Called Up by Jen Doyle Page A

was.
    “That’s why we can’t, um...”
    His heart was pounding in his chest. In his throat. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.
    Fuck.
    “...kiss.”
    Right. Kiss. That’s what they weren’t supposed to do.
    “Or, um, anything else.”
    Pulling to a stop at the end of Lola’s driveway, Deke willed his hand not to shake as he shut off the truck and pulled the keys out of the ignition. He looked down at her hand—felt the heat still pulsing through every part of him, even the parts where he most definitely didn’t want it—and then up at her. He had no idea what look he gave her, but whatever it was made her sit back.
    Her cheeks turned bright pink and she gave a little cough. “I... So... I’m glad we talked.”
    That was a talk? Really? He twisted his wrist so that it was his hand on top. Heard her sweet little gasp, which didn’t help one bit.
    “Could you say something?” she whispered.
    No. Or at least he probably shouldn’t. But, well, good idea or not, that didn’t stop him. “Right now I can’t decide which I want more, to fuck those guys over or to just plain fuck. Clearly we’re not on the same page on either one of those things.”
    The angel and devil made their obligatory appearance, but they were both just sitting there with their mouths hanging open. Probably because they knew that, yes, that was the absolute wrong route to go. But her eyes went wide even as they sparked with interest, her gaze very unhelpfully focused on his mouth.
    Leaning in close to her ear, he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Her hair smelled like lemons. All citrusy and fresh. He turned his head just enough for the skin of his cheek to brush the skin of hers. For her breath to catch in a hitch.
    “So I need some time to get my head on straight. We can talk again after that.”
    Then he pulled back, let go of her hand and got himself out of the truck.
    * * *
    Unsurprisingly, Fitz kept her distance from him for most of the night. And Deke, well, he kept his distance from everyone. Since he and Lola were the only ones at this non-Father’s Day barbecue who had a dad nearby and accessible, Deke decided to stick close to his and help man the grill.
    It wasn’t the best idea since his dad could read him better than he thought. The first thing his dad said was, “You okay?”
    His eyes flicked over to where Fitz was taking an active role in a fairly raucous water balloon fight started by Nate and Emily. Was it not possible for the woman to stay dry for once? “Phenomenal,” he said.
    His father laughed. “Want to try that again, son?”
    After a glance at his dad, Deke returned his attention to the grill. “No,” he muttered. “I really don’t.”
    His father didn’t respond right away. Long enough, in fact, for Deke to think the conversation was over, which was fine by him. He had a good relationship with his dad. They talked about the bar, about Lola and the kids, sports, and even sometimes, when they were being ambitious, town politics. With the exception of “the talk” when Deke was around twelve, it didn’t usually get much more personal. Frankly, Deke liked it that way.
    So he wasn’t at all ready for his father to turn to him, voice rough. “Are you happy, Max?”
    Deke honestly didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t ready for the emotion in his father’s voice. And, to be honest, he wasn’t very happy at the moment. That was an entirely new thing, too. But he wasn’t about to admit it. “I... Sure. I mean—”
    “I know you started taking classes for your MBA.”
    Deke’s head snapped up. He hadn’t told anyone about that. And anyway, it hadn’t gone anywhere.
    “And then Dave died and you put everything on hold to be what Lola needed.”
    “Anyone would have done that,” he mumbled.
    “Yeah, for all of two weeks—maybe two months. But two years?” He shook his head and the emotion they’d all felt after Dave’s death was written clearly on his face. “I’d give