accomplishments or kids who want to see how cool their dad is and show all their friends when they come over. So maybe when Jane has the baby, I’ll be more interested in displaying my ribbons.”
“Wait,” Dustin cut in suddenly, “Jane’s pregnant? With your kid?”
Vince sighed. “Yeah. I guess it happened right before we ended things. She was willing to have an abortion if I wasn’t ready to be a father, but I couldn’t do that. I realized I honestly want to have kids.”
Dustin sounded genuinely curious. “How are you guys going to do this?”
“We’re just going to work it out on our own,” Vince explained. “I’m going to help however I can, whatever Jane needs me to do.”
“I think you’ll be a good dad,” Dustin commented.
Vince smiled. “Thanks. I’m going to try, at least. Back to what we were talking about; it’s not like I want to have other people admire me for what I win, just that it would be less asshole-ish for me to have a trophy wall if I wasn’t the only one to see it or have things on it. Though I probably sound like a conceited douche because I have no idea how to word what I’m thinking.”
Dustin laughed. “I guess I understand what you’re saying. I think it’s human nature to want someone else to be proud of the things you do. If you’re the only one to see your ribbons on a daily basis, you’re the only one who remembers to be proud of you.”
Vince thought a moment. “Something like that, I guess,” he agreed after a minute. “Deep down, I guess all I want is someone to be happy for me. Dad’s really all I have since Mom’s gone and Mandy moved an hour away, and Jane left.”
“For what it’s worth,” Dustin said cautiously, “I’m proud of you and glad I could be here today. And I have a feeling Jane is proud of you, too, in general. You guys should definitely stay close, baby or no; she’s really awesome. And I bet your mom is proud, too, if Heaven actually is real. If it is, I’m sure she watches you all the time and is especially proud of you for the pink you and Xander wear. And maybe Mandy is distracted by being a newlywed and getting her life settled, but I bet when it comes down to it, she’s proud of her brother. Of course your dad is, but he’s not the only one, and no one is proud of you just for your show wins.”
Vince had to pull over right there on the highway. He put the truck in park and just stared at Dustin, who quickly blushed and looked away. Vince was fighting a lump in his throat as he sat there looking at a kid who he was pretty sure had had very few, if any, friendly social encounters in the last two years, who had made him feel more emotionally aware and sure of himself than anyone had in a long time.
“Thanks, Dust,” he murmured.
Dustin nodded and looked down at his hands in his lap before looking back at Vince. “It’s just that you have so much, and you don’t even realize it. Sure, you lost your mom, you lost Jane in a way, and you’re still trying to figure your life out. But just spending as little time around your dad as I have, I know he actually loves you because you’re his son, not because you’re great at what you do. You’re great at what you do because he loves you enough to support you. I doubt you ever had to deal with being almost constantly lectured and grounded. I’m nineteen years old, and I’ve never had a cell phone. I never had a MySpace or a Facebook account, not even so much as an e-mail or instant messaging account. I got a crappy laptop when I started having to write a ton of papers in high school and my parents were sick of driving me to school early or picking me up late because I had to use the library to write them. I didn’t dare make any of those accounts, because someone would tell my parents eventually. But yeah, I was desperate enough to use it to watch porn because that was the only way I had to figure out why I really didn’t give a crap when my friends got so excited
“Wait,” Dustin cut in suddenly, “Jane’s pregnant? With your kid?”
Vince sighed. “Yeah. I guess it happened right before we ended things. She was willing to have an abortion if I wasn’t ready to be a father, but I couldn’t do that. I realized I honestly want to have kids.”
Dustin sounded genuinely curious. “How are you guys going to do this?”
“We’re just going to work it out on our own,” Vince explained. “I’m going to help however I can, whatever Jane needs me to do.”
“I think you’ll be a good dad,” Dustin commented.
Vince smiled. “Thanks. I’m going to try, at least. Back to what we were talking about; it’s not like I want to have other people admire me for what I win, just that it would be less asshole-ish for me to have a trophy wall if I wasn’t the only one to see it or have things on it. Though I probably sound like a conceited douche because I have no idea how to word what I’m thinking.”
Dustin laughed. “I guess I understand what you’re saying. I think it’s human nature to want someone else to be proud of the things you do. If you’re the only one to see your ribbons on a daily basis, you’re the only one who remembers to be proud of you.”
Vince thought a moment. “Something like that, I guess,” he agreed after a minute. “Deep down, I guess all I want is someone to be happy for me. Dad’s really all I have since Mom’s gone and Mandy moved an hour away, and Jane left.”
“For what it’s worth,” Dustin said cautiously, “I’m proud of you and glad I could be here today. And I have a feeling Jane is proud of you, too, in general. You guys should definitely stay close, baby or no; she’s really awesome. And I bet your mom is proud, too, if Heaven actually is real. If it is, I’m sure she watches you all the time and is especially proud of you for the pink you and Xander wear. And maybe Mandy is distracted by being a newlywed and getting her life settled, but I bet when it comes down to it, she’s proud of her brother. Of course your dad is, but he’s not the only one, and no one is proud of you just for your show wins.”
Vince had to pull over right there on the highway. He put the truck in park and just stared at Dustin, who quickly blushed and looked away. Vince was fighting a lump in his throat as he sat there looking at a kid who he was pretty sure had had very few, if any, friendly social encounters in the last two years, who had made him feel more emotionally aware and sure of himself than anyone had in a long time.
“Thanks, Dust,” he murmured.
Dustin nodded and looked down at his hands in his lap before looking back at Vince. “It’s just that you have so much, and you don’t even realize it. Sure, you lost your mom, you lost Jane in a way, and you’re still trying to figure your life out. But just spending as little time around your dad as I have, I know he actually loves you because you’re his son, not because you’re great at what you do. You’re great at what you do because he loves you enough to support you. I doubt you ever had to deal with being almost constantly lectured and grounded. I’m nineteen years old, and I’ve never had a cell phone. I never had a MySpace or a Facebook account, not even so much as an e-mail or instant messaging account. I got a crappy laptop when I started having to write a ton of papers in high school and my parents were sick of driving me to school early or picking me up late because I had to use the library to write them. I didn’t dare make any of those accounts, because someone would tell my parents eventually. But yeah, I was desperate enough to use it to watch porn because that was the only way I had to figure out why I really didn’t give a crap when my friends got so excited