and deaf ears had been unplugged. But for all the good he had done, he was nevertheless paying an incredible price. It was a contradiction of the worst sort; an oxymoronic, cruel twist of fate that threatened to forever define his existence. Not a day went by that he didn’t ask himself if it was worth the loneliness and the life of utter obscurity. The nights upon nights spent reliving nightmares, weeping until there were no more tears left in him to shed.
Lying in the grass now, he remembered how excited and ready he and Nina had been to consummate their vows on their honeymoon night. It had been the first time for both of them, and with each new discovery of sensual ecstasy, their mutual love had soared to new heights.
“I’ll never love anyone the way that I love you,” he had whispered in her ear afterward, gently cradling her in his arms. The scent of their lovemaking was the aroma of sweet honey and wine.
“And I’ll never love anyone the way that I love you,” she’d whispered back, kissing him softly. “Right now, right here—I’m so happy. You make me . . . so happy.”
“I live for nothing else, Nina. I want to know what makes you smile and what turns you on. I want to know what makes everything about you come alive.”
She’d smiled at him coyly. “Well, I’m a pretty complex woman. Finding all that out about me might take a while.”
“We’ve got all the time in the world,” he’d answered. “We’ve got . . . forever.” He’d pulled her closer to him then, ready to make love again.
How was he to know
forever
would be so fleeting?
He rolled over in the grass now, eventually rising to a sitting position with his back resting against a cypress tree. He turned the old black leather Bible over in his hands, slowly rotating it between his thumbs and forefingers. He never went anywhere without it—despite its old age, the spine remained in relatively good shape, as did the gold-leaf pages. It had been the only item of note passed down from his late mother, Jacqueline, a woman who’d probably read every single page of this book a dozen times.
“I want you to grow up to be a man of the Word,” Jacqueline had told him when he was seven years old. She had been softly stroking the top of his head, the way she always did when she wanted him to know how special he was.
“Things in this world are fleeting, baby. I want you to always remember that. The grass withers and the flowers will fade away, but the Word of God will stand forever.”
His seven-year-old mind hadn’t grasped the depth of this statement. “Whaddya mean, this Word will stand forever?” he’d asked. “It’s just a book.”
“Oh, it’s more than just a book, baby. It’s
alive
, living and breathing. It reveals our hearts like a powerful mirror. And it’s how God talks to us—through this holy Word. Do you want Him to talk to you?”
He’d nodded his head, his eyes growing wide with thoughts of God actually
talking
to him.
“Well then, He will . . . You just keep your heart ready.” She’d turned to a bookmarked place in the Bible. “Jeremiah 29:13 says,
‘And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.’
He’s up there, baby. God is all around you. And one day, you’re going to hear Him whisper such special things to your heart.”
He shook his head again and came back to the present. The constant flashbacks to the special moments in his past were driving him crazy. Looking down, he opened the Bible, and the pages automatically fell to the book of Jeremiah. The passage his mother had spoken to him over twenty-five years ago remained highlighted in yellow marker.
“I called to You, God,” he began, his voice trembling. “Don’t You remember? I called to You and prayed that You would bless my family. I prayed for You to watch over Nina and me, and give us the abundant life Your
Word
promises us in John 10:10. So what happened? I know I have no right to question You,
Lying in the grass now, he remembered how excited and ready he and Nina had been to consummate their vows on their honeymoon night. It had been the first time for both of them, and with each new discovery of sensual ecstasy, their mutual love had soared to new heights.
“I’ll never love anyone the way that I love you,” he had whispered in her ear afterward, gently cradling her in his arms. The scent of their lovemaking was the aroma of sweet honey and wine.
“And I’ll never love anyone the way that I love you,” she’d whispered back, kissing him softly. “Right now, right here—I’m so happy. You make me . . . so happy.”
“I live for nothing else, Nina. I want to know what makes you smile and what turns you on. I want to know what makes everything about you come alive.”
She’d smiled at him coyly. “Well, I’m a pretty complex woman. Finding all that out about me might take a while.”
“We’ve got all the time in the world,” he’d answered. “We’ve got . . . forever.” He’d pulled her closer to him then, ready to make love again.
How was he to know
forever
would be so fleeting?
He rolled over in the grass now, eventually rising to a sitting position with his back resting against a cypress tree. He turned the old black leather Bible over in his hands, slowly rotating it between his thumbs and forefingers. He never went anywhere without it—despite its old age, the spine remained in relatively good shape, as did the gold-leaf pages. It had been the only item of note passed down from his late mother, Jacqueline, a woman who’d probably read every single page of this book a dozen times.
“I want you to grow up to be a man of the Word,” Jacqueline had told him when he was seven years old. She had been softly stroking the top of his head, the way she always did when she wanted him to know how special he was.
“Things in this world are fleeting, baby. I want you to always remember that. The grass withers and the flowers will fade away, but the Word of God will stand forever.”
His seven-year-old mind hadn’t grasped the depth of this statement. “Whaddya mean, this Word will stand forever?” he’d asked. “It’s just a book.”
“Oh, it’s more than just a book, baby. It’s
alive
, living and breathing. It reveals our hearts like a powerful mirror. And it’s how God talks to us—through this holy Word. Do you want Him to talk to you?”
He’d nodded his head, his eyes growing wide with thoughts of God actually
talking
to him.
“Well then, He will . . . You just keep your heart ready.” She’d turned to a bookmarked place in the Bible. “Jeremiah 29:13 says,
‘And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.’
He’s up there, baby. God is all around you. And one day, you’re going to hear Him whisper such special things to your heart.”
He shook his head again and came back to the present. The constant flashbacks to the special moments in his past were driving him crazy. Looking down, he opened the Bible, and the pages automatically fell to the book of Jeremiah. The passage his mother had spoken to him over twenty-five years ago remained highlighted in yellow marker.
“I called to You, God,” he began, his voice trembling. “Don’t You remember? I called to You and prayed that You would bless my family. I prayed for You to watch over Nina and me, and give us the abundant life Your
Word
promises us in John 10:10. So what happened? I know I have no right to question You,
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