that.”
She bent her head and let her hair fall across her face, feeling shy before him. “What's the yes? You said it was yes and no. So, what's the yes?”
He looked up at the cloud covered sky and cleared his throat before answering. “The night of the moon festival, after you have performed the rituals, you and whichever consort is represented, will spend the night in a sanctuary.”
“And…”
His ears turned pink and he let out a nervous laugh. “Well, that's up to you.”
“I don't understand.”
Helfrich grimaced, and for the first time since they had started the conversation, he looked truly uncomfortable. “It's your choice if you want sanctify the union?”
“To have sex with them?”
She saw him cringe at her bluntness.
“And if I choose not to?”
He lifted his shoulders and shrugged. “That's your choice.”
Cara frowned and looked down at her hands, as she contemplated his words.
It was her choice. She could say yes or no, and no one could blame her either way. It was liberating in a way.
“We have sworn to protect you. To force you would be a sin against Annul.” Helfrich's voice was soft and kind as it always was when he was explaining something important. “It will always be your choice.”
“During the moon festival,” she said, trying to understand.
He cleared his throat and his face turned bright red. “You are free to choose who want, whenever you want.”
He threw himself back in the grass and flung an arm over his face in embarrassment.
“Whenever?” she repeated as she understood his meaning, and her mind reeled at the possibilities.
Helfrich groaned out loud, as if he would do anything for the conversation to end. “How did no one tell you all this?
“I don't know, maybe because I wasn't supposed to be queen,” she remarked sarcastically.
He turned to his side and lifted himself on one elbow. With his free hand he reached for her hand and held it gently.
“Sorry. I know this whole scenario is stressful for you.” He brushed the pad of his thumb over the back of her hand. “You can ask me whatever you want, and I promise I will always tell you the honest truth.”
She watched as his thumb traced the outline of her knuckles. She didn't pull away. She wouldn't do that to him. He had been more than kind to her, and if she was being honest with herself, she liked his touch. He didn't cause the same thrill of excitement that Finn did, but his touch was familiar and unthreatening.
She looked up and caught his green eyes watching her.
“Can I ask you one more thing?”
“Of course.”
“Do the other men know about this?”
He grinned and brought her hand to his lips and pressed a quick kiss on each knuckle before releasing it. He sat up slowly and wrapped his arms around his knees.
“Yes, they all know.
Cara let out a shuddering breath. Finn had talked about rules. About waiting for her. He had known that she could choose him whenever she wanted.
“It doesn't seem right.”
“It's the way things are. There's no right or wrong in it.”
Cara shook her head. She didn't believe that.
She had more questions, but he had already given her more information then she could process at the moment.
Studying him from the corner of her eye, she watched as a muscle twitched in his jaw, and she wondered what he was thinking.
The time would come when they would be joined together in a moon ceremony. She would spend the night with him, and it would be her choice to accept or deny him.
She hadn't thought of Helfrich in that way. He was her friend. She trusted him. Respected him. But for the first time she found herself wondering if there couldn't be more between them.
As she watched him, she found herself drawn to his mouth, and wondered if his lips would feel the same as Finn's had.
He said it was her choice.
Why shouldn't she choose him?
She found the thought both thrilling and terrifying.
He was so different from Finn. And yet she found she had
She bent her head and let her hair fall across her face, feeling shy before him. “What's the yes? You said it was yes and no. So, what's the yes?”
He looked up at the cloud covered sky and cleared his throat before answering. “The night of the moon festival, after you have performed the rituals, you and whichever consort is represented, will spend the night in a sanctuary.”
“And…”
His ears turned pink and he let out a nervous laugh. “Well, that's up to you.”
“I don't understand.”
Helfrich grimaced, and for the first time since they had started the conversation, he looked truly uncomfortable. “It's your choice if you want sanctify the union?”
“To have sex with them?”
She saw him cringe at her bluntness.
“And if I choose not to?”
He lifted his shoulders and shrugged. “That's your choice.”
Cara frowned and looked down at her hands, as she contemplated his words.
It was her choice. She could say yes or no, and no one could blame her either way. It was liberating in a way.
“We have sworn to protect you. To force you would be a sin against Annul.” Helfrich's voice was soft and kind as it always was when he was explaining something important. “It will always be your choice.”
“During the moon festival,” she said, trying to understand.
He cleared his throat and his face turned bright red. “You are free to choose who want, whenever you want.”
He threw himself back in the grass and flung an arm over his face in embarrassment.
“Whenever?” she repeated as she understood his meaning, and her mind reeled at the possibilities.
Helfrich groaned out loud, as if he would do anything for the conversation to end. “How did no one tell you all this?
“I don't know, maybe because I wasn't supposed to be queen,” she remarked sarcastically.
He turned to his side and lifted himself on one elbow. With his free hand he reached for her hand and held it gently.
“Sorry. I know this whole scenario is stressful for you.” He brushed the pad of his thumb over the back of her hand. “You can ask me whatever you want, and I promise I will always tell you the honest truth.”
She watched as his thumb traced the outline of her knuckles. She didn't pull away. She wouldn't do that to him. He had been more than kind to her, and if she was being honest with herself, she liked his touch. He didn't cause the same thrill of excitement that Finn did, but his touch was familiar and unthreatening.
She looked up and caught his green eyes watching her.
“Can I ask you one more thing?”
“Of course.”
“Do the other men know about this?”
He grinned and brought her hand to his lips and pressed a quick kiss on each knuckle before releasing it. He sat up slowly and wrapped his arms around his knees.
“Yes, they all know.
Cara let out a shuddering breath. Finn had talked about rules. About waiting for her. He had known that she could choose him whenever she wanted.
“It doesn't seem right.”
“It's the way things are. There's no right or wrong in it.”
Cara shook her head. She didn't believe that.
She had more questions, but he had already given her more information then she could process at the moment.
Studying him from the corner of her eye, she watched as a muscle twitched in his jaw, and she wondered what he was thinking.
The time would come when they would be joined together in a moon ceremony. She would spend the night with him, and it would be her choice to accept or deny him.
She hadn't thought of Helfrich in that way. He was her friend. She trusted him. Respected him. But for the first time she found herself wondering if there couldn't be more between them.
As she watched him, she found herself drawn to his mouth, and wondered if his lips would feel the same as Finn's had.
He said it was her choice.
Why shouldn't she choose him?
She found the thought both thrilling and terrifying.
He was so different from Finn. And yet she found she had
Similar Books
