that to happen to you, Sara?” Disbelief emerged in his voice. “You don’t think I’d have protected you from that kind of thing?”
“Would you have been able to?” I rebutted. Damien had made it clear there was no getting out of it. Once you’re in, you’re their property. It had been painted pretty black and white to me.
“I would have found a way,” was his response.
“In other words, no.”
“I would have found a way,” he stressed again tightly. “I’d have died before I let someone else touch you. You promised me, Sara. You promised the long haul and broke it within hours.”
“Jaxon–”
“You threw me under the bus. Told him about Brett. Now I’m stuck on this side and I can’t help you–”
“He put me in a room with nowhere to go,” I cried.
“And I would have found you!” he angrily retorted. “Just like I have now! I’d have found you and brought you back.”
“Then take me back. I’m out of there now.”
“The deal’s been made, Sara. There’s no fixing this. If I rock the boat, hell’s going to break loose. It’d be selfish of me to risk every Scorpion’s life because I want a woman who freely threw me under the bus with the enemy. You’re his property now, Sara. That was his act of retaliation.”
Shock.
Hopelessness.
Horrible chest pains.
This was heartbreak over and over again – the never ending constant in my life. He was going to let me go.
“I love you so much,” I whispered. Low blow, I know. I wanted him to hear my love and take back those words. There’s always a way. He’ll find a way—
“Sara, you know I’ll always love you.” Fuck, was he really ending this?
“Then help me get out of here because there’s no way I can on my own. They’ve got cameras and men everywhere–”
“I can’t help you,” he interrupted again, sterner than before.
I exhaled hopelessly. “So that’s it, then? You’re just going to leave me prisoner here?”
“It’s out of my hands. I can’t… I can’t do anything to help you. I’m powerless.”
“You have to do something! Please, Jaxon. Please, please.”
“It’s done. You can’t get out of this.”
“You’re going to abandon me? Just leave me here like nothing? How could you–”
“If you hadn’t run off, if you’d just decided to stay like you promised, none of this would have happened! None of it. You broke your word and now you’re going to have to live with it. My heart hurts, Sara. It can’t handle any more of this. I tried. I tried my damn fucking hardest for you and you walked away. I can’t take your uncertainty anymore!”
I wiped away the tears and nodded ahead. There really was no way to fix this, and it would have been horrible of me to press him to. He was in a shit situation and I’d broken my promise. Again. But fuck, it wasn’t as if I did it maliciously.
“Just say the words, Jaxon,” I whispered in resignation, “Tell me you’re done with me. Get it over with already.”
“Sara,” he paused, and I could hear his deep ragged breaths, filling the silence until he finished. “I have others depending on me. I can’t do this. I have to let you go.”
Tears fell from my eyes.
“Would you have been able to?” I rebutted. Damien had made it clear there was no getting out of it. Once you’re in, you’re their property. It had been painted pretty black and white to me.
“I would have found a way,” was his response.
“In other words, no.”
“I would have found a way,” he stressed again tightly. “I’d have died before I let someone else touch you. You promised me, Sara. You promised the long haul and broke it within hours.”
“Jaxon–”
“You threw me under the bus. Told him about Brett. Now I’m stuck on this side and I can’t help you–”
“He put me in a room with nowhere to go,” I cried.
“And I would have found you!” he angrily retorted. “Just like I have now! I’d have found you and brought you back.”
“Then take me back. I’m out of there now.”
“The deal’s been made, Sara. There’s no fixing this. If I rock the boat, hell’s going to break loose. It’d be selfish of me to risk every Scorpion’s life because I want a woman who freely threw me under the bus with the enemy. You’re his property now, Sara. That was his act of retaliation.”
Shock.
Hopelessness.
Horrible chest pains.
This was heartbreak over and over again – the never ending constant in my life. He was going to let me go.
“I love you so much,” I whispered. Low blow, I know. I wanted him to hear my love and take back those words. There’s always a way. He’ll find a way—
“Sara, you know I’ll always love you.” Fuck, was he really ending this?
“Then help me get out of here because there’s no way I can on my own. They’ve got cameras and men everywhere–”
“I can’t help you,” he interrupted again, sterner than before.
I exhaled hopelessly. “So that’s it, then? You’re just going to leave me prisoner here?”
“It’s out of my hands. I can’t… I can’t do anything to help you. I’m powerless.”
“You have to do something! Please, Jaxon. Please, please.”
“It’s done. You can’t get out of this.”
“You’re going to abandon me? Just leave me here like nothing? How could you–”
“If you hadn’t run off, if you’d just decided to stay like you promised, none of this would have happened! None of it. You broke your word and now you’re going to have to live with it. My heart hurts, Sara. It can’t handle any more of this. I tried. I tried my damn fucking hardest for you and you walked away. I can’t take your uncertainty anymore!”
I wiped away the tears and nodded ahead. There really was no way to fix this, and it would have been horrible of me to press him to. He was in a shit situation and I’d broken my promise. Again. But fuck, it wasn’t as if I did it maliciously.
“Just say the words, Jaxon,” I whispered in resignation, “Tell me you’re done with me. Get it over with already.”
“Sara,” he paused, and I could hear his deep ragged breaths, filling the silence until he finished. “I have others depending on me. I can’t do this. I have to let you go.”
Tears fell from my eyes.
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