his mate. She gripped his hand and squeezed the second he sat down. I could see the color drain from his fingers as she held him, as though he were the tether to her very sanity. Perhaps he was. Now that I knew her mental status was so fragile.
“Mia, thank you for coming. Maxwell…Madison…” Her voice cracked and tears poured down her cheeks. “It’s so good to see you. I never thought I would again…” She stopped on a choked sob.
Kent handed her a handkerchief, which she used to blot her eyes and nose.
“You look so… God you’re all incredibly beautiful,” she said, awe filling her tone.
I glanced at Maddy to see how she was doing. Her cheeks were tinged with blotches and her nose ran. She wiped it with her sleeve. Me? I had no more tears left to cry. I’d spent years crying over this woman, and more recently, days. I felt dried out…hollow.
“It’s good to finally meet the woman who bore us face-to-face,” Max said, putting an arm around Maddy. “I know for Maddy and me, it’s like the first time.”
Our mother nodded, more tears falling in a river down her face. She cleared her voice. “I know that nothing I can say will ever take away the hurt that I caused…”
I clenched my teeth, not wanting to make this about me, because it wasn’t just about me. She’d left all of us.
“But I’m better now and can understand the damage I’ve done. I know, Mia, that you are very angry with me, and had I known that my leaving would have been worse than my staying, I never would have left.”
“Why did you leave?” I asked the single question I’d been dying to ask for fifteen years.
She licked her lips and sat up straighter. “At the time, I wasn’t thinking clearly. There were more times that I’d find myself standing in the kitchen and not know what I was doing than not. More calls from the school that I hadn’t picked you up. Missed worked without realizing it. One day, I opened my eyes, and I found myself standing in the center of the freeway, walking barefoot toward the desert. I was in my nightgown. Your father was working a night job at the time, and I was between jobs at the casino. You girls were home alone. I had no idea where I was.”
“That sounds horrible,” Maddy spoke up, always the first one to try to mend the hurts of the world and all the people in it.
Meryl nodded. “It was. And those losses of time, the memory lapses all ended in dangerous situations, and I couldn’t figure out how to stop. The last straw was when I was so depressed that I drank an entire bottle of your father’s whiskey. I was convinced he was cheating on me.”
I scoffed. She glanced up and a blush ran up her cheeks.
“I know I was the one that was cheating. Well, I didn’t really know. Most of the time, I was confused where I was and what time I was in. But anyway…that last night I drank the whiskey. I put you two girls in the car, and I got behind the wheel.”
Max’s jaw tightened, and I could almost hear the grinding of his teeth as she spoke.
“Somehow, I drove off the freeway and out into the desert. A Good Samaritan saw my car go off the freeway, called the cops, and followed me. Eventually, the car stopped. I’d passed out at the wheel. The cops came, took you girls, and put me in the drunk tank. Your father bailed me out, and I was supposed to face charges of child endangerment and possibly do some jail time. Only—”
“You left,” I finished, digging the knife into her heart with malicious intent.
“I didn’t know I was sick then. No one did.”
Chapter Eight
“ A nd what about me ?” Max asked.
I was wondering the same damn thing.
Max clarified. “You left me five years before you met up with Michael Saunders.”
Meryl inhaled slowly and wiped her nose. “You’re right, I did. Jackson was a good man. He wanted to take care of me, raise a family. At the time, I still thought I was going to be a famous dancer. You need to remember, back then, my illness was
“Mia, thank you for coming. Maxwell…Madison…” Her voice cracked and tears poured down her cheeks. “It’s so good to see you. I never thought I would again…” She stopped on a choked sob.
Kent handed her a handkerchief, which she used to blot her eyes and nose.
“You look so… God you’re all incredibly beautiful,” she said, awe filling her tone.
I glanced at Maddy to see how she was doing. Her cheeks were tinged with blotches and her nose ran. She wiped it with her sleeve. Me? I had no more tears left to cry. I’d spent years crying over this woman, and more recently, days. I felt dried out…hollow.
“It’s good to finally meet the woman who bore us face-to-face,” Max said, putting an arm around Maddy. “I know for Maddy and me, it’s like the first time.”
Our mother nodded, more tears falling in a river down her face. She cleared her voice. “I know that nothing I can say will ever take away the hurt that I caused…”
I clenched my teeth, not wanting to make this about me, because it wasn’t just about me. She’d left all of us.
“But I’m better now and can understand the damage I’ve done. I know, Mia, that you are very angry with me, and had I known that my leaving would have been worse than my staying, I never would have left.”
“Why did you leave?” I asked the single question I’d been dying to ask for fifteen years.
She licked her lips and sat up straighter. “At the time, I wasn’t thinking clearly. There were more times that I’d find myself standing in the kitchen and not know what I was doing than not. More calls from the school that I hadn’t picked you up. Missed worked without realizing it. One day, I opened my eyes, and I found myself standing in the center of the freeway, walking barefoot toward the desert. I was in my nightgown. Your father was working a night job at the time, and I was between jobs at the casino. You girls were home alone. I had no idea where I was.”
“That sounds horrible,” Maddy spoke up, always the first one to try to mend the hurts of the world and all the people in it.
Meryl nodded. “It was. And those losses of time, the memory lapses all ended in dangerous situations, and I couldn’t figure out how to stop. The last straw was when I was so depressed that I drank an entire bottle of your father’s whiskey. I was convinced he was cheating on me.”
I scoffed. She glanced up and a blush ran up her cheeks.
“I know I was the one that was cheating. Well, I didn’t really know. Most of the time, I was confused where I was and what time I was in. But anyway…that last night I drank the whiskey. I put you two girls in the car, and I got behind the wheel.”
Max’s jaw tightened, and I could almost hear the grinding of his teeth as she spoke.
“Somehow, I drove off the freeway and out into the desert. A Good Samaritan saw my car go off the freeway, called the cops, and followed me. Eventually, the car stopped. I’d passed out at the wheel. The cops came, took you girls, and put me in the drunk tank. Your father bailed me out, and I was supposed to face charges of child endangerment and possibly do some jail time. Only—”
“You left,” I finished, digging the knife into her heart with malicious intent.
“I didn’t know I was sick then. No one did.”
Chapter Eight
“ A nd what about me ?” Max asked.
I was wondering the same damn thing.
Max clarified. “You left me five years before you met up with Michael Saunders.”
Meryl inhaled slowly and wiped her nose. “You’re right, I did. Jackson was a good man. He wanted to take care of me, raise a family. At the time, I still thought I was going to be a famous dancer. You need to remember, back then, my illness was
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