I breathed, closing my fingers around the elusive insect the instant he laid it in my palm. I smiled in delight, watching my fingers shine then dim as the bug tiptoed across my flesh. From a biology enthusiast like Seth, this was a precious gift.
He turned toward me, familiar and somehow different. He smelled like the woods in spring and freshly mowed grass. It reminded me of other times I’d rested my head on his shoulder while we sat around the bonfires at night. His eyes searched mine before dropping in that shy way of his.
Confused, I fought the melting feeling inside me. He was a nice guy—warm-hearted. So the firefly didn’t necessarily mean anything. But the butterflies in my stomach told me that, despite my promise to Matt, I wanted it to. Seth had said he’d give me space. Did that mean he’d wait another month?
“Thank you.” A warm breeze blew off the water and tossed my hair in my eyes. “I’m glad we can still be—umm, friends.” For a moment I wished for the impossible, that we could be more.
“Is that all we are?” His fingers smoothed back the strands and lingered.
Just then, it felt like old times. A shiver danced up my spine. My brain was sending my heart so many mixed signals I felt like I’d short circuit. Or was it my heart messaging my brain? Either way. This sucked.
“I’m not sure—”
His mouth landed on mine.
Seth .
His lips were warm and gentle, familiar and foreign at the same time. My heart exploded. He still cared.
I had thought about him so often this year. I’d spoken his name out loud before I went to sleep, dreaming of this moment. I guess that’s what paralyzed me now. I was half-stuck in the past, back when it was okay to kiss Seth. But until I stopped being Matt’s girlfriend, this was dead wrong.
“Seth.” I broke away, my heart pounding, lips tingling. “We can’t. I told Matt I’d give our relationship a try. We’re going to give it another month.”
He dipped his head, then lifted large amber eyes to mine. “Didn’t you already have eight months together in Texas?” He shook his head. “Never mind. I knew you cared more than you admitted. I knew I shouldn’t have left to give you space. Should have stayed and forced the issue.”
“Then it wouldn’t have been you. It isn’t what the guy I fell for would have done.”
He closed his eyes for a moment and a shudder ran through him. “Nice guys finish last. I’m going to lose you.”
I rose on shaky legs and released the firefly. It blinked twice, then disappeared.
“Not necessarily. You were right when you said I cared about Matt. I do. As my oldest, closest friend, of course you’d know that. But I still have feelings for you too. I won’t ask you to wait…so for now, can we go back to being friends?” My heart recoiled from the blow I’d just delivered. How had I come so far from my plans for this summer?
Seth shook his head. “I’m sorry, Lauren. But seeing you with Matt the past couple days just about killed me.” He stood, his voice rumbling between us. “Maybe once I find someone else, we can go back to being friends.”
My eyes followed his to the curvy girl leaning in the doorway, the flashing lights behind her reflecting off her headband.
Ohmigod .
My heels sank in the sand and I felt like the rest of me was going down too. The finality of hearing him say he’d move on hurt me more than I had ever imagined. Pressure built in my chest, making it hard to breathe.
“I’ve got to go.” I bit my lip, trying to stifle a sob.
I backed away and bumped into a picnic table.
“I probably shouldn’t say this.” Seth’s voice hovered a notch above a whisper. “But for what it’s worth, Lauren, I wish we could be together this summer. I’m sorry we didn’t work out.”
He was sorry? I thought I’d break in two right in front of him. But this was my decision. Mine. Somehow, knowing that didn’t make it any easier.
I stumbled back to the lodge, desperate to get
He turned toward me, familiar and somehow different. He smelled like the woods in spring and freshly mowed grass. It reminded me of other times I’d rested my head on his shoulder while we sat around the bonfires at night. His eyes searched mine before dropping in that shy way of his.
Confused, I fought the melting feeling inside me. He was a nice guy—warm-hearted. So the firefly didn’t necessarily mean anything. But the butterflies in my stomach told me that, despite my promise to Matt, I wanted it to. Seth had said he’d give me space. Did that mean he’d wait another month?
“Thank you.” A warm breeze blew off the water and tossed my hair in my eyes. “I’m glad we can still be—umm, friends.” For a moment I wished for the impossible, that we could be more.
“Is that all we are?” His fingers smoothed back the strands and lingered.
Just then, it felt like old times. A shiver danced up my spine. My brain was sending my heart so many mixed signals I felt like I’d short circuit. Or was it my heart messaging my brain? Either way. This sucked.
“I’m not sure—”
His mouth landed on mine.
Seth .
His lips were warm and gentle, familiar and foreign at the same time. My heart exploded. He still cared.
I had thought about him so often this year. I’d spoken his name out loud before I went to sleep, dreaming of this moment. I guess that’s what paralyzed me now. I was half-stuck in the past, back when it was okay to kiss Seth. But until I stopped being Matt’s girlfriend, this was dead wrong.
“Seth.” I broke away, my heart pounding, lips tingling. “We can’t. I told Matt I’d give our relationship a try. We’re going to give it another month.”
He dipped his head, then lifted large amber eyes to mine. “Didn’t you already have eight months together in Texas?” He shook his head. “Never mind. I knew you cared more than you admitted. I knew I shouldn’t have left to give you space. Should have stayed and forced the issue.”
“Then it wouldn’t have been you. It isn’t what the guy I fell for would have done.”
He closed his eyes for a moment and a shudder ran through him. “Nice guys finish last. I’m going to lose you.”
I rose on shaky legs and released the firefly. It blinked twice, then disappeared.
“Not necessarily. You were right when you said I cared about Matt. I do. As my oldest, closest friend, of course you’d know that. But I still have feelings for you too. I won’t ask you to wait…so for now, can we go back to being friends?” My heart recoiled from the blow I’d just delivered. How had I come so far from my plans for this summer?
Seth shook his head. “I’m sorry, Lauren. But seeing you with Matt the past couple days just about killed me.” He stood, his voice rumbling between us. “Maybe once I find someone else, we can go back to being friends.”
My eyes followed his to the curvy girl leaning in the doorway, the flashing lights behind her reflecting off her headband.
Ohmigod .
My heels sank in the sand and I felt like the rest of me was going down too. The finality of hearing him say he’d move on hurt me more than I had ever imagined. Pressure built in my chest, making it hard to breathe.
“I’ve got to go.” I bit my lip, trying to stifle a sob.
I backed away and bumped into a picnic table.
“I probably shouldn’t say this.” Seth’s voice hovered a notch above a whisper. “But for what it’s worth, Lauren, I wish we could be together this summer. I’m sorry we didn’t work out.”
He was sorry? I thought I’d break in two right in front of him. But this was my decision. Mine. Somehow, knowing that didn’t make it any easier.
I stumbled back to the lodge, desperate to get
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