your point. But I don't understand what the problem is. So you told some guy on a plane your secrets—'
'And now he's turned up at work.'
'What?' Lissy stares at me. 'Are you serious? Who is he?'
'He's …' I'm about to say Jack Harper's name when I remember the promise I made. 'He's just this … this guy who's come in to observe,' I say vaguely.
'Is he senior?'
'He's … yes. You could say he's pretty senior.'
'Blimey.' Lissy frowns, thinking for a few moments. 'Well, does it really matter? If he knows a few things about you.'
'Lissy, it wasn't just a few things.' I feel myself flush slightly. 'It was
everything
. I told him I faked a grade on my CV.'
'You faked a grade on your
CV
?' echoes Lissy in shock. 'Are you serious?'
'I told him about feeding Artemis's spider plant orange juice, I told him I find G-strings uncomfortable …'
I tail off to see Lissy staring at me, aghast.
'Emma,' she says at last. 'Have you ever
heard
the phrase "too much information?"'
'I didn't
mean
to say any of it!' I retort defensively. 'It just kind of came out! I'd had three vodkas, and I thought we were about to die. Honestly, Lissy, you would have been the same. Everyone was screaming, people were praying, the plane was lurching around …'
'So you blab all your secrets to your boss.'
'But he
wasn't
my boss on the plane!' I cry in frustration. 'He was just some stranger. I was never supposed to see him again!'
There's silence as Lissy takes this all in.
'You know, this is like what happened to my cousin,' she says at last. 'She went to a party, and there, right in front of her, was the doctor who'd delivered her baby two months before.'
'Ooh.' I pull a face.
'Exactly! She said she was so embarrassed, she had to leave. I mean, he'd seen everything! She said somehow it didn't matter when she was in a hospital room, but when she saw him standing there, holding a glass of wine and chatting about house prices, it was a different matter.'
'Well, this is the same,' I say hopelessly. 'He knows all my most intimate, personal details. But the difference is, I can't just leave! I have to sit there and pretend to be a good employee. And he
knows
I'm not.'
'So what are you going to do?'
'I don't know! I suppose all I can do is try to avoid him.'
'How long is he over for?'
'The rest of the week,' I say despairingly. 'The whole week.'
I pick up the zapper and turn on the television and for a few moments we stare silently at a load of dancing models in Gap jeans.
The ad finishes, and I look up again, to see Lissy looking at me curiously.
'What?' I say. 'What is it?'
'Emma …' She clears her throat awkwardly. 'You don't have any secrets from
me
, do you?'
'From
you
?' I say, slightly thrown.
A series of images flashes rapidly through my mind. That weird dream I once had about Lissy and me being lesbians. Those couple of times I've bought supermarket carrots and sworn to her they were organic. The time when we were fifteen and she went to France and I got off with Mike Appleton whom she had a complete crush on, and never told her.
'No! Of course not!' I say, and quickly take a sip of water. 'Why? Have you got any from me?'
Two dots of pink appear on Lissy's cheeks.
'No, of course I haven't!' she says in an unnatural voice. 'I was just … wondering.' She reaches for the TV guide and starts to flip through it, avoiding my gaze. 'You know. Just out of interest.'
'Yes, well.' I give a shrug. 'So was I.'
Wow. Lissy's got a secret. I wonder what it—
Of course. Like she was really going over case notes with that guy. Does she think I'm a complete moron?
EIGHT
I arrive at work the next morning with exactly one aim. Avoid Jack Harper.
It should be easy enough. The Panther Corporation is a huge company in a huge building. He'll be busy in other departments today. He'll probably be tied up in loads of meetings. He'll probably spend all day on the eleventh floor or something.
Even so, as I approach the big glass doors, my pace
'And now he's turned up at work.'
'What?' Lissy stares at me. 'Are you serious? Who is he?'
'He's …' I'm about to say Jack Harper's name when I remember the promise I made. 'He's just this … this guy who's come in to observe,' I say vaguely.
'Is he senior?'
'He's … yes. You could say he's pretty senior.'
'Blimey.' Lissy frowns, thinking for a few moments. 'Well, does it really matter? If he knows a few things about you.'
'Lissy, it wasn't just a few things.' I feel myself flush slightly. 'It was
everything
. I told him I faked a grade on my CV.'
'You faked a grade on your
CV
?' echoes Lissy in shock. 'Are you serious?'
'I told him about feeding Artemis's spider plant orange juice, I told him I find G-strings uncomfortable …'
I tail off to see Lissy staring at me, aghast.
'Emma,' she says at last. 'Have you ever
heard
the phrase "too much information?"'
'I didn't
mean
to say any of it!' I retort defensively. 'It just kind of came out! I'd had three vodkas, and I thought we were about to die. Honestly, Lissy, you would have been the same. Everyone was screaming, people were praying, the plane was lurching around …'
'So you blab all your secrets to your boss.'
'But he
wasn't
my boss on the plane!' I cry in frustration. 'He was just some stranger. I was never supposed to see him again!'
There's silence as Lissy takes this all in.
'You know, this is like what happened to my cousin,' she says at last. 'She went to a party, and there, right in front of her, was the doctor who'd delivered her baby two months before.'
'Ooh.' I pull a face.
'Exactly! She said she was so embarrassed, she had to leave. I mean, he'd seen everything! She said somehow it didn't matter when she was in a hospital room, but when she saw him standing there, holding a glass of wine and chatting about house prices, it was a different matter.'
'Well, this is the same,' I say hopelessly. 'He knows all my most intimate, personal details. But the difference is, I can't just leave! I have to sit there and pretend to be a good employee. And he
knows
I'm not.'
'So what are you going to do?'
'I don't know! I suppose all I can do is try to avoid him.'
'How long is he over for?'
'The rest of the week,' I say despairingly. 'The whole week.'
I pick up the zapper and turn on the television and for a few moments we stare silently at a load of dancing models in Gap jeans.
The ad finishes, and I look up again, to see Lissy looking at me curiously.
'What?' I say. 'What is it?'
'Emma …' She clears her throat awkwardly. 'You don't have any secrets from
me
, do you?'
'From
you
?' I say, slightly thrown.
A series of images flashes rapidly through my mind. That weird dream I once had about Lissy and me being lesbians. Those couple of times I've bought supermarket carrots and sworn to her they were organic. The time when we were fifteen and she went to France and I got off with Mike Appleton whom she had a complete crush on, and never told her.
'No! Of course not!' I say, and quickly take a sip of water. 'Why? Have you got any from me?'
Two dots of pink appear on Lissy's cheeks.
'No, of course I haven't!' she says in an unnatural voice. 'I was just … wondering.' She reaches for the TV guide and starts to flip through it, avoiding my gaze. 'You know. Just out of interest.'
'Yes, well.' I give a shrug. 'So was I.'
Wow. Lissy's got a secret. I wonder what it—
Of course. Like she was really going over case notes with that guy. Does she think I'm a complete moron?
EIGHT
I arrive at work the next morning with exactly one aim. Avoid Jack Harper.
It should be easy enough. The Panther Corporation is a huge company in a huge building. He'll be busy in other departments today. He'll probably be tied up in loads of meetings. He'll probably spend all day on the eleventh floor or something.
Even so, as I approach the big glass doors, my pace
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