Charles?
—this one here, he points,
then excuses himself. he has to get up and
go into the
kitchen, he’s baking cookies in the oven.
he comes out soon with a
plate.
—try some.
I do. they’re
good.
—want some coffee? he asks.
—no, thanks, Charles, I haven’t been sleeping
nights.
he got married at 70 to a woman
58. 22 years ago. she’s in a rest home now.
—she’s getting better, he says, she recognizes me.
they let her get up to go to the bathroom.
—that’s fine, Charles.
—I can’t stand her damned daughter, though, they think
I’m after her money.
—is there anything I can do for you, Charles? need
anything from the store, anything like
that?
—no, I just went shopping this morning.
his back is as straight as the wall and he has the
tiniest pot
belly. as he talks he
keeps his one eye on the tv set.
—I’m going now, Charles, you got my phone number?
—yeh.
—how are the girls treating you, Charles?
—my friend, I haven’t thought about girls for some
years now.
—goodnight, Charles.
—goodnight.
I go to the door
open it
close it
outside
the smell of freshly-baked cookies
follows me.
on the circuit
it was up in San Francisco
after my poetry reading.
it had been a nice crowd
I had gotten my money
I had this place upstairs
there was some drinking
and this guy started beating up on a fag
I tried to stop him
and the guy broke a window
deliberately.
I told them all to
get out
and she started hollering down to the guy
who had beat on the fag
and he kept calling her name back up
and then I remembered she had vanished for an hour
before the reading.
she did those things.
maybe not bad things
but consistently careless things
and I told her we were through
and to get out
and I went to bed
then hours later she walked in
and I said, what the hell are you doing here?
she was all wild, hair down in her face,
you’re too callous, I said, I don’t want you.
it was dark and she leaped at me:
I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you!
I was still too drunk to defend myself
and she had me down on the kitchen floor
and she clawed my face and
bit a hole in my arm.
then I went back to bed and listened to her heels
going down the hill.
my friend, andre
this kid used to teach at Kansas U.
then they moved him out
he went to a bean factory
then he and his wife moved to the coast
she got a job and worked while
he looked for a job as an actor.
I really want to be an actor, he told me,
that’s all I want to be.
he came by with his wife.
he came by alone.
the streets around here are full of guys who
want to be actors.
I saw him yesterday.
he was rolling cigarettes.
I poured him some white wine.
my wife is getting tired of waiting, he said,
I’m going to teach karate.
his hands were swollen from hitting
bricks and walls and doors.
he told me about some of the great oriental
fighters. there was one guy so good
he could turn his head 180 degrees
to see who was behind him. that’s very hard to do,
he said.
further: it’s more difficult to fight 4 men properly placed
than to fight many more. when you have many more
they get in each other’s way, and a good fighter who has
strength and agility can do well.
some of the great fighters, he said,
even suck their balls up into their bodies.
this can be done—to some extent—because there are
natural cavities in the body…. if you stand upsidedown
you will notice this.
I gave him a little more white wine,
then he left.
you know, sometimes making it with a typewriter
isn’t so painful
after all.
i was glad
I was glad I had money in the Savings and Loan
Friday afternoon hungover
I didn’t have a job
I was glad I had money in the Savings and Loan
I
—this one here, he points,
then excuses himself. he has to get up and
go into the
kitchen, he’s baking cookies in the oven.
he comes out soon with a
plate.
—try some.
I do. they’re
good.
—want some coffee? he asks.
—no, thanks, Charles, I haven’t been sleeping
nights.
he got married at 70 to a woman
58. 22 years ago. she’s in a rest home now.
—she’s getting better, he says, she recognizes me.
they let her get up to go to the bathroom.
—that’s fine, Charles.
—I can’t stand her damned daughter, though, they think
I’m after her money.
—is there anything I can do for you, Charles? need
anything from the store, anything like
that?
—no, I just went shopping this morning.
his back is as straight as the wall and he has the
tiniest pot
belly. as he talks he
keeps his one eye on the tv set.
—I’m going now, Charles, you got my phone number?
—yeh.
—how are the girls treating you, Charles?
—my friend, I haven’t thought about girls for some
years now.
—goodnight, Charles.
—goodnight.
I go to the door
open it
close it
outside
the smell of freshly-baked cookies
follows me.
on the circuit
it was up in San Francisco
after my poetry reading.
it had been a nice crowd
I had gotten my money
I had this place upstairs
there was some drinking
and this guy started beating up on a fag
I tried to stop him
and the guy broke a window
deliberately.
I told them all to
get out
and she started hollering down to the guy
who had beat on the fag
and he kept calling her name back up
and then I remembered she had vanished for an hour
before the reading.
she did those things.
maybe not bad things
but consistently careless things
and I told her we were through
and to get out
and I went to bed
then hours later she walked in
and I said, what the hell are you doing here?
she was all wild, hair down in her face,
you’re too callous, I said, I don’t want you.
it was dark and she leaped at me:
I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you!
I was still too drunk to defend myself
and she had me down on the kitchen floor
and she clawed my face and
bit a hole in my arm.
then I went back to bed and listened to her heels
going down the hill.
my friend, andre
this kid used to teach at Kansas U.
then they moved him out
he went to a bean factory
then he and his wife moved to the coast
she got a job and worked while
he looked for a job as an actor.
I really want to be an actor, he told me,
that’s all I want to be.
he came by with his wife.
he came by alone.
the streets around here are full of guys who
want to be actors.
I saw him yesterday.
he was rolling cigarettes.
I poured him some white wine.
my wife is getting tired of waiting, he said,
I’m going to teach karate.
his hands were swollen from hitting
bricks and walls and doors.
he told me about some of the great oriental
fighters. there was one guy so good
he could turn his head 180 degrees
to see who was behind him. that’s very hard to do,
he said.
further: it’s more difficult to fight 4 men properly placed
than to fight many more. when you have many more
they get in each other’s way, and a good fighter who has
strength and agility can do well.
some of the great fighters, he said,
even suck their balls up into their bodies.
this can be done—to some extent—because there are
natural cavities in the body…. if you stand upsidedown
you will notice this.
I gave him a little more white wine,
then he left.
you know, sometimes making it with a typewriter
isn’t so painful
after all.
i was glad
I was glad I had money in the Savings and Loan
Friday afternoon hungover
I didn’t have a job
I was glad I had money in the Savings and Loan
I
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