Burn My Heart

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Authors: Beverley Naidoo
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said with pride.
    ‘What does he do when he finds a Mau Mau?’
    ‘Not one! Hundreds! Most of them are! Dad says he can tell by looking at their eyes. They get carted away to prison or government camps. Truck loads of ’em.’
    ‘Then why is the camp secret?’ Mathew persisted. ‘The government must know about it if they send their trucks.’
    ‘They don’t know about it
officially
but they know they can rely on Dad to get results. You’re really clueless, aren’t you, Mat?’ Lance rolled his eyes and shook his head.
    Mathew resented Lance’s tone. If he was so stupid, why had Lance made a secret pact with him? He thrust the binoculars back to Lance.
    ‘I’m going to the dairy,’ he said curtly. ‘I want to see Titanic Lady.’ Mathew pushed against the earth and stood up. Lance grabbed his leg and pulled him down. The binoculars fell on the ground.
    ‘Idiot! They’ll see you!’
    ‘I don’t care! Let me go!’ Mathew tried to pull away, but Lance held on. They tangled as Mathew refused to give in.
    ‘OK,’ Lance gasped, releasing his grip. ‘Let’s get out of here. Just keep your head down! If Dad finds out we’ve been here, we’ve had it.’
    Mathew scrambled on to his feet and set off, leaving Lance to pick up the binoculars and follow. He was glad that he had stood up a bit to Lance. But he kept his head down. The last thing he wanted was to be ‘had’ by Inspector Smithers.

MARCH 1953
14

Accusations
    Not a day passed without Mugo worrying about Gitau. Had his brother and Maina reached the forest? What were they doing? How were they surviving? At first Mami had been very quiet when Baba told her what had happened. Later, when Baba expressed his anger that Gitau had ‘
thrown away his education
’, Mugo was surprised how Mami reacted: ‘
Do not judge him harshly! If you walked in your son’s skin, would you not feel like him?
’ Their evenings, however, were now often filled with heavy silence. There was still no word of Mugo’s uncle but many stories reached them of new detention camps springing up across the country. They heard about droves of Kikuyus driven out of their homes on wazungu farms and forced into the reserves. Sometimes, when he had a free hour, Mugo went down to the gate by the road. He sat beside the Turkana guards from where he sometimes saw passing trucks crammed with men, women andchildren. Whenever he saw a truck transporting prisoners inside a wire cage, he strained his eyes to scour the faces. But the vehicles were usually too fast, reducing everyone to an angry blur in the dust.
    He began to talk to the guards. He was curious about them but because they looked so fearsome, he had to dare himself. Once he had found the courage, he discovered that they were not much older than Gitau. They spoke a little Swahili and he asked them to teach him some of their Turkana words. In turn he taught them some Kikuyu ones. Occasionally he wondered what Gitau would say, if he saw Mugo being friendly with people paid to guard the wazungu who had stolen their grandfather’s land. It was all so confusing. He learned about where they lived near a great lake in the north surrounded by desert sand. For most of the year, there was no rain so their cattle were always thin. Their families were very poor and they had never been to school. They missed their homes but had come to work for the wazungu because they needed money. They had soon learned that many people hated what they did. It was lonely work.
    Mugo had also begun to know loneliness. His days were spent in and around the kitchen. Mzee Josiah seemed to have become much older. He rarely spoke except to discuss the day’s menu withthe memsahib and to tell Mugo what needed to be done. Even when Mama Mercy came to the kitchen and began a conversation with her husband, Mzee Josiah would cut her short. Mugo wondered if they even talked at home. When he glanced at Mzee Josiah’s eyes, they seemed tormented.
    In the past during his

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