite led the pretty long-nosed girl back to the glade of flowers and mushrooms. She wanted to make sure she repeated each step exactly.
    They both nibbled on a mushroom as Marguerite started telling the story of the Templars, making it all up as she went. The girl seemed really nice, and Marguerite had a feeling that she would appreciate what was coming.
    But there was still one thing left to do.
    “Hold on,” Marguerite said.
    “What is it?”
    “Can I see your gnome?”
    She held out the brown-hatted gnome with the stern and serious face. Marguerite handed the orange one over in exchange; she had no need for it.
    “I like this one better,” the pretty Portuguese girl said. “He has a nice smile.”
    “We all have our favorites,” Marguerite said as she held the brown gnome close to her chest. “Now let me show you the Initiation Well. It’s really like nothing else in the world.”
    Marguerite started to feel her little gnome’s heart begin to beat; she knew it was real.

    Marguerite woke up in the sunlight again, with the pretty Portuguese girl still sleeping beside her.
    She gently squeezed the girl’s shoulder.
    “I don’t even know your name,” Marguerite said.
    “My name is Adelia,” she said. She started to cry.
    “What’s wrong?”
    “That was wrong. I don’t know what happened.”
    “It was magic. That’s a good thing.”
    “No,” Adelia said, “that’s not good. It’s wrong.”
    “Fine,” Marguerite said. “Whatever.” She stood up. “If you hated it so much you don’t ever have to do it again.”
    “Where are the... gnomos ?”
    “Probably where you and Bradley found them before.”
    “The chapel,” Adelia said. “We must get them.”
    She got up and started walking briskly toward the chapel.
    Marguerite felt she had no choice but to follow.
    They found the gnomes lying in a bed of purple and yellow flowers growing alongside the white walls of the chapel.
    Adelia picked up the

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