energy began to dissipate little by little. I felt like I could have held onto that connection forever. But I had to get the hell out of Crazytown, otherwise known as the green elves’ training grounds; and to do that, I had to get rid of the floaty, hippy love feeling The Green had sent to me. It made me want to stay, not leave.
I realized as I finished swatting the bits of dried leaves and twigs off my tunic that it was uncommonly silent. I looked up and was astonished at the vision that greeted me.
Every elf, including Robin and Finn, was down on one knee, head bowed.
I kept my eyes on them, sure they would soon realize I was free and jump up to use me for target practice again. My green glowy thing must have temporarily blinded them or something.
Time to get Finn and get the hell out of here. I walked over quietly to where he was kneeling, just a few feet away. I nudged him in the shoulder, whispering to him as loud as I dared. “Finn! Come on! Let’s go!”
He looked up at me, tears in his eyes. He stared at me but didn’t move. He looked like he was paralyzed.
Shit. I’ve given them all fucking strokes. I was in a panic now, pretty sure that one accidental stroke might be believable, but thirty of them? Probably not.
I walked over to Robin, leaning down a little, looking at his face, trying to see if he was still conscious. He looked up as he heard me approach. He had tears in his eyes too. He stood as I began speaking.
“Hey, um, Robin? Listen, I’m sorry about that ... whatever ... ”
“Mother ... ”
One word. That’s all he said. Was he calling me ‘motherfucker’? Because he had a funny way of delivering the insult. He didn’t look even remotely mad. He didn’t look like he wanted to kick my sorry butt. He looked like ... like he was going to cry some more. When I called someone a motherfucker, I was usually pretty pissed. Like level eight pissed. He ... was not.
“Okaaaaay, so anyway, I think that went ... well. So whaddya say my friend Finn and I go back to the compound?”
Robin turned, signaling his troops to stand. They all dutifully got to their feet, arms dangling by their sides.
I grabbed Finn’s elbow, ready to drag him back into the trees with me. The minute I saw a single bow or arrow coming up, I was going to beg any nearby vines to wrap their stupid elf assses up with supersonic speed. It’s what I should have done in the first place. Go with what you know, that’s what Tony always used to say. There was nothing more I wanted right at that moment than to talk to my best friend. I missed him desperately.
This entire situation settled it. If they didn’t give me a phone or some way to contact Tony, I was outta here. This whole ‘welcome to our party, now we’re going to kill you’ shit was total bullhonkey .
“Come on, Finn, we’re leaving.”
Finn stumbled along, following my lead but saying nothing. He was totally out of it.
“Where’s the door, Finn? I don’t know how to work this shit.”
Finn didn’t respond, so I looked back at him, yelling, “Finn! Snap out of it, dude! I need you to tell me where the fucking door is!”
Finn stopped walking. He looked up at me, exhaustion all over his face. He smiled sleepily.
I went back and stood in front of him. He watched me come all the way up, never taking his eyes from mine. I snapped my fingers in his face. “Helloooo? Anyone home in there?”
“Yeah, Jayne, I’m here. Whaddya want?”
I threw my arms up in frustration. “What the hell is wrong with you ?! I’ve been saying it over and over! Where is the damn door to the friggin’ compound?”
“It’s right there,” said Finn, pointing off to his right.
“Open it.”
“Okey dokey.”
Within seconds the door appeared. Finn looked at me, grinning. “Does that make you
I realized as I finished swatting the bits of dried leaves and twigs off my tunic that it was uncommonly silent. I looked up and was astonished at the vision that greeted me.
Every elf, including Robin and Finn, was down on one knee, head bowed.
I kept my eyes on them, sure they would soon realize I was free and jump up to use me for target practice again. My green glowy thing must have temporarily blinded them or something.
Time to get Finn and get the hell out of here. I walked over quietly to where he was kneeling, just a few feet away. I nudged him in the shoulder, whispering to him as loud as I dared. “Finn! Come on! Let’s go!”
He looked up at me, tears in his eyes. He stared at me but didn’t move. He looked like he was paralyzed.
Shit. I’ve given them all fucking strokes. I was in a panic now, pretty sure that one accidental stroke might be believable, but thirty of them? Probably not.
I walked over to Robin, leaning down a little, looking at his face, trying to see if he was still conscious. He looked up as he heard me approach. He had tears in his eyes too. He stood as I began speaking.
“Hey, um, Robin? Listen, I’m sorry about that ... whatever ... ”
“Mother ... ”
One word. That’s all he said. Was he calling me ‘motherfucker’? Because he had a funny way of delivering the insult. He didn’t look even remotely mad. He didn’t look like he wanted to kick my sorry butt. He looked like ... like he was going to cry some more. When I called someone a motherfucker, I was usually pretty pissed. Like level eight pissed. He ... was not.
“Okaaaaay, so anyway, I think that went ... well. So whaddya say my friend Finn and I go back to the compound?”
Robin turned, signaling his troops to stand. They all dutifully got to their feet, arms dangling by their sides.
I grabbed Finn’s elbow, ready to drag him back into the trees with me. The minute I saw a single bow or arrow coming up, I was going to beg any nearby vines to wrap their stupid elf assses up with supersonic speed. It’s what I should have done in the first place. Go with what you know, that’s what Tony always used to say. There was nothing more I wanted right at that moment than to talk to my best friend. I missed him desperately.
This entire situation settled it. If they didn’t give me a phone or some way to contact Tony, I was outta here. This whole ‘welcome to our party, now we’re going to kill you’ shit was total bullhonkey .
“Come on, Finn, we’re leaving.”
Finn stumbled along, following my lead but saying nothing. He was totally out of it.
“Where’s the door, Finn? I don’t know how to work this shit.”
Finn didn’t respond, so I looked back at him, yelling, “Finn! Snap out of it, dude! I need you to tell me where the fucking door is!”
Finn stopped walking. He looked up at me, exhaustion all over his face. He smiled sleepily.
I went back and stood in front of him. He watched me come all the way up, never taking his eyes from mine. I snapped my fingers in his face. “Helloooo? Anyone home in there?”
“Yeah, Jayne, I’m here. Whaddya want?”
I threw my arms up in frustration. “What the hell is wrong with you ?! I’ve been saying it over and over! Where is the damn door to the friggin’ compound?”
“It’s right there,” said Finn, pointing off to his right.
“Open it.”
“Okey dokey.”
Within seconds the door appeared. Finn looked at me, grinning. “Does that make you
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