stuff.”
He wasn’t helping the situation. “Jerry.”
He looked at me, all innocence. “Geoff and Sean haven’t even been to one of my séances. How do they know? I’m very entertaining.”
Geoff and Sean looked like twin rockets about to go off.
“Everyone calm down,” I said. “Geoff, if you don’t want your aunt to come here, just tell her. Jerry isn’t going to drag her into the house.”
“She’s very stubborn,” Sean said. “If we tried to warn her, she’d come here just to spite us.”
“Well, don’t warn her. There’s really nothing to warn about.”
Geoff Snyder shook his finger in Jerry’s face. “I swear, if she gives you one penny, I’ll beat it out of your hide.”
Jerry reached in his pocket. “Why don’t I give you a penny now and save you the trouble?”
“Come on, Sean.”
The Snyders stalked down the porch steps to their car, got in, and drove away.
I turned to Jerry. His eyes were sparkling. “Why do you bait them like that?”
“Because they’re so damn serious about everything.”
“Geoff could wipe the floor with you.”
“No, he couldn’t.”
“You’ve spent so much of your life running away, I doubt you know how to make a fist.”
He did, threatening me with a grin. “Come on, give me your best shot.”
“Go get cleaned up. We’re due at the Amrys’ by seven.”
***
It didn’t take him long to get ready. After I convinced him his plain gold tie would look much nicer with his dark suit than the tie shaped like a rainbow trout, we drove out to Autumn Fields.
The Amrys’ home was a beautiful redwood house with a wraparound porch, set deep in a lush woodland. Shana met us at the door, radiant in a short red dress and golden jewelry. I heard Jerry gulp.
“Gosh,” he said under his breath as she led us through the living room to a candlelit dining room. “If I’d known the women in Celosia looked like this, I’d have moved here years ago.”
Hayden was in the dining room, rearranging the silverware. Twenty was helping him, oddly attractive in a short silver and lime-green kimono, red leather boots, and fishnet hose.
She came forward, her hand extended, bracelets jangling. “You must be Jerry Fairweather. Aren’t you brave to sleep in that haunted house?”
“I’m hoping it’s haunted,” he said. “I think it would be fun.”
“Well, you sound like my kind of guy.”
No, he’s my kind of guy, I wanted to say, but caught myself. If I started reacting to every innocent remark, my little secret wouldn’t be secret for long.
Shana said, “Twenty, why don’t you sit at the end, and I’ll put a man on either side of you.”
“Just the way I like it,” she said.
I sat next to Jerry and across from Shana. She raised her wineglass. “A toast, please, to new friends.”
“To new friends,” we all said. We clinked our glasses and drank.
“To new helpful friends,” Twenty said. “I just had the most amazing brainstorm. Jerry, you and Hayden would be perfect for my fashion show. Please say you’ll be in it.”
“A fashion show?” Jerry said.
“I’ve been after Hayden for months, but I bet he’ll do it if you will.”
Jerry looked to Hayden for an explanation. Hayden grimaced. “She wants me to model some suits.”
Shana joined in. “And I told her that was all right with me if she didn’t mess with his hair.”
Twenty sighed. “Oh, come on. I just want to spike it up a little. It’s not like I’m going to color it blue or something.”
Jerry grinned. “You can spike mine. It’s already out of control.”
“Really? That would be so cool!” She leaned over to press Hayden’s arm. “Come on, Hayden. I won’t do anything to your hair. Just come model a couple of suits. You’d look so good in black.”
Hayden didn’t look convinced. “So you want me to wear a suit and walk around in front of a bunch of people? This sounds suspiciously like a Mr. Celosia Pageant.”
“Oh, my, no. This is a
He wasn’t helping the situation. “Jerry.”
He looked at me, all innocence. “Geoff and Sean haven’t even been to one of my séances. How do they know? I’m very entertaining.”
Geoff and Sean looked like twin rockets about to go off.
“Everyone calm down,” I said. “Geoff, if you don’t want your aunt to come here, just tell her. Jerry isn’t going to drag her into the house.”
“She’s very stubborn,” Sean said. “If we tried to warn her, she’d come here just to spite us.”
“Well, don’t warn her. There’s really nothing to warn about.”
Geoff Snyder shook his finger in Jerry’s face. “I swear, if she gives you one penny, I’ll beat it out of your hide.”
Jerry reached in his pocket. “Why don’t I give you a penny now and save you the trouble?”
“Come on, Sean.”
The Snyders stalked down the porch steps to their car, got in, and drove away.
I turned to Jerry. His eyes were sparkling. “Why do you bait them like that?”
“Because they’re so damn serious about everything.”
“Geoff could wipe the floor with you.”
“No, he couldn’t.”
“You’ve spent so much of your life running away, I doubt you know how to make a fist.”
He did, threatening me with a grin. “Come on, give me your best shot.”
“Go get cleaned up. We’re due at the Amrys’ by seven.”
***
It didn’t take him long to get ready. After I convinced him his plain gold tie would look much nicer with his dark suit than the tie shaped like a rainbow trout, we drove out to Autumn Fields.
The Amrys’ home was a beautiful redwood house with a wraparound porch, set deep in a lush woodland. Shana met us at the door, radiant in a short red dress and golden jewelry. I heard Jerry gulp.
“Gosh,” he said under his breath as she led us through the living room to a candlelit dining room. “If I’d known the women in Celosia looked like this, I’d have moved here years ago.”
Hayden was in the dining room, rearranging the silverware. Twenty was helping him, oddly attractive in a short silver and lime-green kimono, red leather boots, and fishnet hose.
She came forward, her hand extended, bracelets jangling. “You must be Jerry Fairweather. Aren’t you brave to sleep in that haunted house?”
“I’m hoping it’s haunted,” he said. “I think it would be fun.”
“Well, you sound like my kind of guy.”
No, he’s my kind of guy, I wanted to say, but caught myself. If I started reacting to every innocent remark, my little secret wouldn’t be secret for long.
Shana said, “Twenty, why don’t you sit at the end, and I’ll put a man on either side of you.”
“Just the way I like it,” she said.
I sat next to Jerry and across from Shana. She raised her wineglass. “A toast, please, to new friends.”
“To new friends,” we all said. We clinked our glasses and drank.
“To new helpful friends,” Twenty said. “I just had the most amazing brainstorm. Jerry, you and Hayden would be perfect for my fashion show. Please say you’ll be in it.”
“A fashion show?” Jerry said.
“I’ve been after Hayden for months, but I bet he’ll do it if you will.”
Jerry looked to Hayden for an explanation. Hayden grimaced. “She wants me to model some suits.”
Shana joined in. “And I told her that was all right with me if she didn’t mess with his hair.”
Twenty sighed. “Oh, come on. I just want to spike it up a little. It’s not like I’m going to color it blue or something.”
Jerry grinned. “You can spike mine. It’s already out of control.”
“Really? That would be so cool!” She leaned over to press Hayden’s arm. “Come on, Hayden. I won’t do anything to your hair. Just come model a couple of suits. You’d look so good in black.”
Hayden didn’t look convinced. “So you want me to wear a suit and walk around in front of a bunch of people? This sounds suspiciously like a Mr. Celosia Pageant.”
“Oh, my, no. This is a
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